Asphalt Dance

Asphalt Dance
By beezzer

Went looking for my partner,
my dancer tonight
Lights blazing
Folding back the night.

Every night spent looking
for that special dance
A touch A kiss
A second chance

I see her walking
Nearing the street
Music starts playing
A reggae beat

My wheels spin right
Headlights shining
We meet We kiss!
Sirens soon whining.

She’s beautiful, Graceful
A sparrow in flight.
A shoe goes flying
Blood colours the night.

Our Dance soon over
I leave the floor
Driving down Main Street
Looking for more.

A shoe goes flying Blood colours the night.

This bit confuses me.

Is she dead?

reply to post by Wide-Eyes


It's when he hits her with his car.

Originally posted by beezzer
reply to post by Wide-Eyes

 

It's when he hits her with his car.

I guessed as much. You're one sick bunny!

Originally posted by Wide-Eyes

Originally posted by beezzer
reply to post by Wide-Eyes

 

It's when he hits her with his car.

I guessed as much. You're one sick bunny!

Thanks!

Writing brings out my inner bunny-demon!

S & F


I thought you said in the other thread this was going to be about a 'dysfunctional relationship' ?


I guess that's a pretty dysfunctional way to have a relationship

reply to post by SLAYER69


Did I understate too much?

Thanks for reading it!

reply to post by SLAYER69


I was about to say that.

I was just pulling the post from the announcement thread!

I have one, my only attempt at poetry. It contains a disfunctional aspect of relationships. Would that be appropriate?

Good entry anyway Beezzer.

I read this a bit like a rock anthem,

good to see the evil bunny is never too far away...

S&F.

Originally posted by 74Templar
I read this a bit like a rock anthem,

good to see the evil bunny is never too far away...

S&F.

Thanks for taking the time! (Now get some sleep!)

Very interesting bunny! Great first poem!
I can say it may be a little twisted, but I am one to enjoy these kinds of things.
S-n-F for a show of my support.

reply to post by zysin5
Thanks for taking the time to read it.

A song...it needs to be recorded with music...epic angst with a twist. And, what a twist it is....

Good showing Beez....

Des

Fantastic. When read aloud it has bits that have the rhythm and measure of a song and others that seem abrupt and clipped short... Much like the lady dancer in the poem. S&F. Did you create it just for this contest, or was it another work you had already had and it fit the bill?

reply to post by beezzer


That was a bit dark, but it had a smooth flow to it.

Remind me never to be your GF and break up with you. I already know the outcome.

Flagged.

That was a tad beyond dysfunctional, you bad bunny, you!
It seems ATS is blessed with many a fine writer, many a poet's heart...
Star for you...

There is no dought in my opinion you have talent !
I will read more stuff since I just discovered this section of ATS.
Carry on.

Never imagined a bunny could be so twisted That was a interesting read beez!

I've been reading all of the other submissions, but I keep coming back to this one! I was a crash reconstructionist for 2 years, so I'm a little biased, I tend to be drawn towards this kind of art. You definetly have the most compelling and intriguing title so far. I just love the whole piece. Wish I could give another S&F.