How to wrack up stars and flags on ATS in 10 easy steps: A new users guide

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posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 03:52 AM
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Have you ever looked at your post to star ratio and wondered: "What am I doing wrong? I have valid opinions?"

Have you looked at certain dim witted threads which have garnered the attention of ATS, and dim witted replies that have garnered even more, while intelligently written threads, replies, and people, go by the way side? Have you ever wondered how you could improve your K/D ratio on ATS?

Well I'm here to to tell you, and not only will I do it for free, I'll give you a star back guarantee that my strategy will improve not only your standing as an ATS member, but will drastically improve your star count. It will reflect your CoD kill screens, only instead of raging teenagers calling you a hacker, you'll have them praising you.

How, you might ask?

Follow these 10 easy steps:

1) Sign up as a girl. Even if you aren't a girl, use a female avatar, and a feminine screen name. This translates into more stars, attention, etc. While you may have to fend off creepy mentally ill men from the 4 corners of the earth, your ego will benefit.

2) BE A PRO SKEPTIC. It doesn't matter if you actually know anything. Just pretend you do and be the first skeptic on every thread to call bunk. This is a sure fire way to raise your star count.

3) BE A FEMALE PRO SKEPTIC (see 1 and 2, and include a sexy avatar for bonus stars).

4) Watch all new threads/topics, and wait for a thread based on U.S politics in election season (these tend to pop up every 15 seconds but your post to star ratio should be good regardless). Post a democrat friendly comment that seems reasonably intelligent, and watch the stars roll in.

5) Start a Zionist thread. ATS hates "zionists", and you are sure to wrack up stars and ATS cred by being as ambiguous as possible about your antisemitism.

6) Post a picture of the latest mars photo's, and circle a random rock, claiming it is a hamster. If this doesn't work, a random sunflare video from youtube will do.

7) Be the first to tell a Christian their God is dead on a spiritually related thread. If there's one thing ATS hates, it's Ignorance. Especially Christian Ignorance. Bonus stars if you can get them to confess there is no God without torturing them.

8) Start a 9/11 truth thread that supports the official story. Everyone knows people who have questions about 9/11 are tinfoil hat wearing nut jobs. This is why you get stars, and everyone else gets banned.

9) Be the first person to comment on the most interesting thread in the UFO forum with a cynical remark. It doesn't matter if it is actually an alien space craft or if it's even just a weather balloon. Someone will thank you with stars.

10) Start a meaningful thread about how people who believe in any of the above are idiots. This is sure to draw controversy, and drive up your star count and your ATS cred. Nothing says denial of ignorance like telling someone else they are retarded because they don't share your opinion.

I hope you've found this guide helpful in your quest to become the best ATS'er you can be.

May the stars and flags abound!

Pro tip:

ALWAYS include pictures in your threads. It makes it look like you actually put effort into researching your subject (Not to be confused with people who ACTUALLY research their subjects)



edit on 26-10-2012 by DeadSeraph because: (no reason given)



Edit to add some additions:

- Be a gun totin' freedom lovin' southerner with a hankerin for some war. War over there. Just not here. Where your kids/sisters/brothers are. Start a thread about it and demand obama's birth certificate.

-Start a thread about how the U.S and the Chinese are about to go to war. Be sure to include "SHTF" in your thread title for bonus points.
edit on 26-10-2012 by DeadSeraph because: (no reason given)




posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 04:00 AM
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nice satire



posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 04:03 AM
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funny and true, I don't see the point to having stars its not like it holds any merit to where your comment is placed its not like it "top rates" your comment........designers kind of missed the point. I thought this was about sharing information and ideas not praising people we "agree" with
edit on 26-10-2012 by zonetripper2065 because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 04:05 AM
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Originally posted by zonetripper2065
funny and true, I don't see the point to having stars its not like it holds any merit to where your comment is placed its not like it "top rates" your comment........designers kind of missed the point


It lets people say "me too" without posting me too.



posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 04:07 AM
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reply to post by Socrato
 


I accidentally removed something of the sort from my post just re-added it and saw your comment when it reloaded



posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 04:09 AM
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Or just make a thread about how great Jesus, the USA and guns are.



posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 04:11 AM
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Originally posted by SpearMint
Or just make a thread about how great Jesus, the USA and guns are.


They don't tend to get as many stars, but certainly a worthy mention. Perhaps we could expand this list.



posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 04:13 AM
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Originally posted by DeadSeraph

Originally posted by SpearMint
Or just make a thread about how great Jesus, the USA and guns are.


They don't tend to get as many stars, but certainly a worthy mention. Perhaps we could expand this list.


What if it was an American Jesus with a gun?



posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 04:15 AM
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Originally posted by SpearMint

Originally posted by DeadSeraph

Originally posted by SpearMint
Or just make a thread about how great Jesus, the USA and guns are.


They don't tend to get as many stars, but certainly a worthy mention. Perhaps we could expand this list.


What if it was an American Jesus with a gun?


Include a philly cheese steak and thats my idea of heaven as long as I get to shoot too.



posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 04:24 AM
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Originally posted by zonetripper2065
funny and true, I don't see the point to having stars its not like it holds any merit to where your comment is placed its not like it "top rates" your comment........designers kind of missed the point. I thought this was about sharing information and ideas not praising people we "agree" with
edit on 26-10-2012 by zonetripper2065 because: (no reason given)


I agree.

Yet to voice my agreement means I now have to post an off topic post in reply to you to let you know that I agree.

I wish there was a way to show my agreement with you without taking the thread off topic. Maybe a .. oh wait.



posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 04:24 AM
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Star+flag, that is all, thank you.



posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 04:25 AM
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star and flag for you!



posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 04:28 AM
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Loved your thread.Throw in a one liner always works.
(watch & learn,damn second line)



posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 04:28 AM
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reply to post by SpearMint
 


We must be on 2 different websites because on my ATS those are a few of the only things you can openly criticize.



posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 04:33 AM
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Originally posted by SpearMint
Or just make a thread about how great Jesus, the USA and guns are.



edit on 26-10-2012 by Hawking because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 04:38 AM
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reply to post by winofiend
 


1. I dont care who agrees with who, your existence is nothing more than characters on a screen to me which I read once and move on.
2. Its the internet the fact some people take it so seriously points out they have a sad meaningless life and this actually matters to them.
3. Your sarcasm isnt as funny as my truth.



posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 04:45 AM
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Love it, completely agree. ATS and things like Facebook are not too dissimilar at all in this regard! There’s a craze on Facebook (there seems to be a different one every few weeks) where people post on a company’s page telling a story about how that company stuffed them around or whatever else. 98% of the stories are completely fabricated for “likes”. One thing that annoys me about this site is the often massively sensationalised, misleading thread head lines. I’m often so let down when I go to a thread that has an interesting title only to be reading some boring spiel or whatever.

PS, S+F for you!! DERPPPP..
edit on 26-10-2012 by BlindBastards because: .



posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 04:45 AM
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The ones that make threads about stars and flags are generally the ones that constantly look at those 'stats' and worry about it.. but who really gives a crap? It means nothing in the grand scheme of things..

And the being a girl comment.. never heard so much bs.. the majority of people with the most flags and stars are male.. so kinda blows that theory out of the water..

Anyway have a sneaky suspicion the real reason of this thread is just to gain stars and flags anyway



posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 04:46 AM
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Or just flood any heated topic with multiple posts, don't forget to bypass the one-line rule by signing off..

myusername



posted on Oct, 26 2012 @ 04:50 AM
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Originally posted by misscurious
The ones that make threads about stars and flags are generally the ones that constantly look at those 'stats' and worry about it.. but who really gives a crap? It means nothing in the grand scheme of things..

And the being a girl comment.. never heard so much bs.. the majority of people with the most flags and stars are male.. so kinda blows that theory out of the water..

Anyway have a sneaky suspicion the real reason of this thread is just to gain stars and flags anyway


Umadbro?





 
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