Originally posted by 03Smoker
So....where do we begin? Here's my story....
I wasn't raised in a Christian home. My dad wasn't by any means and my mom wasn't because of him. At 10 years of age they divorced. Oh well on my
part. My Papaw on my dad's side told him as long as she took care of us boys, my brother and I, she could live in the house as long as she wanted. My
Papaw owned the land the house was on. After a couple of years my mom started dating. Nothing wrong with that. The man she chose was a die hard
Christian. After a while she wanted my brother and I to go to church with them. That wasn't my thing. Needless to say I was kicked out at the ripe
old age of 14 because I "didn't follow their rules". Her arguement was "my house my rules" mine was "Its Papaw's house and you don't pay the
bills." She didn't. Papaw paid everything other than a home phone that I never used. At 14 years old on November 14 1998 I moved in with my Papaw.
On the 15th he told my mom to GTFO. She moved away with my brother.
Honestly, I'm over this now. Here's where it gets into God and the such. I didn't believe. For a long time. At least 20 years as I'm only 28 now.
You could say most of my life. Back in Feb. 2012 I went to a men's home for my drinking that I have been doing since I was 20. I drank every night 7
days a week. It was Christ based. I balked and fought the whole way there but settled for it for 30 days instead of 60 days in jail. Not a hard
choice. At the home I found God. I met a lot men there that had had their lives truly changed thru the power of Jesus Christ. I wanted to be one of
After 7 months from being there I struggle with the whole God thing. I do see His works in my day to day life, but if anything goes wrong like it does
in life for anyone, I can't see the point of giving God the glory. It seems He wants the praise for the good things but if something goes wrong He
throws his hands up saying "Not my fault". Why is that?
I'm not posting this to troll or go against God. I want people here to help me and reaffirm my faith. To let me know that the changes I want in my
life are the right things. How am I to know? What if I'm doing this all wrong and I just don't know it. While I was at the home and praying 6-7
hours per day I felt like I could hear God speaking to me. Now that I'm back to my hometown and I honestly don't pray like I did and I feel lost. I
guess I could get back to that but life takes over. I have a job and bills to worry about. I can't devote most of my day to prayer. I guess I could
but child support would want to know where the money is. ATS is full of great people and I know someone has gone thru this and can give me advice on
how to handle this.
its crap isnt it, this life.
Its all crap and hopeless, it holds nothing and the scary thing is we have God. In fact being Christian makes it more crap and harder because so many
more questions arise, and people hate us.
God does want the glory for the good things and it seems when bad things happen He wants us to thank Him for them as well. Whats with that.
It seems compounded by everything and then theology rises its ugly stupid head some time. Thats crap as well.
Funny thing is the bible states clearly that its supposed to be that way. Go read how the apostles all died. Go read the trials they went through, go
read Foxes book of martyrs.
Take a look what they did to Jesus.
See the promise isnt for now, the sermon on the mount is to those who suffer, we are expected to suffer, we are going to suffer.
Gods promise is for His kingdom to come, this is the world here and now.
the church lie when they say lollipops and roses. Its a crap sandwich, its a broken world, broken people and it is getting far worse.
We are told it will. hang on, the Christian message is "have faith when things turn to crap". There is a reason for that message, things turn to
So just thank God for the good and bad, just have faith that He knows what he is doing. Most of all wait on His return and our rescue.
The promise is not for now, its for the soon. Rely on Him, dont rely on yourself.
Well done given up the drink, big hard step. Well done.