reply to post by sarra1833
I kept that lifestyle up until my 41st birthday. That night, after leaving the club, my actual "party" was attended by about fifteen to twenty
people. One was 28 years old. The rest were between 18 and about 25.
That was the first night I think I really noticed it...
Like you, at that age, I looked much younger. At 41 I was still getting carded for smokes and drinks just about every time I went somewhere
unfamiliar. I didn't feel 41 either. From my POV I was the exact same guy I was when I was 17 or 18. I never felt out of place with younger people.
Well, sometimes I did. One of my ex's mothers was a year older than me. That got awkward in a few ways. But anyway... I identified strongly with my
social circle. I was the alpha of a tribe and it felt right to me.
Until that birthday. The woman I was dating then had two bar girls come to the party ( the two who were 18 ). Their job was, I suppose, to make me
happy. So it was all flirtation, shots, general mindless partying. The kind of thing I loved to do - getting attention - and pretty girls. Only on
this night, I looked at one of those girls, under my arm, and she looked like a kid to me. I didn't see a woman. I saw a kid.
With that, Peter Pan pretty much left the building. My spring was over.
Part of me wants to tell you that I miss it. That I got over it and now I'm back to the fun life, surrounded by the twenty somethings and raising
Hell. Part of me does miss it. The truth is I understand that I rode that wave way longer than I should have been able to. I hit the jackpot,
genetically, and was blessed with longevity of youth - and a soul to match. Most others bail on that wave by the time they're in their mid twenties.
It's magic to ride it past that.
It's magic that you still are you.
From your words, I think I see a bit of my own experience and wonder...
The downfall? It's a hell of a thing to go from 17 to being 40-something in the blink of an eye. It's quite an adjustment. But it's not unbearable.
My world is much quieter now, at 46, than it was five or six years ago. A LOT less drama. A lot less drunk. A lot less attention...
But, now, I feel like I know "me" again. The person beneath the person. I'd lost that.
Meh, just ignore my ramblings, or take them as you please. You're at a turning point and change is always scary. But it often leads us to great new