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Asphalt Dance

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posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 10:47 PM
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reply to post by Destinyone
 


Thanks Des!

Since poetry really isn't my forte', I had to put a beat to it. Glad you liked it.




posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 10:49 PM
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Originally posted by TheOtter
Fantastic. When read aloud it has bits that have the rhythm and measure of a song and others that seem abrupt and clipped short... Much like the lady dancer in the poem. S&F. Did you create it just for this contest, or was it another work you had already had and it fit the bill?


This stemmed from a previous attempt to write poetry, something just clicked and I was able to flesh this out.

I guess ATS brings the creative out in me.


Thanks for reading it.



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 10:50 PM
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Originally posted by Druid42
reply to post by beezzer
 


That was a bit dark, but it had a smooth flow to it.

Remind me never to be your GF and break up with you. I already know the outcome.

Flagged.


Thanks, Druid. Always appreciate your comments!



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 10:52 PM
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Originally posted by Habit4ming
That was a tad beyond dysfunctional, you bad bunny, you!

It seems ATS is blessed with many a fine writer, many a poet's heart...
Star for you...


Thank you for taking the time to read it. And yes, ATS has a HUGE number of great writers.



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 10:54 PM
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reply to post by Xzorter
 


ATS has a virtual library of great stories. Thanks for taking the time to read mine.



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 10:56 PM
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Originally posted by hangedman13
Never imagined a bunny could be so twisted
That was a interesting read beez!



Thanks! It's always fun to take the occasional trip down the dark side!



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 10:57 PM
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reply to post by beezzer
 


wow beezer.

I had to reread the poem. What I read the first time was "red shoes went flying, blond hair colored the night.
I though she got undressed and her hair was in your face.......AHEM.
Well you can tell where my mind is.
Quad



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 10:59 PM
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Originally posted by TheOtter
I've been reading all of the other submissions, but I keep coming back to this one! I was a crash reconstructionist for 2 years, so I'm a little biased, I tend to be drawn towards this kind of art. You definetly have the most compelling and intriguing title so far. I just love the whole piece. Wish I could give another S&F.
edit on 11/1/2012 by TheOtter because: Correcting good old autocorrect


I appreciate that. Coming from an artist, I'm glad that it can have that kind of impact.



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 11:00 PM
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Originally posted by cultureboxes
The things they put on the back of cereal boxes these days.
Does it come with a maze and a cute cutout of an animal shaped like a fruit?


I'd hate to imagine the kind of cereal this would have on the back!



posted on Nov, 1 2012 @ 11:01 PM
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Originally posted by Quadrivium
reply to post by beezzer
 


wow beezer.

I had to reread the poem. What I read the first time was "red shoes went flying, blond hair colored the night.
I though she got undressed and her hair was in your face.......AHEM.
Well you can tell where my mind is.
Quad


Probably in a better place than mine when I wrote it.


Thanks for reading it!



posted on Nov, 2 2012 @ 03:13 AM
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reply to post by beezzer
 





posted on Nov, 2 2012 @ 03:17 AM
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Originally posted by MidnightSunshine
reply to post by beezzer
 




Thank you!


You did well yourself!



posted on Nov, 2 2012 @ 03:22 AM
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reply to post by beezzer
 


It hurts so much when people let you down.

Sometimes it hurts more than others.



posted on Nov, 2 2012 @ 05:35 AM
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Ha ha, a fun read



posted on Nov, 2 2012 @ 06:39 AM
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Originally posted by MsAphrodite
reply to post by beezzer
 


It hurts so much when people let you down.

Sometimes it hurts more than others.


You're looking for a motive!

Sometimes, bad guys are bad guys, just looking for a dance. . . . . . . .



posted on Nov, 2 2012 @ 06:40 AM
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reply to post by tiggytoomb
 


Thanks for reading it!



posted on Nov, 3 2012 @ 08:36 PM
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reply to post by beezzer
 


Beezzer............that was quite the dance not easily forgotten.

I love what this thread is bringing out in us all.



posted on Nov, 4 2012 @ 01:57 PM
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Originally posted by Egyptia
reply to post by beezzer
 


Beezzer............that was quite the dance not easily forgotten.

I love what this thread is bringing out in us all.


Nor was it meant to.

Thanks for reading it.



posted on Nov, 5 2012 @ 01:54 PM
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beezzer
I liked this it was very twisted and dark right up my alley well done..peace,sugarcookie S&F



posted on Nov, 5 2012 @ 01:56 PM
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Originally posted by sugarcookie1
beezzer
I liked this it was very twisted and dark right up my alley well done..peace,sugarcookie S&F


Thank you. I was going for "dark and twisted"!


Thanks for reading it.





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