The start and end is you

I hope this is the right place it made sense to put it in here, if its not place it where it should bests fits.

This is something i wrote this morning and since changed and reread a couple of times the basis is about how i got conditioned by society and my breaking free of those rules. This all happend in my 23 years of age alot has happend in that time and i dont feel the need to make this a biography. These are some insights i gained from the two years of learning and shaping my current believes and outlook.

Before you realy start the reading dont take it litterly the way it written is the way i was best able to explain the things going on.

We as a species get conditioned by society and ourselfs to go by a certain set of rules, rules are inplace to make society work. With so many people and so many choices to make its hard to keep everybody in check. It truely is the best long con of all times(i dont like it but give credit where credit is due). If you dont fit in you get isolated and if you isolate someone long enough they will break its only a matter of time. When you finally break someone you will find they adapt quite fast and do most of the programming themselfs because, they know preciesly what they are doing wrong so are able to chance that behaviour faster. Sound to good to be true and it is. The brought in conditions can block out all that should not be their in societies eyes but never completly. And conditions may soon be doubted again and the cycle starts all over. This is different from people that dont question the conditions as they might not see them as something wrong. And go about their daylives as if nothing is wrong.

This is going to be tale of my wrong doing at a younger age and what i have learned since.I didnt realy fit in with society it felt weird something to stay away from something wrong nothing. Mostly i was in my own world they one in my head where things where different. As you might have guessed allready with this also came the isolation and as always it was just a matter of time before it got to me. So finaly the rules came in and stayed their for the better part of my childhood and teen years. With this came for me also a great darkness and evil. So now their are two sides to me. The fun and loving and the mean and spitefull and I did realy speak in two tongues. This lasted till about two years back where their was going to be only room for one of the sides. And being mostly the mean and spitefull it seemed to go this way, untill i thought that the conditions that are in play might be the cause of this double side to me. I remembered a time where it wasnt always so and started to look back thru my childhood to see where it had changed. Am not sure what was the breaking point hopefully it will come back to me. More importantly i figured what was the cause of these two sides. Dont get me wrong this is a time taking process and always ongoing. I spend those two years learning, reading alterative meadia, reading into the spiritual and I held a mirror to see my own behaviour Trying to connected the dots with all the new information coming in. Sometimes this wears me out and brings me down but when the new dots get connected its always worth it.

The reason am sharing this with you all is hopefully gain some knowledge. What i learned in these two years are a few simple but effective things.

Treat others like you want to be treated. Its simple but effective if you look into a mirror and you hear or see things you dont wat to hear or see. How is somebody else to like supposed to like them? This for me is the constent fight between my two sides take out the bad and bring in the good where needed.

Less is more. Once you are able to spent more time with your self and need less to destract you. You will soon find out you have gained alot more you have gained knowledge. And with knowledge comes wisdom from wisdom you get understanding and that is the key to everything there is. When you understand why somebody does something you can learn from it and gain some knowledge.

Sharing is careing. Another old one but also very true i have found since i needed less i had more to give to others. Which is the ultimate win win because now good gets spread. You make someone feel good and they in turn make someone feel good at the current times something like that can touch alot of people over the world in a short period of time.

Time heals everything.Thru my own experience i have found that things might seem bad and grim. Their is however always a solution this solution might take time. Things realy dont change overnight.


Take time for your self. A big one also the most important one. Everything starts and ends with yourself. Only when you are happy can you make somebody else happy to. When you are down you might bring them down with you. So find what you like and take the time to do it watch that you dont hurt others with what you are doing.

Now I realize what it is I did at that young age i programmed my self to get by. To at a stage in my life where i was able to lose them and still go by my normal life. Without the isolation i can almost hear you think that is something way over a kids heads to plan. I agree but it does make sense to me without the darkness the good in me wouldnt have been able to go thru the years. And would have proberly led to a point where their was no choice just darkness. Now their was a choice and its not the darkness that prevailed that side only knew pain when the good came it was pure and unhurt.
There are still two sides to me but now am in the drivers seat the path to take is mine to choose and so are my passangers. My car my rules.

This is for me the true struggle the between good and evil its not above or below me it is within me.

reply to post by Donice


That was the best thing I've read all week, Donice.

reply to post by trysts


Thank you, am glad you liked it

reply to post by Donice
Thank you

Your very smart

reply to post by Donice


If you are an indication of your youth, then there is much hope and love and things are going to change in all our futures.

That was brilliant, to know so much about yourself now, imagine where you will be later. Good on ya!


Thank you for sharing x

Thank you all for the wonderfull replies, am realy glad to hear you all like it.

reply to post by AussieAmandaC


I agree if this is what happens to most people i can only see a bright and sunny future for us all. It may sound a bit corny but seeing where i came from and where i am now big chances realy are possible.
I hope my brain keeps on comming with these insights, and keeps on playing connect the dots with the information in their and when it does. ill be writting them down and posting them.

reply to post by Donice



Very deep insights and it is funny because i went through a similar life and got the same insights just a couple days ago. there are no coincedences my friend, the darkness you experienced are invaluable.And as the road ahead is lit up now we can truelly live from the heart. The momentum is changing in the world and we are that change.

in Numerology im two times an 8 (birthdate and name)in in my lifes journey untill now ,it really symbolises this type of journey. Also scorpio symbolises this (death and rebirth) with Saggitarius (lightbringer) as the place after rebirth. Which in my case is my ascendant (rising sun) scorpio right on the cusp with saggitarius which is also the center of the galaxy.

May I ask what your numerolgy number and starsign is?


THanks for Sharing your insights..


Senser

reply to post by Senser


I agree their are no coincidences everything happens for a reason. and so did me writing this article, your response is making me look into numberology, and it shows us both that we might well be on the right track.

I have seen through the darkness to undertand the value of light.

a line taken from the song Renewal from dimmu borgir, seems to me very fitting of what i spoke about.

i havent read much into numberology as of yet, maybe time to start doing that.
both birthday and name lead to the number 9, fun fact all the letters in my first name correspond to a 5 or 9 curious if this aswell is something to look into.

my zodiac sign is aqaurius still in the cusp of capricorn, and in the chinese zodiac am a dragon.

reply to post by Donice


Very interesting,,Nines are really powerfull creators. eights and nines are the creator numbers but on a diffrent level. I was reading a post on ATS about the movie ``the nines` its about a creator god who incarnates on earth.
You should look it up and might give you some clues and insights. Seems like a very good movie in any case

All the information you come across, be it in movies.songs or rticles. they all contain clues about who we really are. The more you recognise, the more you will see and the syncroniisties wiill speed up.

You have very powerful numerology an astrolgy signs, you are most likely are a very expeienced soul.


Good luck on your journey..

reply to post by Senser


Yeah i saw it come by aswell didnt pay attention to it tho after your post i went and seen the movie, its awesome i dont know what to say realy its a wonderfull movie.

I was thinking of a reply earlier today and was just thinking about it again and it just hit me, even when i wasnt aware of it untill now. Most of the weeks i had 3 the same things happening things like comming back from school at a certain time 3 times a week. Minor stuff that doesnt affect you in any way but sticks out enough to notice, so much i still remember it years later. This happend even when i wasnt paying attention to it, which made me think off "god is always with you" and right after that the song forever yours from nightwish comes on on my ipod. its more the title then the song itself.

Thank you, I learned some cool things from your posts.
Good luck and have fun on your travels.