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Life

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posted on Oct, 30 2012 @ 09:33 PM
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Am I supposed to enjoy this life? Is it normal for me to hate it as much as I do? I spend 99% of my time doing what other people want me to do. Between work and marriage/children, there is no me anymore. I'm a musician/songwriter, but that's not valued by society, so I have to work a stupid job that means nothing as I have been doing my whole life. There will never be a chance for retirement. There will never be time for me. What is the freaking point? I wake up everyday with the dreaded promise of another day of crap. I no longer have the ability to exert any free will. Is this life?




posted on Oct, 30 2012 @ 09:36 PM
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reply to post by notquiteright
 


You could walk away from it all.

Pursue your personal dreams.

But that's a bit selfish isn't it? Considering you've brought kids into the world and have commitments that you must fufill.

You ALWAYS have the choice to rage quite it all and move on with your life.

I would ventuer a guess that if you did though, you'd find life to be a quite more boring and otherwise lonely/miserable without what you now have.

~Tenth



posted on Oct, 30 2012 @ 09:50 PM
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reply to post by notquiteright
 


Welcome to the reality of having children. Once you have kids the ability to feed, clothe and educate them should be the highest priority in your life. From time to time it will feel like an anchor. Just try to find some little thing that makes you happy. then find some way to involve you kids or lady. I have a buddy that loves remote control toys, him and his kids play together constantly ( :

There is always a way to get a small piece of happy if you just try!



posted on Oct, 30 2012 @ 09:53 PM
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reply to post by tothetenthpower
 

I would never walk away from my son, but he isn't the big drain here. I manage a hotel, but am not properly compensated to do so. My wife (for some reason) always has somewhere to be, so when I'm not working, I'm taking care of the kids and house. I work six days a week and am tired on the seventh, and usually am taking care of the kids. I fight to keep the music alive, but the older I get, the less time is available. Since my music doesn't make money, it is not taken seriously, yet my wife keeps getting involved with pyramid scams and fly by night BS and she insists on their importance. They make nothing and she goes to the next. I have been playing/writing music for nearly 25 years, but that takes a back seat to the newest pyramid scam. My job is screwing me hardcore. I work 6 days a week, was supposed to start at 12/hr, and talk about salary after 3 months. They have been paying me 11/hr and 5 months went by with no talk. Finally got the talk, and they said no more money, and oops, sorry about the pay thing, we'll start paying you 12/hr from now on, but no back pay. WTF? I drive an hour to work and an hour back a day. I FEEL a sense of purpose, but the less I get to explore that, the more dead I feel, and the less I want to even get up. And it's not just this job. I have always gotten screwed. I am always doing other peoples bidding for little to nothing. It's just gotten worse over the years and less and less time has been available to me. Last year, I quit my job and was unemployed for a few months. During that time, I wrote some compositions far above anything else I had ever done. A preview of what could be?



posted on Oct, 30 2012 @ 09:55 PM
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I was the same way. I felt like a zombie. I would wake up, eat, go to work, pick up my daughter from daycare, play with her the rest of the day, eat, relax, shower and bed to start it all over again. Honestly I guess one day I decided to wake up. Life will always be hard but life is what you make of it, I want to travel the world and explore amazing things, I'm in school for Aerospace and Astrophysics because I LOVE space and space crafts but I accepted that I wont ever be able to explore space the way I want to, I have my own small business now while I am in school so I have more free time. After my daughter goes to sleep its me time. I stare up at the stars for a couple hours, I play LOL or Halo, sketch space crafts or space hotels, whatever I decide will make me happy. You are a musician, you don't need everyone to like or approve your work. Just play, even if its just for yourself among the walls of your bedroom. Record your songs and upload to youtube of you want to be heard. Find something you can do from home like cleaning houses, landscaping, garage selling (sell the items off on ebay or something) to shorten up the work week. There are so many things you can do, you just have to figure out what will make you happy in the long run.



posted on Oct, 30 2012 @ 09:55 PM
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reply to post by Mamatus
 


I understand you misunderstanding. My son is the reason I keep putting up with the bulls%^t. Not the cause of it.



posted on Oct, 30 2012 @ 09:59 PM
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reply to post by innervision0730
 


I hear you, but I promise, I utilize every spare moment for my music, it's just that even those 5 minutes here and there are disappearing. It's freaking ridiculous. I am not exaggerating when I say no time for me. Not a minute. I don't think this is what life is supposed to be.



posted on Oct, 30 2012 @ 10:04 PM
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www.marxists.org...


It is clear, then, that no Authoritarian Socialism will do. For while under the present system a very large number of people can lead lives of a certain amount of freedom and expression and happiness, under an industrial-barrack system, or a system of economic tyranny, nobody would be able to have any such freedom at all. It is to be regretted that a portion of our community should be practically in slavery, but to propose to solve the problem by enslaving the entire community is childish. Every man must be left quite free to choose his own work. No form of compulsion must be exercised over him. If there is, his work will not be good for him, will not be good in itself, and will not be good for others. And by work I simply mean activity of any kind.


Your op made me think of this essay by Oscar Wilde.

Socialism is the answer. Its coming.



posted on Oct, 30 2012 @ 10:13 PM
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reply to post by GaiusMarius
 


I have no idea how you came to this conclusion, but socialism sounds like the opposite of my problem, or slightly to the other side of it. Maybe the underside, hell, I don't know, but I guess that's because I don't know what it has to do with any of it. See, here's the thing:

We are born into a system. We do not have a choice to participate or not. We are obligated to participate. If we do not like this system, we can possibly leave and go somewhere else, but must conform to their system. Every bit of land on Earth is "owned". There is no escape. We are born slaves and cannot escape. Socialism, Capitalism, FUism, whatever, doesn't make a sh*t of difference. We have no real choice. There is little to no free will available to any of us, especially me.



posted on Oct, 30 2012 @ 10:16 PM
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Life can be made much less painful by ensuring you dont go to places where your not wanted.



posted on Oct, 30 2012 @ 10:17 PM
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Originally posted by AthlonSavage
Life can be made much less painful by ensuring you dont go to places where your not wanted.


Crap, I think that happened when I was born!



posted on Oct, 30 2012 @ 10:20 PM
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Originally posted by notquiteright
I'm a musician/songwriter, but that's not valued by society...



I think its more accurate to say these things are indeed valued by society, but its just that there is a huge glut / oversupply in the marketplace.

Much like artists. Sure a lot of art gets sold, but not to the extent that it would ever employ the multitudes that would be artists.

Same with motor racing drivers. Same with golfers. Same with astronomers.

There's just too many.



posted on Oct, 30 2012 @ 10:21 PM
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reply to post by notquiteright
 


You could always sell the wife, take the money and go do something fun with your son! You have to forgive me as I have a hard time relating. At 47 I have managed to avoid both kids and a wife


I would recommend working on a plan to escape the hotel. Not getting paid for what your doing sucks. Try to find some small side business with growth potential. One does not have to stay a wage slave forever with a bit of ingenuity.



posted on Oct, 30 2012 @ 10:23 PM
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Originally posted by notquiteright
reply to post by GaiusMarius
 


I have no idea how you came to this conclusion, but socialism sounds like the opposite of my problem, or slightly to the other side of it. Maybe the underside, hell, I don't know, but I guess that's because I don't know what it has to do with any of it. See, here's the thing:

We are born into a system. We do not have a choice to participate or not. We are obligated to participate. If we do not like this system, we can possibly leave and go somewhere else, but must conform to their system. Every bit of land on Earth is "owned". There is no escape. We are born slaves and cannot escape. Socialism, Capitalism, FUism, whatever, doesn't make a sh*t of difference. We have no real choice. There is little to no free will available to any of us, especially me.


I wonder what you are complaining about then. You should suck it up if you are not willing to seek something better.

Under Oscar Wilde style socialism you would be valued for the things that you enjoy and free to pursue them. The essay is about being an individual and how it is only possible under socialism.



posted on Oct, 30 2012 @ 10:32 PM
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Originally posted by alfa1

Originally posted by notquiteright
I'm a musician/songwriter, but that's not valued by society...



I think its more accurate to say these things are indeed valued by society, but its just that there is a huge glut / oversupply in the marketplace.

Much like artists. Sure a lot of art gets sold, but not to the extent that it would ever employ the multitudes that would be artists.

Same with motor racing drivers. Same with golfers. Same with astronomers.

There's just too many.


While I semi-agree/understand with what you are saying, I would counter to say that because the music business operates as a sort of lottery, it attracts many who would not otherwise get involved. I do not care about "making it" or getting rich. I just want time to do it. I don't have that. In fact, during my writing this. my wife just came and yelled at me because since i was in here, my son came in here, and she yelled at me for not bringing him back to bed. Simply writing that I don't have any time was beyond the time I was allotted. Now, she's mad. Great.



posted on Oct, 30 2012 @ 10:35 PM
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reply to post by Mamatus
 


Trust me, even if I take a pay cut, this hotel has lost me. But it will be the same BS with the next job, nobody gives a sh*t anymore.



posted on Oct, 30 2012 @ 10:38 PM
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And yes people, it could just be me. I didn't rule that out with the OP. Maybe I'm just F&cked up in the head and this is all perfectly acceptable. It doesn't feel right to me.



posted on Oct, 31 2012 @ 12:39 AM
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reply to post by notquiteright
 


Let me join your pity party.

I will begin by saying, someone else has it worse. That doesn't make it better, I know. It is just a fact. The reality of it is, for 99% of people, life sucks. For the other 1%, they either obtained what they wanted in life, are working towards obtaining what they want, or simply don't care one way or the other.

I feel like you, but when I read your story I envy you. You have a full time job. You have multiple kids. You have a talent/skill. I wish I had those things. I could tell you more and trump your situation, and somewhere someone could easily trump mine.

I honestly think if hell exists, this is it. It's not some place of constant physical torture, but a place where the carrot is always dangled just out of reach. A place where we must live with seeing the options, the answers, the opportunities, the goals everywhere but in our own lives. One big pavlovian mind-f#*#.

All we can do, is do our best. Meet our obligations and responsibilities. Ideally try to improve the world around us, but with life what it is, its hard to really have the energy or empathy to do that now. I think we have to try and master becoming detached from hope and any ideals we have. Instead we must look at every aspect of life as a simple minded person, where everything is a serious of obstacles and challenges we take one-by-one. We either complete each task or move on.


edit on 31-10-2012 by Wolf321 because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 31 2012 @ 12:43 AM
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reply to post by notquiteright
 


What does your wife do? I think everyone needs a little time to themselves, even Moms and Dads. I know how you feel though. I work part time my husband full time. The only time he has to take care of kids is when I'm at work a few nights a week or at a doctors appointment once or twice a year. I could make up reasons not to be here, but that's not me.

Hope you;re ok



posted on Oct, 31 2012 @ 09:20 AM
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Thanks for reading (maybe it should have gone in rant). I'm just frustrated and needed to vent. I think I made a mistake in taking this job. Finding another one will probably help to improve my situation.




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