posted on Oct, 21 2012 @ 04:59 PM
Someone earlier asked what it is like for the family of an unmedicated bi-polar.
Well, the highs start with rising early and full of energy for the person with bi-polar. They become quite sociable and get lots of stuff done. At
the beginning of the manic cycle, I'd wake up to a clean garage or pantry, thank the person, only to be screamed at "now keep it that way." As the
manic cycle increased productivity at work increased and proposals made for grand projects. The bi-polar would become endeared by the boss,
especially as work went from early AM to late PM with a cheerful attitude at work. At home, life became hell. The screaming and rages would begin.
One never knew what would set a rage off, it could be as simple as saying "oh your home late" when arriving home at 9 or 10 PM, and then the
response might be a screaming tirade on how hard they work and how they are underappreciated and how you and the kids are just leeches. The kids
became upset, because the manic would want to play but become enraged at the slightest childish thing the kids did. When confronted, the bipolar
would say, I don't know what you are talking about I'm in a great mood, its you guys screwing everything up.
Work got the cheerful and upbeat manic side, home got the manic beast because they can't unload on the boss or co-workers. The non-manic spouse
gets called lazy for going to bed so early and getting up so late, when in reality it is the manic who is going to bed at midnight and getting up at
3AM. And the manic screams and rages, then forgets how much the spouse is hurt and doesn't even realize they were screaming and raging (they
don't even see it in themselves) and demands sex and pouts that they aren't loved and how the partner isn't sexually up to it anymore.
Then come the even times, the normal times, I'd pray for those times and yet be on edge because I never knew what was coming next. The bipolar
doesn't go up then down then up. The bipolar can go up, come to normal, and go back up or vice versa. There isn't a true pattern to predict what
was next. The stress was enormous waiting to see who I'd be married to the next day.
Then the depressive times, At the beginning and end of the depressive times, my bipolar was sweet, easy to get along with at home, the kids and I
loved being around. It was the beginning and end of the depressive times that made it worth staying together. I guess I was kinda in the classic
cycle of "violence" even though there was just emotional violence rather than physical.
Work couldn't really tell a difference, but the beginning/ending depressive would go to work at regular times, come home at regular times and sleep
at regular times. The boss would say guess you are just worn out from all your hard work. Then would come the sobbing, crying, pleading baby stage.
My depressive would actually get physically ill and call in sick, with all the productivity during the high times, there would just be sympathy and
hope you are well soon from the boss. Life would be couch, tv, life isn't worth living, no getting dressed, and constant pleading for forgiveness
for the rages in the manic phase. The worst would be having to carry out the grand plans made during the manic phase when the depressive could barely
How no one at work ever caught on is beyond me. The bosses always loved him.
Finally at retirement there was an acceptance of the need for medication and now we are living a normal life. There are complaints about how the
medication makes the bipolar feel, but I feel I deserve a normal and placid life after putting up with all I did for all those years, and making
excuses for the bipolar and helping the bipolar hide it from work. Our marriage is now fantastic and I'm glad I stuck with it. The kids turned out