To Trust or Not to Trust

It seems in this day and age, that being a trusting person, is not the wisest way to be.

People who are on positions of power, lie ,and manipulate for agendas we are often not aware of. This not only applies in the upper echelons, but in all walks of life as well.

Motivations behind lying, have a broad range, and can go from someone lying for good reasons, as in to protect the life of someone else, to silly and shallow reasons such as attention and ego,just plain childish kicks that some get pulling the wool over others eyes to much darker reasons of hatred, revenge, and covering up very nefarious activities.

In this day and age when information, and digital pics can be shared so easily, and very anonymously I have learned some valuable lessons about trust.

I've never been a face book user, or shared pics of myself on dating sites, etc, and mostly because I couldn't be bothered with either of them, but have shared pics of myself, with someone who I thought I loved, as well as a few online friends. I have regretted those choices ever since, and I won't go into the details on this thread of why.

Because of the very hateful tactics of those who may feel slighted by a few words, I vowed I would never post another pic of myself online, and quite honestly I hate having my picture taken by anyone anymore.

Sometimes people are very untrustworthy not because of silly petty revenge, but for pure selfishness.This happened to me with a woman friend that I was developing a friendship with. As I got to know her better, I came to find out that she was bisexual (though in a relationship with a male and living with him)...and they had somewhat of an open relationship. I have my own personal feelings about this sort of lifestyle, and eventually the friendship faded, not just because of those reasons, but because she had characteristics I would not want in a friend.

She had made a habit of ALWAYS wanting to take my picture when I was visiting , and I didn't think anything of it at the time. Well, it came to be that she was using it as a profile pic on what I consider to be some very sleazy sites.

So I guess my point is this..can we really trust the pics we see on the net? I know there are still some very trustworthy people who wouldn't stoop to such levels, but I worry about them, because they don't know what the pictures they share with strangers could and will be used for. You can't even trust people you know nowadays, much less strangers.

How do we really know who is behind these avatars , and who hasn't hacked into someones facebook, or just started an account using pics from somewhere else, or highjacked pics from this site for their own agendas.

It makes me very sad to think this way, because I know there are a lot of good decent people in this world, who would never stoop to the levels that others do..but I worry about them, because some are very trusting, and I am not so sure there is wisdom in trusting in this day and age.

Geez, anyone can take a pic of you nowadays, without your knowledge from a cell phone , at a concert, restaurant, wherever, and you have no power over what that image will be used for.

I'm sorry if I'm sounding to paranoid, but it comes from experience, and what I have read, and been told about has happened to others.

I want to trust very much, and still do to an extent, yet I am saddened by the dishonesty , and levels some people stoop to, to satisfy their own agendas.

Maybe I should have put this in the rant forum, if mods want to change it...its all good.

To make things even worst, The economy most country are in are not looking so bright for people looking for work, witch id assume would create more desirable motives knock out competition when it comes to business or buying & selling, This is where the real problem starts.

Originally posted by FeelingPure
To make things even worst, The economy most country are in are not looking so bright for people looking for work, witch id assume would create more desirable motives knock out competition when it comes to business or buying & selling, This is where the real problem starts.

Hmm..that could be a factor in some of the dishonesty, but quite frankly I don't think that is where the whole problem starts.

The kind of lies and deceit I am referring to started way before the economies ever tanked, and had much to do with the technological advancement, especially with digital photos, as well as the anonymity of the net.

The darker side of humanity I guess.

Not saying that anonymity is a bad thing, but when used in conjunction with deceit, and other nefarious agendas, it has helped many with bad intentions.

reply to post by WhisperingWinds


I hear your cry there are so many charlatans and dishonest people who will befreind
you in order to gain personal infomation in order to steal your passwords bank details etc.
I was a victim of it and have been stalked too.

There is so many scams out there one has to be carefull i was also stalked three times
On a dating site. That too can happen but i am more the wiser, i think you have to be
in this day and age.

The scammers are everywhere Sometimes people will try to sway you onto there sites
after building your trust.

Alot of scams involving all sorts one has to be carefull these people will go to great lengths
some will try to win over your heart with beauty to lower your guard.

I can spot them a mile off now but my advice to anyone is everything is a gamble
but make sure you can trust them as wolfs come in sheeps clothing..

If anyone thinks that they may be a victim or smell somethings up pm me i will
help i am an expert at solving issues like these..

P.S denver22 peace be carefull

reply to post by WhisperingWinds

Some will try to be dishonest for attention some for money some by other means...

reply to post by denver22

If anyone thinks that they may be a victim or smell somethings up pm me i will help i am an expert at solving issues like these.. P.S denver22 peace be carefull

Thank you for you sharing a bit of what you have gone through, as well as the generous offer to help others who feel victimized.

There is a difference between being 'trusting' and 'gullible'. A large majority of people do not trust because of fear. Trust requires an open mind and a discerning heart. However, these are not innate traits and must be learned through practice.

People that base trust on logical fallacy are the ones who wind up getting hurt.

reply to post by WhisperingWinds


I suppose the answer is: you don't know who really is behind the avatar, fb account etc unless you personally know that person. I have laughed out loud on occasion regarding the psychology behind avatars...call me old fashioned but I always felt they were silly. Another layer of nice clothes to create an image...

Regarding using your pic in nefarious ways, it has not happend to me. I know that it could, and it is distressing to know how many people simply don't care or think about consequences of doing something to someone like that. The fact I have put myself up on Ytube etc doing some pretty bad acting etc, I suppose I deserve what I get. In the end, I don't really care what strangers think of me - I have always been that way. Those who know me, know me. I like to look good, but it only defines me in that I take some pride in my appearance - said I write this in sweats and sweatshirt with knee length red soccer socks.

In your case with the gal that used your pic to "promote" her agenda, good thing you are no longer friends. I've always been lucky in that I have a group of friends who I have known for a long time. When I went through some very, very, ugly times, I was fortunate that all of them stuck by me, knowing my character. The stories told by one individual did some damage, but ultimately the only ones who I really care about trusted me. I guess my point is that unless you are personally damaged ie: lose a job or firendships, whatever. People will always do what they need to do when they are not mature or caring individuals. It speaks of them louder than the image they are trying to create. Bummer we live in such a superficial world.

CJ

Originally posted by ConspiracyBuff
There is a difference between being 'trusting' and 'gullible'. A large majority of people do not trust because of fear. Trust requires an open mind and a discerning heart. However, these are not innate traits and must be learned through practice.

People that base trust on logical fallacy are the ones who wind up getting hurt.

I think you break it down much to simply ..and this is not about bashing the so called "gullible", because quite frankly I think those who trust have a beautiful quality in them, but it worries me how it can be misused.

So you are saying that I was gullible for letting what I thought was a female friend take innocent pics of me?

Should I have discerned that she would use them for her own purposes, right at the beginning of her wanting to take pics ?

Should I go up and snatch the cell phone out of every hand that decides they want a pic of me, wherever that might be?

I don't think you are getting my point...at all.

reply to post by WhisperingWinds
So far, for me, the idea of someone being dishonest about themselves online has only been a source of amusement. But I've never had a online feud with anyone.

I must admit that I'm probably a little free and loose with the photos, I have a facebook account that I post in about once every couple of months. But I do have some photos posted there. In real life I'm very social and the idea of having my photo online has never really bothered me.

I've never been to a dating site, only been a member in one forum before ATS, (Harley Davidson owners) and never developed a relationship with anyone I've met online.
Is there an easy way to find out if photos of me are being used somewhere? If I found one randomly appearing in some forum, I'm not sure how I would feel about it. I've gotten very used to having my photo taken, I've been with my photographer hubby for over 13 years, and sometimes he gets a new photo of me he sends them to family and friends. So I'm sure there are plenty of them out there.
Can you give me an example of how a (innocent) photo of me could be used against me? I'm probably naive about it but my business life is established so that is not a problem, my relationship is solid so no worry there.
I guess the main problem I could imagine is someone using a photo of me and representing it as themselves. But if I was suspicious of someone posting photos that I thought was not them I would probably ask them to post a photo of themselves doing something specific that could be posted within seconds of the request.
I'm surprised more people don't do that. You know like holding that days news paper while flashing a peace sign or something.

Good subject WW, s&f

reply to post by tanda7


In reply, consider that perhaps your innocent picture is used on a website to generate ad-click revenue....
or added to a fictious story posted on some nefarious blog somewhere...
used to entice people to join an online "support group" or other such (bogus) activity....
there are many ways the unscrupulous can "tarnish" your image online that may get recognized by people that you care about.

ganjoa

reply to post by tanda7

So far, for me, the idea of someone being dishonest about themselves online has only been a source of amusement. But I've never had a online feud with anyone.

Doesn't take an online feud, for some all it takes is a few words of disagreeing with them, or something even more petty, such as your "religious" beliefs.

I don't find anything amusing about someone pretending to be somebody they aren't, in real life, or on the net, unless it is for the purpose of catching criminals , and gathering evidence, such as LE going undercover . That being said there are those in LE that need to be caught for their criminal activity as well.

Funny you should mention photographers, because I've heard there are many seedy ones. The unfortunate thing that many people don't realize about them is that they own the rights to the photos they take, and have stacks to choose from to impersonate young pretty women online, and even if it is for sh*** and giggles..its very low.

Unfortunately , it is a crazy world, with all sorts who get their cheap thrills for various reasons. Because of this I have become a much less trusting person , and I think I am much wiser for it.

Originally posted by ganjoa
reply to post by tanda7

 

In reply, consider that perhaps your innocent picture is used on a website to generate ad-click revenue....
or added to a fictious story posted on some nefarious blog somewhere...
used to entice people to join an online "support group" or other such (bogus) activity....
there are many ways the unscrupulous can "tarnish" your image online that may get recognized by people that you care about.

ganjoa

Well put ganjoa , many families have been hurt by the cruel and malicious intent of others , or simply by those who seem to get that cheap thrill of being dishonest.

I've even seen family photos put in the "post a funny picture" forum here online, to be ridiculed and laughed at by others, because the family was considered less than normal looking, or unattractive in some way.

They say you reap what you sow, or there is such as a thing as karma...I guess time will tell.

reply to post by WhisperingWinds
You make some good points. Something for me to think about.


I've googled my name before to see what's out there but how can I search for an image of myself, especially if the photo doesn't have my name on it?

Also, why don't more people ask for the proof like I described? Have you ever asked for such a thing?

Originally posted by tanda7
reply to post by WhisperingWinds

 

You make some good points. Something for me to think about.


I've googled my name before to see what's out there but how can I search for an image of myself, especially if the photo doesn't have my name on it?

Also, why don't more people ask for the proof like I described? Have you ever asked for such a thing?

Actually I have once... but who's to say they didn't give the sign to someone else to hold up with the words written on it that I requested ? Some people who want to fool others, will go to any measure to do so, and can use friends to help them, or lie to others to gain a means to continue the manipulations.

What makes a pic of someone holding a sign anymore trustworthy if it was created by an untrustworthy person?

reply to post by WhisperingWinds

So that would mean they would have to have the "model" fooled about what they wanted the photo for, or the "model" would have to be in on it. If you demanded photos within seconds of the request, then that would mean the "model" would have to be very accessible.

I guess the only way to be sure would be some sort of live video chat? Or can that be trusted?




BTW are you familiar with the movie "Catfish"

Originally posted by tanda7
reply to post by WhisperingWinds

 

So that would mean they would have to have the "model" fooled about what they wanted the photo for, or the "model" would have to be in on it. If you demanded photos within seconds of the request, then that would mean the "model" would have to be very accessible.

I guess the only way to be sure would be some sort of live video chat? Or can that be trusted?

edit on 21-10-2012 by tanda7 because: sp

edit on 21-10-2012 by tanda7 because: (no reason given)

BTW are you familiar with the movie "Catfish"

edit on 21-10-2012 by tanda7 because: (no reason given)

I wasn't referring to models as in the literal sense, such as models that a photographer will take pictures of, but as in someone who is taking a false pic, and using a friend or acquaintance as a 'model", who may or may not be informed of the real reason why. I think that is what you meant as well.

I think live video chat is the best way to know for sure that you are actually talking to the person who's pic you have been given. BUT...that doesn't mean to say that they are telling the truth in chat..but of course you already knew that.

No ..I'm not familiar with the movie "catfish", but I vaguely remember hearing something about it at some point. I'll have to google it, to refresh my memory. I'm guessing it is a creepy thriller type based on the nature of some things discussed in this thread.

reply to post by tanda7

BTW are you familiar with the movie "Catfish"

lol..googled it, and I remember watching a documentary about it...just didn't remember the name of it.

It was well received at the 2010 Sundance Film Festival, if I'm correct....and it wasn't creepy thriller at all..but very pertinent to what we are discussing here.

Thanks for mentioning it.

reply to post by WhisperingWinds

Yeah, the reason I put model in the quotes is because of the loose nature of my use of the word.

The movie is a documentary that is enthralling. Not scary at all but for me, very eye opening.
I highly recommend it. It pretty much sums up the subject and follows through to a satisfactory conclusion of outing the responsible person perfectly. Then at the end a parable told by the husband of the offender that is sublime.

Originally posted by tanda7
reply to post by WhisperingWinds

 

Yeah, the reason I put model in the quotes is because of the loose nature of my use of the word.

The movie is a documentary that is enthralling. Not scary at all but for me, very eye opening.
I highly recommend it. It pretty much sums up the subject and follows through to a satisfactory conclusion of outing the responsible person perfectly. Then at the end a parable told by the husband of the offender that is sublime.

Thanks..I must have been editing my previous post as you were posting..and I do agree wholeheartedly...a must see.