Alcohol

I don't have any conspiracy spin on this subject, but would like to initiate some discussion on it.

I am analyzing my relation to alcohol, and that of the society- attitudes and taboos.

In one side of my family, there is a lot of alcoholism, and sort of addictive personalities in general. I am concerned that I have a vulnerability to it too, and yet the common ways alcoholism is determined do not apply to me.
I just took a test to determine my level of dependance and came out barely crossing the line into "mild dependance".

Basically, I do not drink everyday, I probably drink once a week. Usually on a weekend, I will have wine with dinner, and it can be one to three glasses. I do not have any withdrawal symptoms or cravings in between. BUT, I am intensely aware that when I start to drink, a huge desire to drink more arises, that I sometimes have trouble controlling! It starts to happen more and more that I decide I will have one glass of wine only, but end up having three anyway.

I find this troubling. I fear that it means I am in danger of becoming addicted one day, and that the best thign for me to do is to not drink at all, rather than wait until it becomes a real problem. But I have found that if I don't drink for two or three weeks, I become convinced that I can have only one drink with no problem- only to find again that I go on to two or three again.

So I am now thinking I will have to get help from my friends and family, to help remind me that no- I can't have just one. No more than I can have just one cigarette! The problem is that when I was smoker, it was easier to see I was addicted, and to get help with it. At this point, I think most people will wave me off and say I am being silly! I am not alcoholic, because I don't drink enough, I have no signs of dependance, and they will probably not be very supportive of this effort. -Unless I let it get really bad first.

I just was thinking about what makes a person more vulnerable to addiction?? Why do some people, like me and some of my family members, just go from addiction to another? When I stopped smoking I had to take up running, and became addicted to that. But I look around and see other people that just don't need anything.

I do not feel depressed, I am actually pretty happy- I have a good situation and life. But that was not always the case, I have been through a lot in the past. But I analyze my experience when I drink and it is like my body reacts stronger than some other peoples! With one drink, my euphoria is huge! One drink, and I want to write long expressions of my love for everyone on Facebook. I don't feel dizzy or drunk at that point, but gushing with happiness that is always there, but somehow feels "released" with alcohol.

Do some people have a bigger endorphin or dopamine release with substances than others?
It makes me wonder if they could come up with a test that determines whether or not you are a "potential" alcoholic, so you don't have to actually become one to know it!

reply to post by Bluesma

I just was thinking about what makes a person more vulnerable to addiction?? Why do some people, like me and some of my family members, just go from addiction to another? When I stopped smoking I had to take up running, and became addicted to that. But I look around and see other people that just don't need anything.

Its because it adds a feeling of high in yourself, and even if its transitory you like it enough to seek it out again. Your a seeker just not a full on one. I wouldnt worry about it too much from reading the description of your lifetyle habits of drinking ; its nothing you need to worry about.

reply to post by Bluesma


Myself, I have alcohol/drug abuse on both sides.
[SNIP]

I need a crutch, I need self medication, or at least, I have fooled myself into believing and living such. Moderately to severely depressed since 14 or so, assume it's hardlined into me, thus the use of substances.

All I wish to convey in this post is that alcohol reliance has worsened my state of mind/being and social life more so than the other. I drink 5-6 nights a week, not nearly to the hammered state, but certainly to a decent buzz state. It hasn't affected my work at all, but as for social/family, it certainly has distracted from these. I regret it daily, and it's a constant struggle.

It sounds like you already know what to do when or if your drinking starts to bring about negative consequences.

No one wants to see it come to that! I hope in your case that it never does. Maybe you can continue to drink socially, but you sure sound like you like it a LOT. Your tolerance will grow, and three glasses won't be enough, you'll drink a whole bottle and wake up the next morning with people asking you "Do you know what you did last night??"

At that point you might want to do like you did when you quit smoking,...substitute a good habit for the bad one, and never take that First drink, because it inevitably changes your thinking, into thinking that another one would be just fine, and another, and another,..!

And just because life is going smooth for you right now, that may not always be the case. If you drink at a time when things are already going downhill, it will only make things worse.

Frankly, being aware as you are of the dangers you run, it would make sense not to risk it. Drinking alcohol is something you can get by in life without doing.

Be careful.

I quit the cigs and booze almost a year ago (December) and have not had one puff off of a cig or a drop of alcohol since then. I have a history of heavy drinkers in my family and I was one of them. I truly believe it's mind over matter or will power, whatever you wanna call it. The booze is just no good for you no matter how little or how much you drink. It's toxic poison, plain and simple. People wonder why they get hangovers. They get them because you've ingested poison into your body. I'm not gonna lie, I do toke something and I believe that has had great deal to do with me kicking the booze and cig habit. I didn't trade the booze or cigs for the "stuff". I indulged in all three of those habits simultaneously for 20 years. I just woke up one morning and said I'm done with drinking and cigs and I've been alcohol and tobacco free since. It has made world of difference in how I feel.

I could start to feel the brain cells dying when I drank. My head would go numb on the inside and I would forget the most basic of things. Things you should never forget. That feeling was getting progressively worse each time I drank. When I was sober the next day my memory was back to it's full self. I've seen the devastating effects, first hand, of someone who drank themselves to death and it was not a pleasant experience, but that didn't even stop me from drinking. It's all about your will and desire to moderate yourself or to stop completely. It also boils down to brain chemistry. Everyones' is different. Like you said, you feel like you need to trade one thing for another. I personally didn't feel that need. You sound like you got a good head on your shoulders and the desire to not let alcohol take control of you. For this I salute you. Just remember, you don't need that stuff. It's all in your mind. I hope things work out for you.

"In one side of my family, there is a lot of alcoholism, and sort of addictive personalities in general. I am concerned that I have a vulnerability to it too"


I didn't need to read anything other then this.(thought I did read your full post).

You're like me. You know what makes me think that? You're questioning your drinking habits. That's what I did at first.Until I realized I needed help. There's no damn test to determine what we're going to do or if we're at risk. It's common sense.

My fathers side is full of alcoholics. I knew that the day I started drinking. I thought " it wont happen to me". But guess what? It did.I'm of the belief you're pre-disposed to it,like I am. To put it simply,it runs in the family. Maybe I'm way off base in saying this..but as someone who's been there it sounds like you're trying to rationlize your drinking. And trust me when you're doing that you have a problem.

reply to post by FrostForests


You sir,need help too. It saddens me to see these posts. Because you both sound like me before I got sober.And before someone goes through my post history and points out what I did...I regret it. 5 years sober down the tubes. Take it from me...put it down now.

I really appreciate hearing others just tell of their experiences and feelings!

I've been sitting here looking up info, and everywhere, they only consider it a problem if you drink everyday, or binge drinking, which refers to larger amounts than I do. It is making me frustrated because I guess I just sense it is a problem, and I don't feel like I can get any confirmation of that anywhere else.

I also wonder if I have been influenced by my husband- his father was an alcoholic, and he gets really nervous and upset when people drink. It used to be, he could not drink any at all and couldn't stand seeing me drink anything. With time (and partly because of his work) he came to be able to drink a glass of wine sometimes and be okay with others drinking a little bit. Perhaps it is his attitude and frowning if I have a second glass that just makes me blow this up in my head!

On the other hand, at a cocktail party a few weeks ago, I decided I would not drink at all. I realized I must have always used that as a crutch in social situations because it was a new experience to be totally sober at a party!!

I found out that I am not as shy as I thought, and i do just fine approaching and conversing with strangers.
It sounds stupid, but probably since I was a teen, I have held the idea I am a social retard, so I drank to facilitate socializing.... which made me confirm my belief. I would say the wrong things or make an ass of my self.
Talk about self fullfilling prophecies!

I think my concern might have really started because of that party. The realization that I had been using it as a crutch in events like that. Luckily we don't go to parties often, but that was pretty...uh...sobering!

reply to post by Bluesma


Theres drunk light headed and theres Drunk...loud and crazy and wild. I think you are mature enough to judge where the line between is.

I've made drinking obsolete in my life. It has no place and it never will.
We all know what it does and what it causes, so why go down that road??

reply to post by Bluesma


I quite enjoy drinking. I serve drinks for a living. You obviously have to make your own choices on the matter, but I probably wouldn't drink if it bothered me, at this point in my life. I look at alcohol as an integral part of human history, with each individual having to deal with it in their own way throughout their lives. I wouldn't expect support from my loved ones, since it is my responsibility to choose to drink or not. Alcohol is blamed for many things, and is esteemed by many of my favorite artists throughout history as having been inspiring to their art. It seems to open a door for most people, like other drugs.

reply to post by Bluesma


Every night before bed I look over ATS on my phone. I usually don't post anything cause really I don't feel I can add much. Sadly I think I can to this thread so I decided to get up and turn on the computer.

I drank a little bit in highschool. Never too much but I did something I wont go into cause of the rules. When I went off to college I went all out. I got in some trouble and after two months I was back home out of school. Decided it wasn't for me and quit for like six months. Never really drank that much until I moved out when I was 21. I drank a fair amount, probably getting drunk three nights a week. Then I moved back home for a while and maybe drank once or twice a week. At 22 I moved out and it got pretty heavy. It started out a few nights a week but after a year and a half it got to the point where I had trouble remember the last sober day I had. Finally at 23 I gave it up again. Texted a friend who was sober in a drunken depression asking to call me the next day and help me. Got sober for about six month but then my cousin got married and I said what the heck its a wedding. It wasn't bad for a while but then it escaleted. By the 2012 I pretty much gave it up again for a few months. I wasn't sober but I had started going back to school and just didnt have time or care to do it. Then summer came and things spiraled out of control again. By the end here going through a 12 pack was expected, which is crazy cause I only way 120lbs. So for instance if you weigh 200 thats about 20 beers a night. Sure you could do the math but it puts it in perspective. For the record I never had much for withdrawals, insomnia and some night sweats were the worst. That leads us up to last sunday here. I had to work early in the morning so decided not to drink, cause I mean hey, it's not like I totally need it. Didn't drink wednesday either. Well at about 5:45 am it hit me, all the sudden I went into full on panic attack mode. If you've never experienced one it's basically like knowing your time is up and your about to die. Felt like a belt was wrapped around my left arm and chest, plus light headed, and was gasping for air. I have had one in the past, bad gardening if you catch my drift. I knew it was a panic attack but I just couldn't take it. I sat around for about 15 minutes before I called my parents hoping they could calm me down. After five minutes I knew it wasn't going to work so I went to ER. In the ER I started seeing things like flys flying around a chair or bugs on the ground that upon closer look, werent there. Now I'm not sure if that was alcohol hullucinations or just the fact that I had popped six sleeping pills and hadn't gotten any sleep (There's that insomnia), either way it was scary. Doctors gave me some pills that calmed me down and a precription and sent me on my way. The rest of monday I had 3 more panicky episodes. They weren't full blown panic attacks where I knew death was immenient, but still they were very, very uncomfortable. I also had the shakes. Not over the top but it sucked. But then again I had anxiety through the roof so I couldn't help but wonder if I was headed for the DTs. Fun fact, they kill 1 in 5 people who get them. Don't get me wrong DTs only happen in 5% of alcoholics but still, anxiety. Also I live in a different state then my parents so it's not I could just go crash on the couch in case anything happened. I live alone so if something did happen I don't know what would happen. 5 days in now and each days been getting better but still. I just tell you this because while I knew I was drinking way too much I didn't think I was this far in, I'm only 25 and been drinking on and off for about 4 years, and if you take the off part out its only like 2. I'm not trying to tell you to stop or anything, I just want you to know it's not like it takes 10-20 tears before the efffects start happening. Sorry if the spellings wrong but the anxiety is kicking in and I want to go back to my bed. Like I said, don't let it get this far where youre in an ER wondering what youve done to your body.

I won't go into my drinking history , I have posted it here a few times on different addiction threads but I am an alcoholic . I have learnt over the years that alcoholism comes from your genes and the lifestyle you grew up in ( the nurture and the nature) I always thought I was a happy person with a normal lifestyle but in reality I didn't like who I was and alcohol gave me the escape to be who I thought I wanted to be . I surrounded myself with people that drank like myself (excessively) so I could compare myself to them and say it was Ok ! I've been 5 years sober and I am grateful for every sober day I have now !!

I want to respond to each and every one of you directly, but I won't have the time to do so.
I am reading carefully each one though.
Man, these stories are touching and thought provoking.

reply to post by Bluesma
Bluesma quit your worrying, you drink in moderation thats cool nothing to freet over, You see, you have disciplined yourself very well to drink in moderation,
Its the people who cannot stop that have the issue not you, So enjoy your tipple and relax with your chardonney.

People who work out 7 days a week have a "cheat" day. some cheat the whole weekend. When I worked out, my cheat would be tacos because I LOVE me some tacos! Sometimes I would eat five at one time! Yes. FIVE and it was soooo good. Does that make me a tacoholic? No, didn't think so. It's all about moderation.

just wondering if you have ever had any anxiety issues or felt trouble fitting in with a crowd, perhaps over analyze situations or even avoid situations with people because of an un easy feeling?

Originally posted by LittleBlackEagle
just wondering if you have ever had any anxiety issues or felt trouble fitting in with a crowd, perhaps over analyze situations or even avoid situations with people because of an un easy feeling?

Um... I wouldn't say it is a full blown anxiety problem or anything, but especially when I was a teen, I felt uncomfortable being the center of attention.
Being part of a group or crowd wasn't uncomfortable in itself, as I could easily stand in the back, blend in, remain inconspicuous. I like to observe everything. But honestly, I don't analyze any of the data in the moment. I am just like a giant receptor, taking in everything, and then I analyze and digest later, alone.

But I did find myself rather awkward and clumsy socially, and alcohol would help me relax in situations where I would be expected to project and interact.

Lucky Non Duality and Alcohol dont mix or it is now again lol

Originally posted by Bluesma

Originally posted by LittleBlackEagle
just wondering if you have ever had any anxiety issues or felt trouble fitting in with a crowd, perhaps over analyze situations or even avoid situations with people because of an un easy feeling?

Um... I wouldn't say it is a full blown anxiety problem or anything, but especially when I was a teen, I felt uncomfortable being the center of attention.
Being part of a group or crowd wasn't uncomfortable in itself, as I could easily stand in the back, blend in, remain inconspicuous. I like to observe everything. But honestly, I don't analyze any of the data in the moment. I am just like a giant receptor, taking in everything, and then I analyze and digest later, alone.

But I did find myself rather awkward and clumsy socially, and alcohol would help me relax in situations where I would be expected to project and interact.

could be one of the reasons why you enjoy it but honestly alcoholism in and of itself destroys lives rather quickly and it doesn't seem like you fit the mold for that. my guess is you have some mild anxiety due to chemical imbalances within your body. nothing to worry over really.

there was a time when i lived on alcohol and hard drugs just to get by. came to find out 30 years later it was due to OCD for me anyway. i don't drink these days even with the medicine i take because they just don't mix ya know. the only way i could feel "normal" was to be under the influence of something.

now that i can identify my problem i can live just fine without it.