My Husband the Genius, page 2


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ATS Members have flagged this thread 22 times


reply posted on 29-10-2012 @ 07:20 AM by salamanda
Originally posted by smyleegrl
Okay, ATS.

It's almost Halloween, and my son wants to be a magician. So I decide to buy a pattern and make him a cape. Simple enough, right?

Except I can't sew. I'm trying to learn, and the only teacher I have is simply trial and error. Mostly, error. I mean, it took me two freakin' months just to figure out how to thread the sewing machine.

Now, this pattern I purchased was a Simplicity pattern. Lies, lies, lies! You need an engineering degree just to be able to read the pattern, much less actually construct something from it. I must have studied that pattern for hours...then decided to bite the bullet and start cutting.

The pattern called for black felt, but that wasn't enough for me. No, I wanted it in a heavier fabric with a red lining. So I sewed a red fabric to the black fabric....and realized I'd stitched the head hole shut.

So my husband comes into the room whilst I'm cutting open the head hole and swearing like a sailor. He asks how I'm doing and I tell him what idiotic mistake I just made. Which is when he bursts out laughing and tells me that capes don't have head holes.

Oh, dear Lord in Heaven.

So now I've spent about ten hours on this stupid cape, probably thirty bucks in fabric, and I decided ten minutes ago to just give up and buy the el cheapo cape at the Halloween store. So I call my husband into the room to tell him will have to buy a cape.

At which point he let me know he'd already bought one a week ago...just in case.



LOL... awesome!

Don't despair though... you could probably count on one hand how many people here know how to sew. The very fact that you even tried to make a costume in the first place just shows that your son's got a damn fine Mum who actually cares... many kids don't!



reply posted on 29-10-2012 @ 07:23 AM by Suspiria
Originally posted by Destinyone
reply to
post by smyleegrl



Take one of your husband's black suit coats. Cut off both arms at the shoulders, Sew arm holes shut...viola...cape for Son...

Des


That's what I'd do...Or just buy a black cheapo bed sheet and doctor that. I actually managed to knock up a brill penguin nun habit from one black and one white sheet in one night. Must have been good enough, everyone wanted to borrow it after.
edit on 29-10-2012 by Suspiria because: (no reason given)



reply posted on 29-10-2012 @ 09:05 AM by showintail
reply to post by smyleegrl



You being a teacher, i think you can appreciate this. Plus, i can never tell her personally thanks.

My third grade teacher Mrs. Howard was the teacher. The one that impacted my life positively. And she made everyone in class learn how to sew, lol! Said we would thank her one day. And I have!

Drove myself insane making a kimono looking dress last yr. Made my girl a geisha.... But she cried all the make-up off before we left the house

Keep trying, you will get it!


reply posted on 29-10-2012 @ 09:53 AM by solargeddon
reply to post by smyleegrl



No need to feel bad.....I can't sew either, once when I was a kid in the Brownies (that's right laught it up), I earnt a badge, and thought I would sew it onto my dress myself.

It was an absolute success.....I even managed to sew it to the sleeve of my dress too !

Top cape making tip.....Bin bag, cheap, cheerful, no sewing required !

Cheers for the chuckles


reply posted on 29-10-2012 @ 11:31 AM by MystikMushroom
reply to post by tovenar



Here here!

Why is that? I've noticed that women's sense of "time" is vastly diferent from men.

"It'll only take a minute!" If I only had a dollar for each time I've heard that. Usually projects that I am told will take 20 minutes turn into hours and hours of work.

I think it has to do with it being their project. Because they are seeing these projects from their perspective, they look and only see the positive outcomes possible.

I look at a woman's project and see all the potential complications and reasons it won't be so easy.

And of course I get yelled at unless I am 100% supporitive. "I told you so" is not allowed when a woman's plan go south.

So in closing, you can't win if you point out potential problems ahead of time, and you can't say I told you so later.

I just let women do their own thing and hopefully they learn to be realistic and honest with themselves over their abilities.

Edit to add:

Curse you Home Depot and Lowes! You put the idea on our wives and girlfriend's heads that we can ALL be master electricians and plumbers! We end up causing more damage and have to hire a professional in the end because your TV ads convince our women that we can save money AND have a warm-fuzzy "bonding project".

It usually ends in a fight and a possible trip to the ER.

Lets not forget the actual trip to the home improvement store. That usually takes 5 times longer than needed, and also can end up in a fight. Usually though, it just ends up in more money spent than was intended and a weekend afternoon wasted.
edit on 29-10-2012 by MystikMushroom because: (no reason given)



reply posted on 29-10-2012 @ 01:58 PM by rickymouse
reply to post by smyleegrl



Wow, your husband knows you better than you thought. You still need to learn how to use that sewing machine though. I can use an old treadle sewing machine, I learned when I was young. My wife bought one of those complicated, computerized sewing machines. I see her knitting a lot now.......She will never admit she screwed up when she got rid of the old simple machine and bought this seven hundred dollar one


reply posted on 29-10-2012 @ 02:03 PM by MidnightSunshine
reply to post by smyleegrl



"Who is that happy face baby Mommy?"

"I don't know his name, but he's cute..."

"YES he ISSSS cute!"




reply posted on 29-10-2012 @ 02:12 PM by ABNARTY
reply to post by smyleegrl



Now that is a FUNNY story Top notch.

Glorious! Thank you for the smile
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