posted on Oct, 31 2012 @ 05:53 PM
I hope this is the right place it made sense to put it in here, if its not place it where it should bests fits.
This is something i wrote this morning and since changed and reread a couple of times the basis is about how i got conditioned by society and my
breaking free of those rules. This all happend in my 23 years of age alot has happend in that time and i dont feel the need to make this a biography.
These are some insights i gained from the two years of learning and shaping my current believes and outlook.
Before you realy start the reading dont take it litterly the way it written is the way i was best able to explain the things going on.
We as a species get conditioned by society and ourselfs to go by a certain set of rules, rules are inplace to make society work. With so many people
and so many choices to make its hard to keep everybody in check. It truely is the best long con of all times(i dont like it but give credit where
credit is due). If you dont fit in you get isolated and if you isolate someone long enough they will break its only a matter of time. When you finally
break someone you will find they adapt quite fast and do most of the programming themselfs because, they know preciesly what they are doing wrong so
are able to chance that behaviour faster. Sound to good to be true and it is. The brought in conditions can block out all that should not be their in
societies eyes but never completly. And conditions may soon be doubted again and the cycle starts all over. This is different from people that dont
question the conditions as they might not see them as something wrong. And go about their daylives as if nothing is wrong.
This is going to be tale of my wrong doing at a younger age and what i have learned since.I didnt realy fit in with society it felt weird something to
stay away from something wrong nothing. Mostly i was in my own world they one in my head where things where different. As you might have guessed
allready with this also came the isolation and as always it was just a matter of time before it got to me. So finaly the rules came in and stayed
their for the better part of my childhood and teen years. With this came for me also a great darkness and evil. So now their are two sides to me. The
fun and loving and the mean and spitefull and I did realy speak in two tongues. This lasted till about two years back where their was going to be only
room for one of the sides. And being mostly the mean and spitefull it seemed to go this way, untill i thought that the conditions that are in play
might be the cause of this double side to me. I remembered a time where it wasnt always so and started to look back thru my childhood to see where it
had changed. Am not sure what was the breaking point hopefully it will come back to me. More importantly i figured what was the cause of these two
sides. Dont get me wrong this is a time taking process and always ongoing. I spend those two years learning, reading alterative meadia, reading into
the spiritual and I held a mirror to see my own behaviour Trying to connected the dots with all the new information coming in. Sometimes this wears me
out and brings me down but when the new dots get connected its always worth it.
The reason am sharing this with you all is hopefully gain some knowledge. What i learned in these two years are a few simple but effective things.
Treat others like you want to be treated. Its simple but effective if you look into a mirror and you hear or see things you dont wat to hear or see.
How is somebody else to like supposed to like them? This for me is the constent fight between my two sides take out the bad and bring in the good
Less is more. Once you are able to spent more time with your self and need less to destract you. You will soon find out you have gained alot more you
have gained knowledge. And with knowledge comes wisdom from wisdom you get understanding and that is the key to everything there is. When you
understand why somebody does something you can learn from it and gain some knowledge.
Sharing is careing. Another old one but also very true i have found since i needed less i had more to give to others. Which is the ultimate win win
because now good gets spread. You make someone feel good and they in turn make someone feel good at the current times something like that can touch
alot of people over the world in a short period of time.
Time heals everything.Thru my own experience i have found that things might seem bad and grim. Their is however always a solution this solution might
take time. Things realy dont change overnight.
Take time for your self. A big one also the most important one. Everything starts and ends with yourself. Only when you are happy can you make
somebody else happy to. When you are down you might bring them down with you. So find what you like and take the time to do it watch that you dont
hurt others with what you are doing.
Now I realize what it is I did at that young age i programmed my self to get by. To at a stage in my life where i was able to lose them and still go
by my normal life. Without the isolation i can almost hear you think that is something way over a kids heads to plan. I agree but it does make sense
to me without the darkness the good in me wouldnt have been able to go thru the years. And would have proberly led to a point where their was no
choice just darkness. Now their was a choice and its not the darkness that prevailed that side only knew pain when the good came it was pure and
There are still two sides to me but now am in the drivers seat the path to take is mine to choose and so are my passangers. My car my rules.
This is for me the true struggle the between good and evil its not above or below me it is within me.