On aging and depression about it

I don't know if I'm the only one who has noticed this, but it seems to me like every generation acts younger and younger. I don't know why this is, but this is what I have noticed.

As cliche as it might sound, age really is just a number. My mother is in her early 50s and she still acts like she's in her 20s. The other day when I visited her I noticed two CDs in her vehicle, one was Nevermind by Nirvana, and the other was Combat Rock by The Clash I also once met a 76 year old university biology professor who is a huge fan of Family Guy LOL.

There's no need to worry about it. It's all to do with how you feel up here *pokes head* not what your birth certificate says. Don't believe me? These guys are in their 50s and still have the energy of 20 year olds.

reply to post by sarra1833


I had emotional termoil when I turned 40, however through my 40's I truely absorbed what my pre 40's experiences had taught me. I realized this decade of my life as a time if reflecting. I became the age of 51 in september.Becomming That age bothered me more then 50, but that morning as I woke to be 51 my very 1st thoughts were, Well (my name insurted here) you are a Adult now. You are literally as old as you feel, my age looks like an,old age but im just begging my adult life P.s ive had a semi successful life, average me average life.

Originally posted by Hefficide
reply to post by sarra1833

 

I kept that lifestyle up until my 41st birthday. That night, after leaving the club, my actual "party" was attended by about fifteen to twenty people. One was 28 years old. The rest were between 18 and about 25.

That was the first night I think I really noticed it...

You and my husband sound a lot alike in all seriousness Heff. Im a little older than he is.. and when he turned about 35 or so we we had a bunch of friends over and were watching a game.. there was a commercial that had some girl like Tila Tequia or someone and one of our friends was raving about her. The husband says she looks like a child and gave him the heebie jeebies to think of her like that ( probably helps we have 3 daughters..). They went back and forth.. I went to walk the dog. BUT.. at that moment I thought.. awww he grew up! I think it hit him kinda hard.. and sudden. I guess thats when the 2nd stage of our lives together started and to be honest.. Im enjoying this stage a lot! We are on the same page now and we are a much more cohesive team.

Oh and dont even try to tell me you are all grown up now Mr Hefficide... you have still retained some bratty boy in you... maybe a LOT. BUT in a good way. There are those "manboys" out there that sometimes I think they should just be neutered.

reply to post by sarra1833



I dont think your experiences are all that different from other women.I dont feel my age, I do things that a old mom and wife wouldnt have a generation ago, and I really dont think Ive changed much since I was in my 20's .. other than being more calm and in control. My wants and interests are damned near the same, but have expanded. My grandmother and I were talking a few yrs ago and she sid she still felt like she was 18 or 19 .. in her mind.. but her body had went a different direction.

I think at this point in my own life.. I am able to be "younger" than I was previously. I went to cellege straight from highschool and never had a day that I didnt work or have responsibilities. I only quit a regular job a few yrs ago for several reasons, but went nutty and had to work and do physical things to keep settled. I do more now sports wise than I did when I was in my 20's and 30's. There was a hump there when I wasnt working that I thought.. is this all there is? This is IT?? Now I just await old age and death?? Well in a way I was.. because I had nothing I was doing but being a housewife... and face it, these days being a house wife just isnt plowing the field and milking the cows. What completely pulled me out of that was physical activities.I also would swear I look better now than I did just a few yrs ago! That whole stagnant mind and body = rotting away sorta thing. Maybe that weird feeling we get at certain ages is an indication that we should venture out in a new direction.. take some risks. In my case.. it was the silver bullet.

reply to post by sarra1833


Stop being such a sheep like I was, OP. I'm turning 40 over Thanksgiving weekend. I know it'll really put the thanks in my birthday. I met my boyfriend three years ago, coming out of a divorce. He was bright, cute, funny, compatable, and twenty-freaking-four to my 37. Never having shown follower tendencies before, I suddenly worried about every single thing that could torment a woman in my position, from social and economic issues, to marital and reproductive consequences. After making myself nauseous for a few months, I decided to be the same old devil-may-care-go-*&$%-yourself-if-you-don't-like-my-party party girl I'd always been. And while there were folks who were negative, I took the opportunity to eject them from my life in order to make space for people who were more fun. And all of my concerns regarding immaturity were addressed the day I arrived home from work to find that he'd begun an overhaul of my second floor. From plaster to paint to carpet tacks, that man ran circles around my dream guy, for he's the unofficial spawn of Bob Vila and Robert Pattenson [could two men pro-create].

When I quit smoking in March, I was still being carded. DNA does afford some quite the wild ride - just enjoy it!!!! When you have your moment of "no more" like Heff alluded to, call me. We'll go drinking and fix that right up.

reply to post by sarra1833


Tickle your amygdala sarah. All is, and will be well.
www.americanfreedomradio.com...

Today's your lucky day. I'm going to be 49 tomorrow, the 19th, and from this point of view, you never have to change who you are.
I like all the same things I liked when I was twenty. I don't think core personalities change with a number. Write the number "40" on a piece of paper, and toss it away. No, wait, scratch that- forty is hell of great year. That's when all the stuff you always dreamed about becomes accessible.
I have ALL the candy. I worked hard for it, and I'm going to enjoy it.
You're going to be the same person at forty,fifty, sixty, as you are now, only, you're going to have all the candy.
The Mrs and I hang with my nieces and nephew, they come over to the house and we have a great time, we go to amusement parks, concerts. Life is more so. Think of those old guys on Harley's going down the pike.
Nothing ages a person so much as a closed mind, and it seems to me you don't have one.
Don't squinch your face, though- everyone looks old with a squinchy face.

Edited to add, I'm reading posts where people look at young people and see them as children. Yes, there is an age where people under a certain age look half-baked, underdone, raw. Not enough character showing in their smooth faces, like bread dough.

Well, Sarra, I'll cheer you up with this:

My great-grandparents were married for almost 60 years. They were eleven years apart. She was older.

In the words of the yet to be late, great William Shatner...

reply to post by sarra1833


dude, you can roll with a youth fixation if you want. i just wonder what corporate advertising focus created your sense of worth. perhaps in a tribal culture you would value your elder status and the perceptions that come from post-pubescence.

perhaps if you have your youthful spirit intact, vampirism from the young is not necessary. we all want to blend in with...be a part of, the beauty of our physical culture. but we all are destined to die; most from old age. the years 40 to 50 are rapidly aging years. we cannot be teens again.

perhaps you can find a more meaningful life path for resolution for your midlife crisis?

It's funny how the concept of age tends to corrupt the mind. We tend to place so much importance on age and duration, always looking to the past or future and never enjoying the present. When we are growing up, we wish we were grown up; when we are grown up, we wish we were growing up. Rarely content with the here and now, we seek to fill a space within us that only deepens when we live in the past or obsess about the future.

Age is but a label that confines us to a stereotypical existence that is dull and boring. Sure, your physical and mental health tend to slowly deteriorate as your youth escapes you, but that does not mean you cannot live a happy and fulfilling life.

sirbadazz and DarkGhost...
It's refreshing to see comments from people who are aware.
Half the comments in this thread are the result of a culture that is nothing more than a mass
hallucination.


OP...instead of being depressed, you should be happy that you look half your age.
Also..the fact that you think Skrillex sucks doesn't mean you're old. It just means you have some musical taste.

reply to post by sarra1833


Here is something for you to consider, check out Leviticus 27:1-8 as it pretty much divides a person's life into seperate stages.

Stage 1 one month old to age 5
Stage 2 age 5 until age 20
Stage 3 age 20 until age 60
Stage 4 age 60 and up

I think legal maturity came in at the stage 3 however it is thought that it represented the actual start of maturity until full maturity.

With that said, consider yourself in stage 3, party it up until you hit 60! Don't worry, you won't be alone, I'll be the guy who looks and acts like he is a real fun 28-30 but who is secretly homing in on 40. We can both act more mature when we hit 60 and our bodies starts to fall apart, until then stay young.

As a parting note, I knew this old guy who had a secret to staying young of mind and body. When I asked him what it was he quietly said, "If you want to stay young, all you need is a younger woman in your life." I think he was right, and it obviously applies to men or women.

reply to post by sirbadazz


Boo! Ages 40 to 50 are boss! Plan it right, you have a job that doesn't feel like a job, and you have status in said job. There's so much to do, and things to still learn, and you have the power and money to do it.

Sarra I feel your pain. Being over 40 I feel like a teen trapped in an older person's body.
I used to live like I never aged and just partied on up until we had kids. Friends drift away after you have kids and you slow down a bit. Now a days I coast along not trying to over do things or delude myself into recapturing what has passed. I try to embrace being older and mentor my kids. Sometimes I think we fear adjusting to our age and try so hard to appear youthful that we just waste time and energy fighting it. I hope that makes sense since I tend to write as I think.

Side note: Serra your avatar looks EXACTLY like a girl I used to date twenty years ago. Kristen was a wild spirit who really knew how to live. You're not from Boulder Co. are you? lol