One of the first things I've ever wanted to be was a comic book artist/writer. Ironically, I never read many comics as a child. I was just looking for
a medium to express my creativity. I did just start becoming a serious collector of Amazing Spider-Man so...this was right up my alley. Thanks for
(But, I am still a writer, so you will have to face my critiques and applause)
Your sense of pacing in the action scenes is superb! I think that is your strongest point. It is fast, exhilarating, but detailed at the same time.
The quick-cut panels in those action scenes showed what they needed to show--the nuances and expressions we look for during quick-paced action. Good
I also like your creative approach to characterization. The contenders lined up in a strip of panels did kind of bug me seeing it over and over--but,
you did make up for it with very intriguing and mysterious characters. It worked, you pulled it off; otherwise I might have said that it wasn't
necessary to show so many characters in sequence like that. The only real problem is that I want to see more expressive faces. Humans are literally
lost without facial expression. The facial expression is what brings life to the dialogue. The duel announcer was terrific! Some of the others?..A
little bland, sorry to say. Keep facial expressions in mind with your characters. You must capture the context and the mood of the words (which you
did do in some instances, but I found many examples leaving me wanting to see big smile or a mean snarl etc.)
I do feel like your pacing is a bit off when it comes to exposition. Modern literature is NOT about exposition. People have shorter and shorter
attention spans each decade. Get straight into the important points, and get straight to the action--then comes the character development, and plot
synopsis etc. But remember, keep that stuff short, sweet, and to the point. Yes, it is frustrating, but you have to remember who your audience is
(children, young adults, the occasional imbecile hehe,]) most will likely not sit through the plot and characterization without a bit of eye candy
first. I have no immediate problem with the first page or two. But, I think something bigger, quicker, more exciting should begin each comic. For a
minute, I thought I was reading Gene Roddenberry's Lost Universe and went "ugh"
Also, slow down on your lettering. It's a little sloppy. It is every bit as important as the rest of the art. It is unattractive to the eye to see
speech bubbles that contour and sag every which way. Consistent penmanship and more uniform bubbles will do wonders! (Only a very minor criticism)
One last thing. Keep four-letter words out of the dialogue. That is too contemporary and culture specific. It really doesn't belong in futuristic
alien death duels on Mars. And don't forget to keep it friendly for your mainstream audience.
I really wouldn't change much and wouldn't ask you to. It is your art and it is good the way it is. I enjoyed reading it and am very glad you shared
with us. I hope I was a little bit helpful and hope you will keep some of my pros and cons in mind for your future issues.
Polish it up and submit for publication. I will keep a look out for it at the comic shop
edit on 26-10-2012 by NarcolepticBuddha because:
(no reason given)