I feel that I am destined to be poor.

reply to post by liejunkie01

I found myself in exactly the same situation in 1992. It wasn't as financially as difficult as it is today, but I was going through a tough time.
I took a job in the deli at the local grocery store, saved the money to buy computer equipment to further my graphics arts. My friends from high school often saw me there, but there wasn't any shame, they thought it was great that I had big plans. I lived very sparsely, took advantage of the sales in the store, and bought a Mac. Kept the deli job until I had made enough contacts and had a good portfolio. It took some time to get my name out.
You have skills and knowledge. Invest in them. Perhaps you can make adirondacks and side tables from safe reclaimed wood, (I've seen furniture made from old boats) to help your finances. I made shirts on Cafepress just for the extra little bit of dough it brought in. It's a tough row to hoe to work double time, but sometimes, you have to do what you have to do to get what you want..
I think what you need right now, most of all, is faith in yourself.

I grew up in NY State public housing, and when I was 17, my mom died suddenly (apparently pulmonary fibrosis) leaving me and my 3 brothers homeless, with 3 of us still trying to get through high school. I know how to be poor, but I always see myself as broke if I'm financially down for the time being. Two of my brothers are doing very well, and one brother died last year in a bum hotel room as a result of a confluence of bad living decisions. I'm going to continue to believe that our little family won't end up a 2-2 split of success and failure, but there's no way to know how this will ultimately pan out. That said, if I sweated over any of it, my life would be a nightmare right now, and due to challenges that most American males would see as insurmountable.

• I'm 56 years old and - due to the unique nature of the corporate marketing profession - careerless
  
• Last year (Nov 7th) I underwent emergency spinal surgery, and have not been employable due to Workman's Comp liability requirements since
  
• At the moment, I'm self employed as a web designer, audio production, tarot reader, book author, researcher, marketing messaging specialist, small projects coordinator, and metaphysics educator - and have not made a dime regardless of the pricing, professionalism and ad investments I've aggressively pursued.

But I still refuse to see myself as a loser. This society will get even more difficult for a guy like me, and I have no delusions that feature a 2012 massive shift from the relentless corporatization of this society and this economy due to whatever alien invasion-harmonic conversion-5th dimensional ascension thing or outbreak of armed civil war that some guys like me are likely hoping for.

This life is important, but it's only important relative to how I react to what life hands me. You only need to sit at the bedside of a dying friend to get a really full appreciation of just how critical wealth and professional success ultimately is for any person who's in the moment of taking stock of his/her own life. Still, it's difficult to simply throw up your hands and navel gaze your way through failure, and it should be difficult to accept failure. The healthy human mind doesn't easily accept failure. It doesn't flip out over it, but it doesn't easily embrace it.

Life is a contest that everyone loses in the end. Like how video games all used to be. Everything that everyone wins is ultimately lost in the end. Well, except for the strengths and confidences that are won as a result of both achieving and failing if both are done in a healthy manner. In that sense, losing well always leaves you with more that you'll get to keep than winning easily or winning badly. That may end up being the most important thing to keep in mind regardless of what life hands you or takes from you.

reply to post by liejunkie01




First: It is better to be happy than it is to be rich.

I know all the "but if's" that come along with that but when you understand that there are countless examples of miserable rich and as many examples of the joy filled poor you will know that happiness isn't determined by economic success.


Second:

I know a man who worked sunup to sunset taking only one week every year to achieve his goal of owning his own bar on St John in the USVI. I know because he bartended for me in my restaurant. He would work his own shifts and any others he could pick up from other people who decided on Sunday they'd rather be at the beach than behind the bar. He made a decision that he was going to forgo pleasures of life (for right now) and instead place every once of available energy into reaching his goal. After 9 long years of hard work and sacrifice that grayed his hair in the process, he not only got married to a wonderful new bride but he finally realized his lifelong dream. He partnered in on a bar called Quit Mon, after John Wayne in the Movie. He enjoyed his dream for almost a full year. After celebrating his one year marriage anniversary he went to bed and never woke up. Died of a massive heart attack. His new wife inherited his share of the bar, married a much younger man and is now having the time of HER life.

Happiness and humor are learned skills you can apply to almost any situation and place in life. Not only will you improve your own peace of mind and well being, you can relax and calm others. You can show them what beauty is out there for free if you can find it yourself. Sunsets, starry nights, seashores and all that Hallmark Card crap.... Enjoy these while you can.

That said real happiness can be found in an occupation you love and that you would do for free. Industry also keeps a mind occupied and a hand busy and keeps away demons that would plague an idle man. I told a good friend recently - I have little self control and an addictive personality. That lottery windfall would have killed me long ago by alcohol abuse and accidental drug overdose. I know that's stupid. You would not misuse wealth but someone might kill you to steal it. Wealth can bring as many negatives, sometimes worse than the positives.

I remember a teacher told me this story and I have found it to be true.

A student asked him "Sir...should I enter college or go into the military?"
He responded..."It doesn't matter - Just pick one."
Otherwise life will run over you.
You will be roadkill before you realize what happened.
Truck is coming. Rabbit is in the middle of a crossroads and has a difficult choice to make.
But rabbit cannot decide. First faints left and then faints right ....so undecided.
The truck runs him over.

The moral I guess is it doesn't matter what direction you go but go and work hard and strive like many others here I am sure have said....

But don't do it for the money.
Do it because you have to live with yourself.

Be happy with your choices. You only get one chance at it.
Stop and smell the roses. Appreciate what you have achieved already and don't be too hard on yourself. To move forward you can't fear failure, its a part of the process.

You have to enjoy life most of all.

reply to post by liejunkie01


I am late to this thread, and this isn't the kind of thread where I want to read all the replies. I will just reply to your OP and leave it at that.

Here in West Texas there is a labor crunch, especially in construction. I work on the post construction side of a building project that is now 3 years over due and about 20 million over budget. They still build because they will make their money back...but it is all because we can't get labor.

Move here. You will get put to work immediately. May have to live in an RV or something at first, but it is work and it pays very, very well.

On a more "gray area" note:

Wealth is a burden. It creates social status, which drives a totally needless and vanity induced stress. I don't have wealth, but by nature of the work I do i have to play with people who do. So I have to maintain an appearance of, well not wealth, but the same social status concerns. And I often think about just walking away from it all to live like I used to: poor, but free.

That is the irony of your current predicament: that you are striving so hard to gain that which will shackle you.

Don't work to hard to get ahead. It is like a rat on a wheel....never really getting anywhere.

reply to post by NorEaster



You, sir, are no loser. I know nothing about you other than the mind that is broadcast on this forum. And your mind.....is anything but "loser".

Attaching value to material items is how lesser humans try to level the playing field. Don't trifle with such affairs. Because no matter how hard the situation is for you from a financial/survival standpoint, you are a person that commands respect and dignity by virtue of the mind that you have.

At least from me.

Don't know where you live or how far you are willing to travel, but if you go to Odessa Texas you will make 6 digits and have a job in days in the oil field. If you get a CDL truck drivers are making $45 an hour and working 80+ hours a week. They are in the middle of an oil boom. It will end in 3-5 years but for now the money is insane. Practically no unemployment. Odessa is not pretty or exciting, but it's money and a lot of it.

Originally posted by Binder
Don't know where you live or how far you are willing to travel, but if you go to Odessa Texas you will make 6 digits and have a job in days in the oil field. If you get a CDL truck drivers are making $45 an hour and working 80+ hours a week. They are in the middle of an oil boom. It will end in 3-5 years but for now the money is insane. Practically no unemployment. Odessa is not pretty or exciting, but it's money and a lot of it.

Are you in West Texas (Odessa)?

If so, U2U me and we will swap stories/locations. I am about an hour away from Odessa.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


Thank you. That meant a lot to me.

I know where you are at, I am there now, going through the same thing. I started out being only a hardwood floor guy, started in the summer at 16 and 17, then full time after graduation. Went through apprenticeship, worked my way up to full partner in the business. Was going good until the crash. I wish I had the answers for you, that would mean I have the answers for myself as well.

Since the crash I have been expanding and expanding myself, learned tiling, framing, roofing and sheetrocking so far. Still not enough really, just hoping it will pay off eventually. Endgame plan as of now is to learn how to do a lot, then I can be a foreman, and eventually a builder. That is what I am shooting for at least.

Being broke for so long has taught me a lot, that much I am thankful for. All the offtime I have, I spend improving something about myself. Got back into art, martial arts and fitness for example. Also started writing and thinking a lot more. I wish you the best of luck, I hope it all works out for you in the end.

I told the kids that Santa will be on a budget for Christmas this year.

We spoiled them pretty good last year.

They are getting g a little older so I think they took it well.

Man, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but being poor ain't one.