What you are reading are just words on as screen. They may or may not come across to you as genuine or even cogent. Such is the nature of text based
communication. But for me? These words, and almost all of the words I post to ATS, are as close to "stream of consciousness" as one can get in such an
environment. Sure, I sometimes have to find external content and sources - that much has to be contrived. Pictures and little ironic or mood setting
video clips are contrived as well. But as for posts like this? They are typed nearly as fast as my mind can think of them. Even though I can type
about eighty or ninety words per minute - my fingers are still frustratingly slow when compared to the words they are trying to keep up with. This is
why I tend to typo. Even though I am watching the words hit the screen, as they are typed, my eyes aren't really paying much attention. My mind is
focused upon forging the words together - and not much else.
Tonight my stream of consciousness has me at the same point it has been at for the past few days. For what it's worth, I've had a pretty damned
interesting life. In one of his poems Jim Morrison asked "Did you have a good world when you died? -enough to base a movie on??” My reply is,
honestly "By the time I was twenty - and at least three sequels since. I've seen some crazy things. I've done some even crazier things. I lost the
ability to blush a very long time ago - and not much shocks me. Not much provokes me to emotion. But over the past two or three months? I have found
myself emotionally provoked and my jaw, literally, gaped open not just every once in awhile, but several times per day, every day.
The world has gone insane and, apparently, only insane people have the capacity to see it.
Most of the time I would write such thoughts off to spending too much time on ATS - and I'd run off to read straight news, or catch up on movies or TV
shows. That is usually the remedy for the symptoms of ATS over indulgence. In fact, for the last week or two, I've been doing a LOT of that. It hasn't
helped a single iota. The world still seems like it is going batsnot nutso. And it's getting exponentially worse with each passing day.
Click one thread and Iran is the last bastion of freedom on the entire planet - with an armada of stars and flags to show a LOT of public support for
that statement. Click the next, and it is a thread explaining that Iran is the most evil country on the planet - with an equal number of accolades and
little tokens of support. Republicans are going to sabotage the entire economy if Obama is elected. Democrats are going to burn the country down if
Romney is elected... again, all to much public support in both cases. The rhetoric has tuned up to a war drum intensity - I've argued with people on
the right who want to eliminate all taxes and say "to hell with the poor - let them work if they want to live". Then I've seen the far left reply with
equally as polarized and rhetorical, empty jingoism. The
namaste crowd is convinced that we've got roughly two months before we either all die,
are transmigrated into higher forms, become big balls of musical energy, or God knows what else. The survivalists are comparing their large bore guns
and planning to ruck their generators and squirrel jerky making equipment into caves to ride it all out. And the human race, on the whole, appears to
be acting like the cast of a very hard R rated zombie flick. We are ripping the flesh from each other, psychologically speaking... and not giving the
first flat damn about any of it.
The entire freaking planet is like a powder keg and it seems like every Tom, Dick, Harry, Jane, and Sue has a sudden urge to strike every match they
can find.
What the bloody Hell is going on? I've been in more fights than I can count. Violent, dangerous, extreme street and bar fights. I've even been in a
riot. I've had more guns pointed at me than I can even begin to number, and not once did I feel a single tinge of rear. But now? Now I stop, breath
deeply, and truly do feel worried. It is like "they" have put something in the water... something designed to make us all turn on one another with the
ferocity and absolute abandon of caged and starved beasts. Could it be all the Prozac flushed down into the toilets, mixing with whatever other
chemicals and heavy metals we were already consuming? Could it be that our own genes can see what monsters we are becoming and are setting us to auto
destruct for the betterment of this world and whoever might survive the fallout of a planet gone insane? Could some group of idiot savants be sitting
in some secret lab somewhere, calibrating all of our electronic devices to resonate in frequencies that affect us in some unknown way? A case of short
sighted Pavlovs giving their dogs rabies just to see what happens next?
Maybe it's just as simple as media wanting our constant attention but having ZERO understanding of what the garbage they feed us might to do our
humanity.
I've said it before on ATS, and I'll say it again now. I joke about being crazy fairly often - and post about the reality of my illness, when it's
applicable and I feel it might help others. In these posts I sometimes say that God gave me a gift for seeing patterns. It's the truth. I have a hard
time, often, focusing on single subjects, due to racing thoughts and a sort of egocentric - but detached POV. But the patterns... they appear as
abstractions to me, like fuzzy objects. And I am very good at making out the underling shapes. Couple that talent or gift with a life of experiences
that fall outside of the norms and listen to my warning.
A storm is coming. It's on the horizon already. How fast it moves, I cannot say. But it seems to be moving fast. It's a hate filled, absolutist, blind
and prejudicial storm that wants blood. It want human sacrifice. It wants to watch us revert to our primitive state and to rip each other limb from
limb. It wants to mock us and laugh at our folly.
Most conversation, for several months running around here, has been about picking sides. About polarizing. About being part of a team. Take it from a
twisted, scarred, and battle hardened soul. Divided we wont' just fall. Divided we will be the mechanism of our own demise.
A website filled with people who fear the Georgia guidestones and the words inscribed upon them... and yet seemingly bound and determined to make
those words come true... and all for something as petty and pointless as dogma and rhetoric.
Maybe the freaking Mayans did know something that we don't yet understand. Maybe the tried to warn us. Meh, then again, maybe their crappy warning has
burrowed so deep into our psyches that we're going to make it happen just to have something to talk about. Something more exciting than the newest
movie, or hip new show.
Pride cometh before a fall....
Folks, look around. Most of us are awfully damned proud. And the earth is going to shake and rivers of blood will flow when our individual pedestals
begin that domino effect collapse.
Are we really this easy to defeat? To turn against our own.
To Hell with parties, and religions, and borders, and fear, and rhetoric, and allowing the rich to make the rules. If we don't remember that we're all
one big family? Well, then we'll be lucky to come out the other side of this one small family.
It's time to let it all go and find each of our own still, small voices. There's too much at stake.
~Heff
edit on 10/19/12 by Hefficide because: OK... more than the one predicted typo... I hate proofreading. Lemme alone, I do have OCPD