posted on Oct, 21 2012 @ 10:45 AM
I'm bi-polar too. I tend to get manic much more than depressed, but when I do get down it sucks. I used to do a lot of self-destructive things too,
until I learned to recognize the cycle. I tried a bunch of meds, over the years, but I can't stand the weight gain and feeling not myself. I did
the best on Topomax, but my work is in computers and I need my brain, so I couldn't stay on it for long. I did not like feeling numb and like I was
losing my personality. I actually love the "magic time" part of the mania, it is when it gets "peaky" that I hate it. I start to feel very
fragmented and the racing thoughts cause a lot of anxiety.
Anyway, the past fourteen years I have been exercizing and eating a healthy diet and it has made a huge difference. I have not been on any regular
meds since my early thirties, I only take an anti-anxiety med as needed, which is usually on plane trips or every once in a while. I know it is hard
to eat healthy if you are strapped for cash, but you might try to increase your veggies and protein and skip soda pop and just try to make the little
changes that you can afford. If you live somewhere with weather that permits, try walking and work your way up to running - that is free. If your
weather is not so good, see if you can find an inexpensive gym or take a class - usually the city you live in will have community services programs
that offer some classes like martial arts or zumba for less than through a regular gym. Or, pick up some used exercise tapes and try working out at
home. Just some ideas, for you, if you are thinking about how to get off the meds.