Do you remember me? [CTPWC]

page: 1
19
<<   2 >>

log in

join
+5 more 
posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 01:04 PM
link   
Once there was a smile, a glance of acceptance over flaws now there is longing for the lost embrace, the laughter, a knowing joy the anticipation of connection. Now there is the cold damp wind of reality which was held off with all manor of futile distractions.

Once there was a field, a place of clandestine rendezvous to steal a moment in time. It was ours before there were others when one plus one equaled one. The intrusive crushing realization that all is broken and dances. Cool Jeweled evenings of our past play like reruns on a broken screen of despair.

Once there was understanding and willingness now the image in the mirror is unknown and unrecognizable even to ourselves. Lost and alone in a forest of friends. There is a whisper. 'You are not truly alone' Somewhere in time it has begun all over again.

Do you remember me?




posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 01:05 PM
link   
nope...
2nd line right?



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 01:12 PM
link   
reply to post by SLAYER69
 


Nice job, buddy!


Bittersweet.

SnF



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 01:22 PM
link   

Originally posted by steve95988
nope...
2nd line right?



Right.



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 01:23 PM
link   

Originally posted by beezzer
Nice job, buddy!


Bittersweet.

SnF



I appreciate the nod.
Good luck



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 02:41 PM
link   
reply to post by SLAYER69
 


As always Slayer! Great work! Its nice to come back and see some of the older core members still at it here!
Well written my friend! SnF from me good sir.


This could have a few different meanings.. Depending on who reads it, and where they are at in their lives..
This is the hallmark of a gifted writer
edit on 1-11-2012 by zysin5 because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 02:50 PM
link   
reply to post by SLAYER69
 


Slayer, could you explain what you said in a few sentences, I don't really get it



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 02:57 PM
link   
reply to post by Jauk3
 


A Lost love

Someone in repose remembering better times as being a couple with that love and being tempered by the fact that it's all in the unrecoverable past while being consoled that somewhere in time those two are meeting for the very first time....

A perspective of mine

edit on 1-11-2012 by SLAYER69 because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 03:39 PM
link   
reply to post by SLAYER69
 


I really liked this story Slayer...star and flag for you!



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 03:43 PM
link   

Originally posted by SLAYER69
Once there was a smile, a glance of acceptance over flaws now there is longing for the lost embrace, the laughter, a knowing joy the anticipation of connection. Now there is the cold damp wind of reality which was held off with all manor of futile distractions.

Once there was a field, a place of clandestine rendezvous to steal a moment in time. It was ours before there were others when one plus one equaled one. The intrusive crushing realization that all is broken and dances. Cool Jeweled evenings of our past play like reruns on a broken screen of despair.

Once there was understanding and willingness now the image in the mirror is unknown and unrecognizable even to ourselves. Lost and alone in a forest of friends. There is a whisper. 'You are not truly alone' Somewhere in time it has begun all over again.

Do you remember me?


You Slay me. Brilliant!
edit on 1-11-2012 by Sissel because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 03:44 PM
link   
Well written SLAYER.Very poignant.



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 04:09 PM
link   
reply to post by mamabeth
 


I actually wrote a much better longer version of that many moons ago to somebody special

This is a horribly watered down version due to too much time having passed
edit on 1-11-2012 by SLAYER69 because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 04:51 PM
link   
reply to post by zysin5
 


Talk about a blast from the past.
Great contribution by the way.



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 04:54 PM
link   

Originally posted by zysin5
This could have a few different meanings.. Depending on who reads it, and where they are at in their lives..
This is the hallmark of a gifted writer



I'm sorry I had your unedited reply open in another tab. Didn't see this edit.
Thank you I appreciate the feedback.


When I was writing {Based on an old one I once wrote I was hoping for that}



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 05:08 PM
link   

Originally posted by AgentX09
Well written SLAYER.Very poignant.



Thank you for the feedback,



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 06:37 PM
link   
reply to post by SLAYER69
 


Reminds me of Adam and Eve, the way things used to be. The best prose can be interpreted many ways, as you so carefully show us.

Well done. Flagged.

I can remember the innocence of love, yes.



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 07:11 PM
link   
reply to post by Druid42
 


I'm happy members are getting many different things out of it .

The feedback is appreciated.



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 09:08 PM
link   
reply to post by SLAYER69
 


What it said to me...the blush may be gone from the rose. But, the rose never died....

S&F

Des



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 09:11 PM
link   
Wonderfully written! You're a talented wordsmith.



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 09:20 PM
link   
reply to post by imawlinn
 


Thank you.

Side note: imawlinn

I really do appreciate your contributed poem very much.






top topics



 
19
<<   2 >>

log in

join