I don't have any conspiracy spin on this subject, but would like to initiate some discussion on it.
I am analyzing my relation to alcohol, and that of the society- attitudes and taboos.
In one side of my family, there is a lot of alcoholism, and sort of addictive personalities in general. I am concerned that I have a vulnerability to
it too, and yet the common ways alcoholism is determined do not apply to me.
I just took a test to determine my level of dependance and came out barely crossing the line into "mild dependance".
Basically, I do not drink everyday, I probably drink once a week. Usually on a weekend, I will have wine with dinner, and it can be one to three
glasses. I do not have any withdrawal symptoms or cravings in between. BUT, I am intensely aware that when I start to drink, a huge desire to drink
more arises, that I sometimes have trouble controlling! It starts to happen more and more that I decide I will have one glass of wine only, but end up
having three anyway.
I find this troubling. I fear that it means I am in danger of becoming addicted one day, and that the best thign for me to do is to not drink at all,
rather than wait until it becomes a real problem. But I have found that if I don't drink for two or three weeks, I become convinced that I can have
only one drink with no problem- only to find again that I go on to two or three again.
So I am now thinking I will have to get help from my friends and family, to help remind me that no- I can't have just one. No more than I can have
just one cigarette! The problem is that when I was smoker, it was easier to see I was addicted, and to get help with it. At this point, I think most
people will wave me off and say I am being silly! I am not alcoholic, because I don't drink enough, I have no signs of dependance, and they will
probably not be very supportive of this effort. -Unless I let it get really bad first.
I just was thinking about what makes a person more vulnerable to addiction?? Why do some people, like me and some of my family members, just go from
addiction to another? When I stopped smoking I had to take up running, and became addicted to that. But I look around and see other people that just
don't need anything.
I do not feel depressed, I am actually pretty happy- I have a good situation and life. But that was not always the case, I have been through a lot in
the past. But I analyze my experience when I drink and it is like my body reacts stronger than some other peoples! With one drink, my euphoria is
huge! One drink, and I want to write long expressions of my love for everyone on Facebook. I don't feel dizzy or drunk at that point, but gushing
with happiness that is always there, but somehow feels "released" with alcohol.
Do some people have a bigger endorphin or dopamine release with substances than others?
It makes me wonder if they could come up with a test that determines whether or not you are a "potential" alcoholic, so you don't have to actually
become one to know it!