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Looking for Feedback on my Comic

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posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 07:26 AM
Hi everyone, I'm working on a comic and I've finished the first draft of the first issue. I just wanted to upload it here to get some feedback from people, see what people think of it so far. Any comments, suggestions or critiques are welcome.

As it is a work in progress, and there will be a few things changed/added/taken out, I won't go into explaining the story or characters or anything. Just imagine you randomly picked up this comic in the store and gave it a read, give me your first impressions. Hope you enjoy, thanks!

posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 07:39 AM
reply to post by WielderOfTheSwordOfTruth

Wow that's a lot of characters! Must've took you some time to make, nicely done, there are a few spelling errors. Other than that nice. SF

posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 07:51 AM
reply to post by Komonazmuk

Hey thanks, yeah at first 64 characters in the tournament sounded awesome, then it came to drawing all of them lol. I'm glad I did it though.

posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 07:55 AM
Good content, good art, good action thought it was hard to follow it kind of skips.... then I realized the side by side pages.
Real good can't wait to see it with some color!

posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 07:57 AM
Very impressive. keeping up with the dialog with so many characters is quite an achievement. I don't know how old you are or how long you've been doing this, so I can't really give a fair opinion.
But being an artist myself, I started at a very young age with material like this.
I can see you have evolved to drawing certain perspectives that are challenging to beginners, such as the 3/4 profile of a characters face, 2 point perspective and 3 point perspectives.

Pick an artist guide book to hone these areas:
Facial expression
1,2,and 3 point perspective drawing.
Ariel and low ground perspectives

Other tips are:
Stop when you are tired (you'll skimp on detail)
Do a light pre-sketch for each panel to insure fit of scene and dialog.
Sometimes less is more in motion blur
Finally, save a few $$ and invest in an computer artpad, I've got a Wacom Intuos, and you will find a whole new amazing world. Check youtube for some videos on it, you wont believe what you can do.

Congrats on your work and a lot of work it is!
edit on 26-10-2012 by Lonewulph because: (no reason given)

posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 08:03 AM
reply to post by iwontrun

Haha yeah gotta watch out for that, I'd love to see it with color too but it'll be awhile, I have to redo it in a more refined version first.

posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 08:07 AM
reply to post by WielderOfTheSwordOfTruth

The creativity and detail are great, keep up the good work.
edit on 10/26/2012 by iwontrun because: (no reason given)

posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 08:10 AM
Can you redraw one of the female characters with 3 boobs?

3 Boobs......that's so cool

posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 08:14 AM
reply to post by Lonewulph

Hey thanks for your comments and suggestions. I'm 24, I've been drawing all my life but I've been working on this comic for maybe 2 years but I don't get a lot of time to work on it really. I went to college a few years ago, a 2 year 3D game animation design program, I had to get a wacom tablet for that but somehow I never really liked it, I like the feel of pencil/pen/etc. on paper. But most people rave about them and I never really gave it a chance so I think I'll give it another try when I get the chance.

posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 08:15 AM
nice dude...keep it up.

finish thr storyline...then go meet publishers!!

i used to read 2000AD....great fun


posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 08:15 AM
dbl posts
edit on 26-10-2012 by thePharaoh because: (no reason given)

posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 08:15 AM
One of the first things I've ever wanted to be was a comic book artist/writer. Ironically, I never read many comics as a child. I was just looking for a medium to express my creativity. I did just start becoming a serious collector of Amazing Spider-Man so...this was right up my alley. Thanks for sharing.

(But, I am still a writer, so you will have to face my critiques and applause)

Your sense of pacing in the action scenes is superb! I think that is your strongest point. It is fast, exhilarating, but detailed at the same time. The quick-cut panels in those action scenes showed what they needed to show--the nuances and expressions we look for during quick-paced action. Good job.

I also like your creative approach to characterization. The contenders lined up in a strip of panels did kind of bug me seeing it over and over--but, you did make up for it with very intriguing and mysterious characters. It worked, you pulled it off; otherwise I might have said that it wasn't necessary to show so many characters in sequence like that. The only real problem is that I want to see more expressive faces. Humans are literally lost without facial expression. The facial expression is what brings life to the dialogue. The duel announcer was terrific! Some of the others?..A little bland, sorry to say. Keep facial expressions in mind with your characters. You must capture the context and the mood of the words (which you did do in some instances, but I found many examples leaving me wanting to see big smile or a mean snarl etc.)

I do feel like your pacing is a bit off when it comes to exposition. Modern literature is NOT about exposition. People have shorter and shorter attention spans each decade. Get straight into the important points, and get straight to the action--then comes the character development, and plot synopsis etc. But remember, keep that stuff short, sweet, and to the point. Yes, it is frustrating, but you have to remember who your audience is (children, young adults, the occasional imbecile hehe,]) most will likely not sit through the plot and characterization without a bit of eye candy first. I have no immediate problem with the first page or two. But, I think something bigger, quicker, more exciting should begin each comic. For a minute, I thought I was reading Gene Roddenberry's Lost Universe and went "ugh"

Also, slow down on your lettering. It's a little sloppy. It is every bit as important as the rest of the art. It is unattractive to the eye to see speech bubbles that contour and sag every which way. Consistent penmanship and more uniform bubbles will do wonders! (Only a very minor criticism)

One last thing. Keep four-letter words out of the dialogue. That is too contemporary and culture specific. It really doesn't belong in futuristic alien death duels on Mars. And don't forget to keep it friendly for your mainstream audience.

I really wouldn't change much and wouldn't ask you to. It is your art and it is good the way it is. I enjoyed reading it and am very glad you shared with us. I hope I was a little bit helpful and hope you will keep some of my pros and cons in mind for your future issues.

Polish it up and submit for publication. I will keep a look out for it at the comic shop

edit on 26-10-2012 by NarcolepticBuddha because: (no reason given)

posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 08:17 AM
reply to post by redbarron626

Haha yeah I could, not that I will but which girl were you thinking of? Out of curiosity.

posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 08:22 AM
reply to post by thePharaoh

Hey thanks, yeah building the story and universe takes a lot of thinking time.

posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 08:30 AM
reply to post by Lonewulph

Yeah the Wacom definitely takes time to become really comfortable with, I still keep a large art pad on hand to sketch when I have free time, nothing replaces the real thing.
I also do 3d computer design (gmax) over at my Eaglesoft site, I've gotten away from a lot of that to tend to family issues, but I do miss it.
Good luck!

posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 08:42 AM
I thought it was pretty entertaining and I will mostly support my fellow ATS member, I cant wait to see the finish product. I'm also an artist myself, I do tattoos, canvas painting, toys, write... so i can respect your tiem and effort to put it all together.... good luck

posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 12:24 PM
reply to post by WielderOfTheSwordOfTruth

nice mate

hey do these ideas come at a particular time or while doing a particular chore?

posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 01:04 PM
reply to post by NarcolepticBuddha

Thanks for everything you said, the critiques are helpful, one thing though, what do you mean keep out 4 letter words??

posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 01:09 PM
reply to post by Lonewulph

Ah yeah cool, I use Autodesk Maya for my 3D work, but yeah life eats up so much time its hard to get time for drawing and 3D stuff, its a shame.

posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 01:15 PM
reply to post by ILLosopher

Hey thanks! Glad to hear you liked it, thanks for the support, I'll upload more related works as I finish them. I'm currently working on Issue #2 and a kinda like special edition comic called History if Nikki.

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