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My Husband the Genius

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posted on Oct, 29 2012 @ 01:27 AM
Sew funny, had me in stitches.
And a big plus is that you knit a good yarn.

Thanks for telling that story.

posted on Oct, 29 2012 @ 04:23 AM
Thank you for making my day.
I don't have much to smile about lately...

posted on Oct, 29 2012 @ 07:20 AM

Originally posted by smyleegrl
Okay, ATS.

It's almost Halloween, and my son wants to be a magician. So I decide to buy a pattern and make him a cape. Simple enough, right?

Except I can't sew. I'm trying to learn, and the only teacher I have is simply trial and error. Mostly, error. I mean, it took me two freakin' months just to figure out how to thread the sewing machine.

Now, this pattern I purchased was a Simplicity pattern. Lies, lies, lies! You need an engineering degree just to be able to read the pattern, much less actually construct something from it. I must have studied that pattern for hours...then decided to bite the bullet and start cutting.

The pattern called for black felt, but that wasn't enough for me. No, I wanted it in a heavier fabric with a red lining. So I sewed a red fabric to the black fabric....and realized I'd stitched the head hole shut.

So my husband comes into the room whilst I'm cutting open the head hole and swearing like a sailor. He asks how I'm doing and I tell him what idiotic mistake I just made. Which is when he bursts out laughing and tells me that capes don't have head holes.

Oh, dear Lord in Heaven.

So now I've spent about ten hours on this stupid cape, probably thirty bucks in fabric, and I decided ten minutes ago to just give up and buy the el cheapo cape at the Halloween store. So I call my husband into the room to tell him will have to buy a cape.

At which point he let me know he'd already bought one a week ago...just in case.

LOL... awesome!

Don't despair though... you could probably count on one hand how many people here know how to sew. The very fact that you even tried to make a costume in the first place just shows that your son's got a damn fine Mum who actually cares... many kids don't!

posted on Oct, 29 2012 @ 07:23 AM

Originally posted by Destinyone
reply to post by smyleegrl

Take one of your husband's black suit coats. Cut off both arms at the shoulders, Sew arm holes shut...viola...cape for Son...


That's what I'd do...Or just buy a black cheapo bed sheet and doctor that. I actually managed to knock up a brill penguin nun habit from one black and one white sheet in one night. Must have been good enough, everyone wanted to borrow it after.
edit on 29-10-2012 by Suspiria because: (no reason given)

posted on Oct, 29 2012 @ 07:47 AM
Mmm, I wonder if he's always had his little cape, practicing his magic tricks when you're away?
Maybe he thought this was as good a time as any to pass the torch and earn a star/flag for the day at the same time?
Very funny either way!

posted on Oct, 29 2012 @ 08:26 AM
My son got a magic tricks kit for Christmas last year. It came with a hat, a wand, and easy illusions. He's played with it religiously, so I really wanted to make him a quality cape that would last. He's asking for more tricks for Christmas.

So maybe I will try again.....further updates as warranted.

posted on Oct, 29 2012 @ 09:05 AM
reply to post by smyleegrl

You being a teacher, i think you can appreciate this. Plus, i can never tell her personally thanks.

My third grade teacher Mrs. Howard was the teacher. The one that impacted my life positively. And she made everyone in class learn how to sew, lol! Said we would thank her one day. And I have!

Drove myself insane making a kimono looking dress last yr. Made my girl a geisha.... But she cried all the make-up off before we left the house

Keep trying, you will get it!

posted on Oct, 29 2012 @ 09:42 AM
Wow guess this is why my wife calls me odd. I always thought it was easy to do, but everyone in my family can do it as far as I know so sewing seemed normal to me. I remember making my own dress shirt patterns and sewing jackets without a pattern. Both didn't turn out very well the first time, at least by my standards but I was told they where very good.

Well if your hard set on making him a cape and have any questions just let me know.

posted on Oct, 29 2012 @ 09:53 AM
reply to post by smyleegrl

No need to feel bad.....I can't sew either, once when I was a kid in the Brownies (that's right laught it up), I earnt a badge, and thought I would sew it onto my dress myself.

It was an absolute success.....I even managed to sew it to the sleeve of my dress too !

Top cape making tip.....Bin bag, cheap, cheerful, no sewing required !

Cheers for the chuckles

posted on Oct, 29 2012 @ 11:19 AM
You have just a smile on my face Smylee.
Get it Nice thread.
edit on 29-10-2012 by Ferryman because: Mistake

posted on Oct, 29 2012 @ 11:31 AM
reply to post by tovenar

Here here!

Why is that? I've noticed that women's sense of "time" is vastly diferent from men.

"It'll only take a minute!" If I only had a dollar for each time I've heard that. Usually projects that I am told will take 20 minutes turn into hours and hours of work.

I think it has to do with it being their project. Because they are seeing these projects from their perspective, they look and only see the positive outcomes possible.

I look at a woman's project and see all the potential complications and reasons it won't be so easy.

And of course I get yelled at unless I am 100% supporitive. "I told you so" is not allowed when a woman's plan go south.

So in closing, you can't win if you point out potential problems ahead of time, and you can't say I told you so later.

I just let women do their own thing and hopefully they learn to be realistic and honest with themselves over their abilities.

Edit to add:

Curse you Home Depot and Lowes! You put the idea on our wives and girlfriend's heads that we can ALL be master electricians and plumbers! We end up causing more damage and have to hire a professional in the end because your TV ads convince our women that we can save money AND have a warm-fuzzy "bonding project".

It usually ends in a fight and a possible trip to the ER.

Lets not forget the actual trip to the home improvement store. That usually takes 5 times longer than needed, and also can end up in a fight. Usually though, it just ends up in more money spent than was intended and a weekend afternoon wasted.
edit on 29-10-2012 by MystikMushroom because: (no reason given)

posted on Oct, 29 2012 @ 01:43 PM
This is my son with his first Halloween costume. It took me 6 hours and 4 yards of felt to figure it out.

As God is my witness, I will learn to sew!

posted on Oct, 29 2012 @ 01:58 PM
reply to post by smyleegrl

Wow, your husband knows you better than you thought. You still need to learn how to use that sewing machine though. I can use an old treadle sewing machine, I learned when I was young. My wife bought one of those complicated, computerized sewing machines. I see her knitting a lot now.......She will never admit she screwed up when she got rid of the old simple machine and bought this seven hundred dollar one

posted on Oct, 29 2012 @ 02:03 PM
reply to post by smyleegrl

"Who is that happy face baby Mommy?"

"I don't know his name, but he's cute..."

"YES he ISSSS cute!"

posted on Oct, 29 2012 @ 02:12 PM
reply to post by smyleegrl

Now that is a FUNNY story
Top notch.

Glorious! Thank you for the smile

posted on Oct, 29 2012 @ 03:20 PM
reply to post by ABNARTY

Glad you enjoyed it.

posted on Oct, 29 2012 @ 04:47 PM

I could picture your frustration! Glad the husband foresaw the future!

posted on Oct, 30 2012 @ 12:33 AM
sewing is easy, sewing well, is not. ^^

posted on Oct, 30 2012 @ 06:50 PM
It's not hard to follow a pattern or thread the machine. Why don't you get a book or something or go to youtube for a lesson? Why are you making it so hard?

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