Why must everything be against me?

I have reached my breaking point. I feel as if nobody cares for me, not even my family. I feel so lonely, i havent had a "real" relationship with anyone...i've had two day relationships before but then either she breaks it off for i do due to her being crazy. I feel the "Powers that Be" are against me, i have such bad luck socially. I have many friends but they all mess with me the most (They're my friends they just pick on me a lot). But on Thursday one of my best friends died. His dad was an ex-police officer and two guys that he put in jail got out and went to his house with guns. They had a firefight and my friend was hit in the process and he died there. Everything is so sad lately.. I'm skipping school tomorrow just for the funeral. I often have mood swings (only between depressed and normal) and lately all i've been is depressed. Please give me some advice, not just "Go see a counselor or Go talk it out with my parents" as my Mom died a year ago due to cancer. Thank you all for your time.

reply to post by MbretM

I'm about to jump off but I had to say something here... God.. I'm so sorry. Yo've literally described the worst possible nightmare of every Cop and his family. I was a cop's kid. This could have been me, had something long ago gone different than it had. Wow.. I can't begin to imagine... If you have a relationship with the Officer, please pass on the fact people did express deep condolences. Unless this man is Robocop...it wasn't just his kid. He died there too. I just can't imagine.

I'm trying to think what anyone could suggest? I sure wouldn't recommend alcohol or anything else.. You sound too far down already and it wouldn't be a good thing tonight?

It may just sound stupid but I'll throw it out here anyway. Take it for what you will... I couple times I had real hard periods emotionally I found it easier to get through by online chatting. Not with friends. Not with people who made any difference whatsoever or that I'd ever have to see again... One of the rare times I've used another SN. That was Yahoo, and the chat network there is like the Forums here. Something for absolutely every imaginable need or interest. I found I could get a hell of a lot off my chest and surprisingly...it wasn't near as hard to find a woman or..I'll believe they were..willing to listen and not judge.

That's my two cents...and all I'd know to suggest from experience which doesn't carry a Proof rating on a label.

reply to post by MbretM


If all you say is true, then it's natural to be depressed you must go through a period of mourning, as bleak as it seems you must realize it will get better. As for the friends that pick on you, it's time to ditch them and seeks new friendships. as for bad relationships with the ladies, worry not, it's HS I'm assuming, you'll graduate one day and the real fact is years down the road, most of those people will mean nothing to you. All you can do is work to better yourself and try your best to remain strong. It's awful to hear you lost a parent as well as your best friend, I imagine you feel completely alone. Please don't close yourself in, you need to meet new people and keep the good ones around and get rid of those who do not treat you well.

All I can tell you is to never give up.

reply to post by MbretM


Try your best to remember that you are not alone in suffering. Keep your head up, if you ever need someone to talk with message me anytime. It may seem that others around you could care less but every individual deals with suffering in a different way. Best wishes to you!

I hate to be the one to say it, friend, but you do need to go see a professional about this. Your depression, mood swings, anxiety, and everything are affecting your daily life. What you are going through is absolutely devastating, mixed with the type feelings you're having about "the powers that be," is a potentially debilitating mixture.

You need someone you can talk to, face to face, and get your feelings / thoughts off of your chest.

I'm not particularly religious, but you're in my prayers. Depression is very serious but it is something you can overcome. Persevere, there is hope.

Peace.

reply to post by MbretM


Did you know a good majority of therapist have a therapist? No joke.



Never feel ashamed if you need to talk to someone. Our society has placed such a negative stigma around something such as seeing a therapist. I had to see one just a few years ago! Having someone who truly listens helps immensely, more so than you would believe.

Originally posted by MbretM
I have reached my breaking point. I feel as if nobody cares for me, not even my family. I feel so lonely, i havent had a "real" relationship with anyone...i've had two day relationships before but then either she breaks it off for i do due to her being crazy. I feel the "Powers that Be" are against me, i have such bad luck socially. I have many friends but they all mess with me the most (They're my friends they just pick on me a lot). But on Thursday one of my best friends died. His dad was an ex-police officer and two guys that he put in jail got out and went to his house with guns. They had a firefight and my friend was hit in the process and he died there. Everything is so sad lately.. I'm skipping school tomorrow just for the funeral. I often have mood swings (only between depressed and normal) and lately all i've been is depressed. Please give me some advice, not just "Go see a counselor or Go talk it out with my parents" as my Mom died a year ago due to cancer. Thank you all for your time.

First off, your alive. Count all the positives in your life, a friend dying? well don't make that about you. Grief and loss counseling is something you need. What you are experiencing is LIFE...a natural process.
You are in control of your future, no one else..
Yeah feel sorry for the situation, but not forever...
Normal Grief Reactions
When experiencing grief, it is common to:

Feel like you are "going crazy"
Have difficulty concentrating
Feel sad or depressed
Be irritable or angry (at the deceased, oneself, others, higher powers)
Feel frustrated or misunderstood
Experience anxiety, nervousness, or fearfulness
Feel like you want to "escape"
Experience guilt or remorse
Be ambivalent
Feel numb
Lack energy and motivation
your friend has a dad, who lost a son, go help him through his time of loss... suck it up butter cup, we all have loss in our lives, your not any different...
everyone who has a parent living will lose that parent, you will lose your siblings... thats life and nothing is forever or stays the same...
I say Stop feeling sorry for your self, get your ass in gear and go find your future.
oh and remember you think you have it tough... someone right now is fighting for their lives, battling cancer or aids...

I was beaten by my dad, molested continually from 4 yrs old till I was 12.... I have no parents, Im alone in the world... I was poor... often didnt have anything to eat...

reply to post by MbretM


Life is full of troubles....some come out of the blue...and some we make for ourselves. Some people are born with disabilities...some develop awful illnesses....etc...Some have awful upbringings and families. Other people ar plagues by addictions to drugs and alcohol or gambling or even worse things.
Knowing that much of life is out of our own control...we still seek to try to control as much of our fate as we think we can do.
Some people think meditation and prayer can help influence our luck...and that God might hear us and help us...I cant say for sure if thats possible...but its worth a try...
Because at least to steady yourself for a moment every day...and take time to be thankful that you have your health or a supportive family...or even food to eat and a roof over your head...helps a person to see that there are many things we overlook...and are not thankful for.what sustains us...rather we are usually ungrateful for all the many things we dont have...and desire for...
I dont know if this helps..but it helped me in life.
Your friend died...which is very sad...but on the other hand you are still alive..which you should be thankful for...Death is guaranteed, we all will die, and most of us will not choose to die, so we dont know how it will happen or when...but we all know it is inevitable.
Be thankful everyday...and things will start to brighten up in your life..maybe you wont get everything you desire now...but perhaps you will get a lot better things...because the best things in life are the things you never thought would happen to you...the things you never chased.

Originally posted by QUANTUMGR4V17Y
I hate to be the one to say it, friend, but you do need to go see a professional about this.

You need someone you can talk to, face to face, and get your feelings / thoughts off of your chest.

Going to see a "professional" will likely only make things worse.

There's no more dangerous activity than walking into a (witch) doctor's office... because modern medicine is neither an art nor a science, it's a religion

You are correct about one thing: The OP needs someone he can talk to face to face

There is only ONE "professional" that I can recommend: His name is Jesus.

I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said op.

But I would like to give you one big long motherly hug...and tell you to just keep on keepin on, and use some of the very wise suggestions from this thread.

(((((hug))))) ..hang in there ..there are good people in this world..and things will get better in time.

I dont know why, but I thought of this after reading that.



I was just feeling really sad for a multitude of reasons, and this cheered me up.

Dont worry, things will get better, trust me.

Take one day at a time. What you're experiencing is normal right now, just difficult. Do you like to read? Sometimes getting lost in the pages of a good book is a wonderful diversion. I wish you well. Big hug!!

I can relate! When I was a teenager wayyyy back in the 70s, my last two years of high school were really horrible.
I basically hated the world and everyone in it. People that I thought were my friends gave me a hard time. (much like you're describing)
I wondered WTF was the point to life.

It will get better. One thing that really, really helped me is that I got into going for long walks. 2-3 hour walks. I think the combination of the fresh air and the movement, the exercise might have generated some endorphine release.
(even though it was very short-lived, it still helped ) When you're walking, your mood changes. You're not sitting there dwelling on how bad things are.

Tough times can be a help, in the long run. The achin' and the breakin' is the makin' of the soul!

Behind the whole exasperating physical and emotional trip is something more.
Your spirit. You are Spirit.

Man gets tired, Spirit don't.
Man surrenders, Spirit won't.

As others have suggested, pray. Talk to God.
Also, feel free to message me if you want to talk further. You have friends here.

Originally posted by MbretM
I have reached my breaking point. I feel as if nobody cares for me, not even my family. I feel so lonely, i havent had a "real" relationship with anyone...i've had two day relationships before but then either she breaks it off for i do due to her being crazy. I feel the "Powers that Be" are against me, i have such bad luck socially. I have many friends but they all mess with me the most (They're my friends they just pick on me a lot). But on Thursday one of my best friends died. His dad was an ex-police officer and two guys that he put in jail got out and went to his house with guns. They had a firefight and my friend was hit in the process and he died there. Everything is so sad lately.. I'm skipping school tomorrow just for the funeral. I often have mood swings (only between depressed and normal) and lately all i've been is depressed. Please give me some advice, not just "Go see a counselor or Go talk it out with my parents" as my Mom died a year ago due to cancer. Thank you all for your time.

I think that you need some inspiration here let me help


reddit get motivated


Now i want you to get out there and start fighting for what you believe in show the people who run your life that you are not going to take it anymore and take back your life don't be like me and just hide it in and never fight for anything at all. and one more thing i have been there and back again and all i can say is

The only advice I can think of, is find an interest, something you like or used to like, that involves being around people, and immerse yourself in it. Breathe a little life back into yourself. It won't make the pain disappear, but it will help.

Or do something selfless. Volunteer for a charity or something in your spare time, the feeling you get is truly inspirational, and in turn you will assuredly meet a better kind of woman. One who is most likely not "crazy" but is kindhearted and good-natured.

I wish you the best of luck

Hi MbretM,

I'm glad you decided to post at ATS. There are all sorts of people here, and maybe someone will see an angle on things that you hadn't looked at - perhaps?

People here seem to be reasonably friendly - perhaps one will strike as helpful to you.

As for myself, I feel bad for you. I've used meditation to help me relieve my troubles, often enough. Though, I don't know that it would work the same for everyone.

I occasionally listen to that song that mentions something like this "When I'm feeling down, I'm looking down from someplace higher up". It helps remind me that if you feel down, then you are highly aware of someplace that is higher up.

There are other people in the world who suffer depression as well. I try helping other people myself. It helps me to see other people in worse condition. For some reason, it helps me justify my continued efforts at striving to stick around and kick the issue.

(If you look at my posts, you might come across a post on how and why I believe meditation works. You might also come across some posts that talk about the depressing state the world is in, and what is busy bugging it. It gives me something to kill time on, and it gives me a positive feeling, that I can help things improve when I work on those issues. Don't know if it will do the same for you - it is something that helps me - everyone's mileage varies).

I also get depressed when I think about the immediate issues surrounding myself and how insurmountable they seem. I find that it helps that I should think about the depression, as a cry for more time to deal with what I wish to deal with. It seems that I am lamenting the short while I have "pretended" to have to fix things... The moment I stop pretending, the more I think about taking my time to solve things.

Don't quote me... just dropping ideas that seem to help me. Everyone's mileage varies.

I find it helpful to find really smart and wise friends... That way, when I'm in a spot of trouble, I can bounce ideas off of other people. I'd like to think that I am as smart as anyone else (people really can't measure smartness, everyone's got a different disposition as well as different inputs from which to draw survival) - so I try to clear up my mind of any misconceptions. This helps me a lot -> if you hadn't noticed, a lot of people on this site speak of conspiracies etc... that means that they believe that we are in for trouble, if we aren't already - so you're in good hands here, because that is *very* depressing. But somehow people here are coping - and that is the key.

Hey bud,

I'm really sorry to hear about your troubles. I can't imagine how tough it must be for you.

I have somewhat superficial advice that may help you. It could at least take your mind off things, and at best change your life for real. You mentioned trouble with relationships. This will help in that department. it can give you something to work towards and it really does work.

YouTube the mystery method. It will you meet people and maybe that's what you need right now.

Depression is no fun. But it doesn't have to last forever.

The most important thing is actually taking that first and hardest step and getting help.
When I was a teenager, I was depressed too. I thought that I was dropping hints all of the time but my friends didn't pick up on it.

Being depressed causes your brain chemistry to change. That is why you feel like your friends joking around with you is them picking on you.
It is why you think your family, who would do anything for you, doesn't even know you are alive and doesn't care.
But they do.

I'm sorry you lost your friend. It is okay to hurt. It is okay to greive and it is okay to cry.

You can't and won't feel better overnight. The only way out of it, unless you go on medication (but meds only cover the pain, not cure the cause), is to take life day by day.

Hang out with your friends. Watch your favourite t.v. shows and listen to your favourite music. Watch comedy. Excercise.
Feed yourself food, not processed garbage.
Don't dwell on the negatives. Focus on the positives in your life.

And remember, you have your whole life to find that someone special. But women are not attracted to guys that hate themselves. They are drawn to confidence.
When you are happy and secure with yourself, probably not tomorrow, the next day or the next.. when you concentrate on the things you love and are happy and not looking, you won't be able to keep the women off of you- promise.

Life is never fair. Only you are responsible for how you deal with things. You can choose to keep being the victim, or you can look for help.

you cannot rise out of the ashes as a pheonix, if first you dont commit to the fire.

the more you precieve things as "happening to you" specifically, the more it will mess with your head. no one is really ever that popular in"school" hell i had tons of friends in school, but really only 5 i could trust, was on all kinds of sports teams, clubs ect ect but always felt i didnt have friends. if the friends you have "pick on you" get rid of them, if they are actually joking with you and you are just sensative, well thats a different story. just tell them hey that hurts my feelings next time they "pick on you" if they make fun of you for having hurt feelings then obviously they are not friends. plus i assume you are refering to high school/middle school since the skipping part. GUY ITS HIGH SCHOOL ITS SUPPOSED TO SUCK lol if it was fun and everyone got along people would stay back a couple years on purpose.

as far as the walk of life, we all have to go sometime and no one gets to choose when, well accept for the weak maybe ^^ death hurts, always will, that part is hard and sad, you just kinda have to take a deep breath and realise its just another crappy part of life,babies die, mothers gving babies die, baby bunnies die(specially when i eat them ^^) "i mean just imagince , you put your little deer lips to the water to take a sip, AND BAM SOMEONE BLOWS YOU F ING HEAD OFF" (my cousin vinnie hehe) baby bambis die all the time, people saving other peoples lives die, 3500 people died just going to work one morning not to long ago. death is just part of that circle. counselers sounds gay but sometimes it really does help to talk, if you have a local college sometimes those counselers will help those that arent in that school, and most healthcare programs will pay for most of counselling.

either way chin up you have a long long road ahead and who knows you might be the next bill gate, warren buffet, ect ect.

reply to post by MbretM

I'll be brief. Do see a shrink and get yourself some meds. They work. Go for walks somewhere scenic. Keep a journal. Talk to it like you would your friend.

Hopefully you like books. If you don't, I urge you to discover them. They are a world within a world and will help you survive and grow. Read anything you can get your hands on. U2U me with your interests. I'll get together a reading list for you.

Listen to good music. It lifts the spirit.

You are not alone. Many have walked in your shoes.