Nervous talking to authority and talking on the phone

I'm curious what you guys have to say about this kind of social reaction? I have always felt very uncomfortable when I am around authority or I have to speak to authority (I mean people who I perceive as higher than me in the social heirarchy whether real or imagined). This is my biggest flaw as an employee. I have trouble speaking to my bosses in an easy going straight forward manner and I end up coming off awkward and overly nervous I think; even when there is nothing to be nervous about.

Somehow I feel like a boss or an authority figure (such as an MD in a hospital or a Judge in a court setting) will be judging me and reporting on my behavior in every single conversation. I realize logically, that they are just people too and that they primarily care about themselves first and foremost so I should not worry so much. But logic doesn't always win.

My mind goes blank, I find myself listening to myself speaking and judging every word that comes out of my mouth instead of just letting them flow freely. Doing this to myself tangles up my thought processes and I begin to get nervous. I get a little hot and shaky as the dose of noepinephrine and adrenaline hits my system. My Lizard brain thinks I am in some sort of danger and it begins to override my higher mind. I become a lot dumber than I really am.

Caffeine helps me in these situations simply by giving me more energy to dominate the conversation, thereby making me more comfortable by virtue of my Lizard brain thinking I am the leader and I am safe.

Alcohol helps me speak to authority as well in that it makes me very easy going and I do not turn back on myself and judge myself as I am speaking. My thoughts and words just flow more freely.

I would really appreciate some analysis of what you think might be going on, and also any advice you might have to help overcome this problem. Also, similar stories are welcome so I will feel less like a freak and failure in the social arena.

You are neither a freak or a failure. You like most humans second guess yourself. Somewhere along the line you believed that others are more important than yourself which in turn leads to feelings of inferiority. You have to tell yourself and start believing that you are just as important as anyone else. Not because of your profession, religion, political affiliation or your financial holdings. Stop believing the these things makeup who you really are.

We are our own worst enemy. We criticize ourselves as no one else can. When that is not enough we perceive others to be feeling the same way about us. The only way to counter this is to remind yourself always that you are a valuable human being, and you are. Eckhart Tolle wrote a great book called New Earth Awakening, in it he explains just how the ego leads us down the path of self-discrimination, you might want to check it out. I read it years ago and found it to be really quite enlightening about human behavior and our ego.

Good news and bad news, but overall good news

Two reasons why

by use of mercury in vaccine or bad food or water or other kinds of pollutants, drugs,
meds etc. You are partially damaged, like a partial autism.

It could even be psychological damage during childhood, bad school, bad peers,
low self esteem. Judgmental parents, parents not knowledgable enough to raise
you emotionally, not just physically.

NOW THE GOOD NEWS

You can definitely mentally win over your blocks, different forms of anxiety and other
problems.

Spend every day realizing that you live in shiiit society, predatory society, take the
truth and own it, realize that you will eventually die physically, and so will everyone
else, spend every day realizing that most other people ALSO suffer, and half of them
don't even know they live in hell suffering.

Don't try to cover up the reality, open your eyes and take a good long look at the
mess our so called civilization is. Look into eyes of new born baby and think just
what the poor thing is gonna get in life, 99% likely just suffering.

Once you realize that this life is some kind of punishment for most of us, and that
the goal is to suffer so that when you are spirit you will look at it and say

"holy shiiit I don't wanna go back to live on that cesspool again"

WHEN ALL THAT FITS INTO YOUR VIEW OF THIS REALITY

your mental blocks, or anxieties will disappear

In other words, when you have suffered enough (like me) you won't be afraid of
any damn authority on this miserable war planet.

I understand where you’re coming from. It takes a while for me to warm up to anybody new. But just be yourself and treat people as you would like to be treated. I've had bosses that I thought were awesome and others that I didn't care for all that much. Then you get bosses that think that just because their on a higher salary level then you, they think their automatically better then you. These are the people I tend to avoid like the plague. I've met millionaires, captains of industry since I've moved to Alberta. But then again these people were the ones who started their businesses from ground up and they were very nice people. But you do get the ones that think their crap doesn't stink and that you should bow before them. These people are what I call "Douchebags".

I used to have the same problem. However, as I have gotten older, I have had and seen enough bosses and people of "authority" to know that they are just people, no better than I am.

If you are nervous about talking on the phone, I suggest writing down what it is you want to say, and practicing it first before making the call. That way, it's more like reading from a script, and doing some acting, then just having to wing it with the boss.

As far as talking to them in person, the more you do it, the less nervous you'll be. I have learned (the hard way) that showing yourself as nervous and meek makes them treat you poorly. You'll be judged more for being a meek little mouse than you ever would be if you just took a deep breath and said what you needed to say.

I don't recommend alcohol to deal with these situations, because not only will you need more and more of it in order to function socially, but also, if you smell like you've been drinking, you will not get the reception you were hoping for.

You most likely have social anxiety disorder, which is exacerbated by having to deal with people you assume are judging you. Two things to remember are: 1. Their position of authority doesn't make them better than you. They will actually like you better if you take the pressure off them by acting naturally and treating them with more friendliness. They'll pick up on your fear and nervousness, and it will make them uncomfortable.
2. Most people do not think about you as much as you think about yourself. This is a fact. Although every human being makes a cursory judgment about whomever they're talking to, the amount of time it stays in their brain is commiserate with how uncomfortable you make them feel. Be at ease, say what you need to say, and then exit the situation. I guarantee they'll stop thinking about you seconds after you're gone.

I've been in your shoes, and I know how it feels. Thank God I'm older, so that most authority figures I deal with are now younger than me, so I don't feel intimidated any longer.