...but the world must learn that I love the Father and that I do exactly what my Father has commanded me. John 14:31
Originally posted by grayeagle
The answers I have received from the "church" have not been willing to deal with my questions. I have always sensed there is a greater spirit.
But I am having a crisis of faith!
However, it is getting harder for me to imagine a merciful god who would command the utter destruction of men, women and children by the sword as spoken in the Old Testament. Can your justice really be doled out in excruciating fear and pain? Defenseless children destroyed because of their parent’s sin? How can that be justice?
I can’t ignore the contradictions anymore. The world is so full of hunger and pain. The poor we will have with us forever? Really? I have seen first hand what suffering surrounds poverty. Can you really allow that to continue and yet be a merciful God? And why?
A crisis of faith? Yes!
If there is no hope of change for some then there is no hope for me. If I have become a joint heir with Christ and you are my father can I not ask you these questions? How could you change so drastically from the Old Testament God to the New Testament God? If you are the same God how could you order entire cities of men, women and children slain without mercy? How can I as your child feel safe that you won’t in your power and anger decide to punish and destroy me forever? That you won’t command your army to wipe me from the face of the Earth?
“Saved by faith not by works,” but “faith without works is dead,” appear to cancel each other out. I know the standard church explanation for this paradox but I am uncomfortable with it. I have come to know I am totally incapable of changing myself or of saving myself! My greatest works would never be enough! I have believed the fruit of the spirit and the gifts of god are all manifested and directed by the power of your holy spirit. If faith isn’t enough then I have no hope! I feel like I have become one of the bleached skeletons lying amidst others in the dust. Will your spirit breathe life back into me? Back into them? The Bible speaks of such an event. I pray so!
If I have truly become a new creature in Christ, I am afraid I do not see it in my mirror. I have become weary with the hunger and pain and suffering I see in the world. I am heartsick and bone weary. Innocent men, women and children are beaten, starved, raped, abandoned and murdered.
Why was there a different justice applied in the old testament? I don’t understand how your character could change so drastically. “Sin that you once winked at,” doesn’t make sense to me if you are unchangeable.
Why would man’s sin condemn him to eternal pain? Eternal pain and suffering? To what end? Surely it would not be something you need to satisfy a need for revenge. I believe many people have died since Jesus died and never heard the gospel. Would you really exact eternal pain to those who have not accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior because they haven’t heard the gospel? With your supreme power and all of your resources available to you is eternal pain and suffering the only option? I have heard man’s explanation for it but it troubles my soul.
I would take no solace in knowing my enemies were suffering forever and I can’t believe you would either. What satisfaction would that bring? You are described as being long suffering, not willing that anyone should perish. If you save me then I ask that you save them as well. For I have sinned as grievously. I have coveted and lusted. I have hated and lied.
All of creation is crying out for mercy, for healing, for salvation. Even the earth groans. Where is my hope and my salvation? If faith isn’t enough then I am quite lost and condemned forever. I will continue to call upon you though I don’t hear your voice. I really hope and pray you exist because if you don’t then all is for naught.
I am growing old and my body fails me. I am in constant pain. Peace has fled me. Joy is an elusive friend that I have not spent much time with for a long time.
Hear my cry o Lord and attend unto my prayer, restore to me the joy of my salvation. I will try to believe in my heart and confess with my mouth that Jesus is my lord and savior. Beyond that I am at a loss for words.
edit on 06/02/2011 by grayeagle because: I realize this post doesn't completely meet the criteris for this forum. Mods please move as appropriate.
Originally posted by grayeagle
reply to post by jacygirl
Thank you for your response! I am no longer actively church pastoring but trying to live my life in a way that supports and encourages others in their struggles. I am endeavoring to be congruent so that what people see on the outside is the same as what I am on the inside. The greatest encouragement to me now is when I hear and meet people who are attempting to do the same. Thanks again for your personal encouragement!
Originally posted by 0mage
i believe the Lord requires warriors of faith and not pussy cats. your heart is in the right place. but the question is.. will a loss in faith change you? will there be a change in your heart because uve given up on God if u do decide to? the answer to that question is what will decide if u have been truthful all along. God or no God.. if you change your outlook on life and ppl when u seem to have no hope then perhaps finally it would mean u are being true to yourself.
if you wouldnt change.. regardless of a change to a Godless concept of living then you were always true. and where is your faith if u are still the same as with faith or without faith? so who would you be kidding? what is your threat. you've got to be true.. not just for the eyes u think are upon you... but even when there are no eyes on you. that is the true you. who are you without a ruler over your head? let God know how you really feel.
Originally posted by akushla99
Only an empty cup can be filled...
Originally posted by DeadSnow
reply to post by grayeagle
I too was once a man of God until reality hit me, through experienced I begun to understand that if there really is a single higher power, it does not interfere nor care about us. I actually get very heated when I see religious people look down upon people of different faiths and atheists. Peace must come from within you, not from a combination of revised truth and fiction.
Originally posted by AfterInfinity
reply to post by grayeagle
Sometimes, I wonder if the result of following Jesus were to lead one straight to hell...would people still do it? If there was nothing to be gained by following the teaching of Jesus except unending agony and the self-satisfaction of knowing that you did the right thing, would people still follow him?
This question arises from another thought train: do people do it for heaven, or because it's right? Do they do it for the reward, or for the knowledge that they made someone's life easier? Sometimes, I wonder.
Originally posted by grayeagle
The answers I have received from the "church" have not been willing to deal with my questions. I have been a pastor in the past but this is my lament. I have always sensed there is a greater spirit. One which I have known and accepted as the Lord Jesus Christ in the past. But I am having a crisis of faith! This is my conversation with God.
I join your saints through the ages crying out for mercy and justice. However, it is getting harder for me to imagine a merciful god who would command the utter destruction of men, women and children by the sword as spoken in the Old Testament. Can your justice really be doled out in excruciating fear and pain? Defenseless children destroyed because of their parent’s sin? How can that be justice?
I just don’t get it!
Lord I don’t understand your mercy. I can’t ignore the contradictions anymore. The world is so full of hunger and pain. The poor we will have with us forever? Really? I have seen first hand what suffering surrounds poverty. Can you really allow that to continue and yet be a merciful God? And why?
A crisis of faith? Yes!
Grey Eagle, I am going to answer your questions with revelation that God has given me because I have asked the same things as you. Now I understand.
First of all you must know that all this pain and suffering in the world is a result of the world rejecting God. This is what you get. And this is how it must be for now. But things are a changing. I'll explain.
Jesus said when he appointed the seventy that the harvest was great but the workers were few. he said to work while it is yet day because the night cometh when no man can work. What he was saying is this: God;s salvation for the world is like a garden. We had the former rain in pentecost. an initial outburst of the spirit to a few to get the garden started. After this the spirit receeded like the rain receeds after planting. Only occasional rain comes between planting and harvest to keep the garden growing. Then at the end of the age of grace when the harvest is ready, God will give another great burst of the spirit to his people known as the latter rain. A double portion this time. It will come when Satan is cast out to the earth, for God says when the enemy comes in like a flood the spirit of the Lord will set up a standard against him.
The early apostles had garments of the spirit. You could see them at times like when Steven was stoned and the glory of God shown on his face. There was great power given to the apostles to work with to get the garden started. There was much more required of them pertaining to Holiness because to whom much is given much is required. In between the planting and the end harvest there is the working of the Holy spirit in a much less quantity therefore since we do not have that amount of power within us we do not have the substance needed to conquer our sins completely in this walk but Grace is sufficient and God understands our weaknesses. Still we must comtinue to pray for forgiveness when we sin and we are forgiven.
There is coming a great pouring out of the spirit inorder to gather in the harvest and batlle satan when he comes.It will be in the first month(Hebrew) and if the vision and experience God gave me is any indication, it will be on a Palm Sunday.
There is an end to injustices and griefs. The millenial reign is near. 144,000 of God's saints, all from the twelve tribes are here now awaiting to be sealed. These are saints that have not been indoctrinated with churches(womens) doctrines. They are spiritually virgins.Sects of faith are not God's will. He told me once in 83(the only time God ever talked to me other than through the bible and unction) he would gather, try and separate until we were one.
Do not question your faith in God. He has all these things in his hand. A time of healing is coming. Stand fast and be courageous. Stop listening to sect doctrines from men. Many now a days are not even called by God but are hirlings. read his word. It is the only place to get the oil you need. Do not be one of the foolish virgins. There will be weeping and nashing of teeth from those who thought they were going to be saved out of this with a rapture only to find themselves still here an apart from the spirit of Shiloh which is coming. It is "NOW" time to pray for the latter rain. Only those who are aware of its coming can do so. You are now aware if you believe these things.
There is much more to say but I cannot give you years of learning in one post. God loves you. Love him and trust him. your fellow servant in Christ.