posted on Oct, 18 2012 @ 01:30 PM
Has anyone here experienced this before? It runs in my family; my mom has had it, and my uncle continues to sometime deal with it. I've experienced
it no more then 4 or 5 times in my life, but every time it is quite psychotic in nature, and extremely discomforting.
First, or rather, when it begins, you wake from your sleep and you find yourself pacing back and forth across your room or house. In your mind, there
is something terrible, but you cannot quite say what it is, because what you perceive and the feeling produced - the idea that some 'imminent'
danger is around, cannot be transformed into logical terms. Its purely in the 'attraction' that the irrational thought has logical validity, that
you worry and pace.
Another odd feature of night terrors is the odd connection between the idea of 'quantity' and 'quality'. I remember having one awhile back where
once I got up, I woke my mother up and I started explaining to her in a medical type fashion the irrationality of this idea in my mind of some
connection between quantity and quality. Of course by itself this means nothing. It's in the panic and fear that some 'quality' exists; in my mind,
I experience some highly explosive emotional form - a quality - which impinges on my mind a feeling of imminent dread, some causal connection between
it and something in this world i.e quantity. What I feel is an effort of some 'thing' to cause me to act in some harmful way, in effect,
transferring itself from a mode of pure 'quality' into a state of quantitative possibility.
Fortunately, I am far too aware to not realize the sheer insanity of the worry, so it only last at most 3 or 4 minutes before I can calm myself down
and separate myself from the memory of the experience.
A deeper question I have is, "what" is the content which drives me into awaking, and then worrying? It feels very much as if I were being possessed.
Of course, there are somatic factors (such as lack of sleep and overall bodily tiredness being prerequisites; it only happens if I'm particularly
tired and stressed out) which lead to the experience, but outside the somatic, or psychogenic explanation (such as persisting worries of fears), could
there also be an ontological aspect as well???
In terms of experience, it is just me - the individual consciousness, and the force of some 'entity', irrational, or demonic in nature, which
seduces the conscious mind into reflecting upon it's qualitative power. After the initial experience, there is this seduction factor, where you
'want' to return and understand what the thought was - but you know this is a diabolical ruse designed to trap you in the web of its power.
I think this experience is an interesting example of purely spiritual experience...of a demonic nature. I wonder if this 'thing' which I experience
is actually something which has formed over life; for example, if you have a stress or phobia about a particular thing, if you were ever made weak
enough (since physical weakness seems to be a 'base' which the night terror grows from), what you experience in the night terror is merely the
transmogrification of the content of the 'phobia' or 'worry' into a content of conscious experience.
A balancing factor is the influence of the conscious mind, which can recognize, and then separate itself from the content of the worry. But in other
cases, such as in the psychotic, the conscious mind or ego is sufficiently 'subsumed' so to speak, by the power of the 'unconscious' content. In
short, the sane person who experiences night terrors (and there is no connection between night terror and mental illness), he can recognize and then
distant himself from the content: he is an active force. In the schizophrenic, or psychotic, they are already 'passive' minded, being worked upon
and used as a 'vessel' for some irrational content, without any conscious freedom to separate themselves. from it.
I mention this because the ego acts as a stabilizer. It 'saves' the mind from the fear and anxiety of the content. Many psychologists have termed
schizophrenia as the 'anticipation of death'. In short, the ego is already truncated and the contents of their unconscious flow in. In
schizophrenia, we may have an intimation of the afterlife state where the ego 'dies' i.e a state where self awareness dissolves, and what is left
are the 'contents' of ones life experiences. The essentially 'evil' or destructive experiences of life need to exhaust their energetic content,
which they do by tormenting the deceased 'consciousness'; but the "consciousness", is similar to the consciousness one experiences in the
beginning state of a night terror, or what the schizophrenic constantly deals with: you are passive, while the 'content' is active. This is what
religions call 'hell'.