It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.
Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.
Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.
Originally posted by Pinke
Originally posted by Char-Lee
reply to post by tothetenthpower
Is deeper in another way also. There is no one looking to find anyone to look up to anymore, they want contemporaries and don't even understand the concept of respecting an elder.
My children are in their early 40's. They resent me because I am NOT interested in styles, in looking "hot"
Honestly, I dunno you as a person at all and I could be totally crazily way off base begging for the most awesome throat punch ever and am certainly not old enough to say these things but ... (and I'm really really sorry!) Do you not think maybe it's a bit childish having the expectations as you do? I mean you say you're not worried about fitting in, but it seems you're at least a little sad at how your children are treating you?
I think it's understandable and natural! With my grandfather I guess at a point we stopped relating to one another and stopped talking. I hope he understands that really I just didn't know what to say, and we just didn't share the same interests any more. I loved him very much, and there are so many questions I'd ask him now but I didn't have them at the time. I guess I also thought perhaps he wasn't interested or stopped caring.
I get on very well with my dad. The one thing that really stands out to me with him is that he never seems to judge me exactly. I've made lots of mistakes, and he is still there. At times I neglected him or thought he was wrong about lots of things, but he was never upset or angry at me. Anything I do, I know I can always come to him and talk about it and it won't be a shouting match or a falling out. He just says, oh I think you're wrong, but give it a try. He is usually right.
The biggest lesson he has taught me is not to give in to those negative feelings. Sometimes I feel my friends or lover are neglecting me, or not paying attention to me, but if I truely love them am always there for them; it doesn't mean being a door mat or being dishonest, it just means always being there and not letting feelings get in the way of that.
It's almost kind of like watching a persons life, and often they realise sooner than you think. My dad taught me that, and it's true wisdom in a way, giving people the time and tools to change even if they don't realise what you're doing or never realise. It isn't about recognition I suppose.
I'm sure the pain you're feeling is because you love your children very much and I truly mean no disrespect. My dad's loving temperament and awesomeness truly makes me regret every moment I've treated him how you describe though I never resented him for not being hip ... I guess I just felt for a while perhaps I knew better or perhaps he might judge me, so we didn't communicate.
I hope your children aren't shallow enough to resent you for the reasons you describe and in a really nice way I hope you're wrong about it!
Please don't hit me! *hides*edit on 25-10-2012 by Pinke because: typos