I am relieved to find out she is ok, good news.

It seems that now you have returned to being a nurse again. While this is absolutely noble and I wish there was an ATS prize to give, I cannot help but notice:

1)You have a 12 year old sick daughter (conducive to poltergeist activity).
2)Your sick grandmother died.
3)You must obviously be exhausted on all levels (conducive to laving an openning for something malevolent to feed of off).
4)Deadbeat brother.

I'm sure you would rather have eaten sh*& than have had to go through this.

Whatever this thing is it feeds off the pain you are all feeling. When you smoke do you talk to yourself? Do you get more depressed? Is that your alone time? I ask because it seems that the "thing" opens up whn you light up.
If the energy there is causing the phantasm or if it is a genuine phantasm, it is important to be positive as you already know.

You have so much on your plate so to speak. If you let a sceptic tank overflow, flies will come. It is the same with the soul unless your being tested by the Divine (I hope its real).

Update:
My life here has turned more positive, as I have not entertained the negative feelings and energy anymore that I had in the recent past. With my meditations, prayers and positive thinking, I have changed all the bad things that were happening.
I had to make my brother move out, which changed the environment here instantly. It was like he wanted to leave anyway, and I think all my praying and meditation drove him out of here. He went into a rage one one night, and I calmly said he had to leave because I wont with live like this anymore.
I had my car fixed that week, and am now able to seek employment and do things have not been able to do in so long..Freedom is awesome! My girls and I are doing great, no more sightings of unexplained things have happened in quite a while.
God did help...and just in time. I thank him everyday now, for what I have and for what I dont have.

I'm glad things changed for you in a positive way.

Thanks for the update.

Best of luck!

(Don't forget to change the locks)