posted on Oct, 27 2012 @ 06:12 AM
To ATS for several years.. HA, fooled you didn't I.
Greetings, fellow ATS Lads, and Ladies.
I've been a lurker of the wonderful ATS community for several years now, recently caved and signed up for an account for a music thread of all things
on a conspiracy forum.
I like long walks on the beach followed by gruesome, bloodcurdling doomporn. I just can't seem to get enough of it. I'm writing this at 3:47am my
local time, and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm Addicted to ATS, or at least some of the content here in.
Yup, I was having one of those days. Feeling unsatisfied with my hobbies, physical activity, social life..... or perhaps the lack there of. Yeah, it
seems as summer has turned to fall I've began spending even more time in doors, tapping away on my laptop rather than going out for walks, running or
really doing anything at all. I don't drink, so it get's kind of hard to go out and do anything with Adults, as now the sun is gone they see no
reason to go outdoors anymore, when they can find some mindless flesh fix in the comfort of a pub instead. It's not always fun being the only one not
drinking, especially come fall for some reason.
So today, I started downloading hurtlocker, then went for a 3hr walk in the relentlessly windy downpour of the great north, all the while thinking,
thinking, thinking as I usually do. Listening to obscenely loud metal on my ipod, trying to get my mind out of the conspiracy/political/doomporn I've
grown so accustomed to, but I just couldn't do it. The entire walk, I was running over what if's with Iran, "Is the west really so foolish as to
start WW3 over nuclear energy?" ( not looking for an iran discussion, if you wish to know where I stand on it go look at any of the threads I
participated in discussing just that.) Contemplating the existence of life, an afterlife, a god(s), on to angels(believe in them) Demons(most
certainly believe in them.) My frustrations with religions, the human race. After much thinking, and burning cold soaking wet hands I decided to head
home.
Checked on my download, HOLY CRAP!!! Still not done, cripes mcgee. So I decided, fiancee will be home shortly, I will find something on the television
I seem to abusively neglect.
Again, I realize once you've found website's like, ATS, Cracked(humour is always good.) Youtube and so on. Television is really terrible. There
isn't a damn thing you really care to watch on, that isn't a repeat, remake, rip off of the same damn shows that have always been on, and every 3
mins there's a freaking commercial. I don't have to worry about that with ATS, and anything I really care to watch I can watch online sans
commercials. So I found a movie, and started to struggle through the infuriating barrage of mindless consumer commercials. Really, some of them are
just sad these days.
I notice, I just can't quite get comfortable, I'm growing more and more infuriated with the ridiculous programming, and lack of interaction. I'm
lacking the stimulation I crave. As my fiancee gets home it becomes apparent I'm in a strange mood. I'm distant, short, and slightly irritable, but
I engage in pleasantries and immediately start bombarding the poor woman with facts about mars, magnets, past conflicts, trying to get a conversation
going. She won't bite, and typically I wouldn't even bother her with any of these topics. It's sort of a one way deal, as soon as I start on about
astronomy I get a " oh neat...." or sometimes, " Babe..... I don't care..." Frustration building.... NEED DATA... CAN NOT Take it.....
*cigarette*
Man, I've never smoked so many cigarettes nor chewed my fingers more. It got to the point I decided I must try to sleep. Well, as many of you can
now guess based on my statement of time earlier in this post, it didn't go over well. I kept pondering.... and pondering and pondering... I even
began to have conversations with myself(in my thoughts of course.) I would propose a thought, explain it to myself, then reply to said thought from
another side.
Well... after an hour of trying to sleep, I gave up, got out of bed, sat down on the couch with my laptop, made a cup of tea, and here we are.
It's been less than a day since I decided I was not going to bother with ATS today, I couldn't do it, and with that.
Hi, my name is Jinx and I have a problem, that I believe we all share in one way or another.
What is it about this community that we just can't get enough of? Is it the desire for the truth, because though I believe some real gems are
available here, there are just as many false leads and unfortunate fakes here as anywhere else. Is it our human lust for doom, and chaos? Our
obsession with the unknown?
For me, ATS has become a bit of a perpetual lesson. I am quite often presented with new information to research, and discuss. I will be presented with
something I know nothing about at which point I will research, offer my own knowledge, and seek more. I feel I get to offer my own findings as well as
for lack of a better word get schooled in others. I'm a rather new poster but I'm extremely passionate, and open minded, how ever I tend not to take
a stance blindly with out looking at things from all perspectives.
Anyone care to discuss?