Y'all heard mah sto'y of Moselle Missouri(BMHWC)

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/files/img/xn507e0c84.GIF[/atsimg]

Sit down thar, fellas an' gals, ah's hankerin' t'tell yo' a sto'y. This hyar sto'y is true, as true as ah's sittin' in this hyar rockin' chair on this hyar right fine autumn night. As true as this hyar po'ch is lit by th' light of th' moon an' thet thar lantern, as enny fool kin plainly see. It is a scary sto'y of whut happened t'me one night menny years ago an' one ah will nevah fo'git.

ah was homeless yo' see. ah was yo'ng then an' travelin' aroun' tryin' t'find wawk when ah foun' mahse'f in a ghost town right about sundown. Now ah knowed this hyar town of Moselle an' I’m reckonin' yo' does too on account o' it’s jest up th' Old Cove road a spell on t'other side of Hwy 44. ah grew up in th' area an' had friends thet lived thar. ah remember th' old Bourbeuse Bridge. As a kid we offen rode our bikes hyar an' fished an' dropped rocks in th' rivah. Th' Bourbeuse dumps into th' Meramec ‘bout 100 yards below th' bridge saht an' th' two rivahs were so diffrunt, th' Meramec swif' an' th' Bourbeuse so slow th' wind offen blew it backwards. Seemed t'me th' flood thet took it out was in 86 but ah might be wrong. A floatin' clubhouse lodged aginst it an' th' pressure took it out. Some of th' bridge is still in th' rivah ah's purdy sho'.

Mah buddy Wayne Dungy, his parents bought thet old sto'e an' gas stashun, ah guess on th' east side of th' Railroad tracks, an' Me'd hoof it to th' Th' Moselle Sto'e an' git some kindy an' hang out. So yo' see, ah knowed this hyar town fine but when ah moved away t'make mah life thin's in thet town changed. Th' railroad moved th' tracks an' th' town died, cuss it all t' tarnation.

Yo' all knows thet fallen tree by th' rivah in thet old co'n field? They say a woomin by th' name of Mildred Schenkel was hanged thar fo' bein' a witch an' they say she walks th' town at night. So ah was sho'nuff t'be off th' streets by then, as enny fool kin plainly see. When th' town died an' folks jest up an' lef' some other varmints started usin' it fo' some nasty deeds. They say varmints wo'shiped th' devil an' sacrificed folks t'satin in thet thar town an' some deals went south an' varmints died by bein' drug behind some cars.

As th' sun was about t'go down ah began t'hear peekoolyar noises an' sar movements fum th' co'ner of mah eye so ah skePawdled t'an old house cuz ah didn’t be hankerin' t'bother th' folk thet live in t'other homes near town but ah will tell yo' whut ah was not a-gonna be outside at naght. ah thunk ah w'd be safer in a buildin' wif four walls.

So ah checked out th' house, startin' wif th' fust flore an' then th' second, cuss it all t' tarnation. ah started t'feel a li'l safer an' decided t'bed down fo' th' night. Them ghosts were not a-gonna git me so ah foun' th' old walk in closet an' closed mahse'f in, as enny fool kin plainly see. ah laid thar fo' quite a spell tryin' t'go t'sleep but thar were soun's, not natural soun's mind yo', thet kepp me on mah guard, then ah heard th' dore downstairs open an' thin's movin' aroun'. ah thunk ah was scared outta mah skull until ah heard voices, whisperin' voices an' footsteps a-comin' up th' stairs. ah was terrified, cuss it all t' tarnation.

ah laid thar as quiet as kin be. ah sar a glow a-comin' fum unner th' dore an' footsteps an' whispers in th' room, dawgone it. ah knowed them ghosts were a-gonna git me. Then th' dore swung open an' ah tried t'be still but mah hide had a mind of its own, as enny fool kin plainly see. ah shif'ed an' then th' ghost slimmed me, slimmed me fine. ah jumped up ready t'attack tryin' t'scare it away. Th' glow was so bright ah jest went crazy on it. took m’ a minute but ah then sar th' ghost. It was a li'l thin', in fack it wasn’t a ghost at all but a group of friends jest out lookin' fo' ghosts and thar was this hyar li'l woomin about ready t'kick mah arse. ah started t'laugh an' remembered ah was slimmed, cuss it all t' tarnation. It turned out thet li'l woomin had blew chunks on me reckonin' ah was a ghost mahse'f o' a daid co'ps an' ah c'dn’t he'p but laugh some mo'e. She was a nice lady an' even took me home t'let me clean up an' git sumpin t'eat. Advantage was her name ah reckon. Of course ah had t'pass on some smarts while ah was thar. ah was lucky thet night ah didn’t hafta see them thar ghosts an' demons but let this hyar be a lesson t'yo' chillun stay outta Moselle at night.



I would like to thank Advantage for giving me the idea for this story which is based on her own personal experience. Thank you kind Lady.

BRRAVO!!
That was pretty funny!! HEHE!!

S&F my friend!

I like the way it was written "in voice". Very "Mark Twain" in many ways!

reply to post by PurpleChiten


Thank you for your reply. With this story I decided to do it a little different. My first story in this competition was written in the style that most stories are told, by a narrator with character quotes. My second story in this competition was written as a series of news articles following the story. I decided for the third I would make it an old man telling a story to his grandkids from a first person point of view. After writing the story I actually found a "Redneck" translator in order to give it a little more depth in the first person. I am glad you enjoyed it.

Loved it! Tell me, what accent were you portraying?

Great storytelling, as always!

I have to add here that Agarta.. he is great. This was quickly told to him and he researched the area..... and that pic is an actual pic from Moselle Mo. The idea of using my "victims" POV was fantastic.. and the redneck-speak.. icing on the cake! To flesh the story out like that with research based in truth... mark of a fantastic writer. I dont think my pathetic quick response earlier was appropriate.... and since I am on hold again.. Im giving his proper props.

Did I ever tell you about the time I went out drinking and came out of the PACKED clubs bathroom with my dress tucked in the top of my panties??? Too bad its not halloween material.. cuz it was horrifyin'~!

reply to post by smyleegrl


Thank you so much, as I stated above I put the whole story through a "redneck" translator in order to give the first person account a little more depth. You can find the translator here... rinkworks.com...

reply to post by Advantage


Thank you so very much for your kind words. I am glad I could make this story, based on your experience, worthy of the original.

Now to address your second paragraph.


I was having so much fun that night, The club was hopping, the music was loud and exhilarating begging to be danced to and dance I did. As per the normal, this amount of dancing helped my drinks to flow through my system and I made my way to the Ladies room. It was packed, which was to be expected, and I had to wait a few minutes for an available stall. I took care of business and upon standing there was a very bright flash like someone had taken a picture. I didn't notice right away but the song that was playing at that very moment instantly changed to another without skipping a beat I thought it was a re-mix or something.

I exited the stall and worked my way over to the mirror to check my hair. The loud conversations of the Ladies room suddenly stopped and I could see in the reflection in the mirror everyone was looking at me with disgust. I thought this was very odd and slowly made my way to the door out of there. Upon leaving and seeing the crowd dancing and the music playing I sloughed it off and began working my way back to the table of my friends. As I walked more and more people began staring at me and I began to worry about my safety and had no idea why.

Then it happened, someone threw a glass at me just missing my head. I screamed and began running toward the exit. Once outside I paused to catch my breath and try to come to some sort of idea as to what was going on when the crowd began filling out of the club behind me. They seemed to have true hatred in their eyes and it was directed at me. I ran and ran but they kept coming determined to get a hold of me. My heart was racing just as fast as my mind. I ducked into a darkened doorway in the attempt to hide from the crowd. I bent over placing my hands on my knees trying to catch my breath once again and realized my dress had been tucked into my panties. I adjusted myself and peeked around the corner to check on the advancement of the crowd, they were almost upon me and I began to run once more.

After a block or so I looked back and noticed the crowed had begun to disperse and was no longer chasing me. I slowed to a stop and saw one of my friends still walking towards me so I turned and approached her. "What the heck just happened" I asked her, to which she replied, "You know as well as anyone that tucking your dress into your panties was a sign of dominance used by the former royalty prior to the revolt. If you meant it as a joke it was really in bad taste. You'll get yourself killed doing that." It was then that I realized that flash was not a camera but reality changing before my eyes.

Originally posted by Agarta
reply to post by PurpleChiten

 

Thank you for your reply. With this story I decided to do it a little different. My first story in this competition was written in the style that most stories are told, by a narrator with character quotes. My second story in this competition was written as a series of news articles following the story. I decided for the third I would make it an old man telling a story to his grandkids from a first person point of view. After writing the story I actually found a "Redneck" translator in order to give it a little more depth in the first person. I am glad you enjoyed it.

Very insightful and purposeful! If you are ever in the need of a "real life" redneck translator, please let me know! I live right here in the Mountains of the Bible Belt
The accent I read into it was very "Missouri" I think

I've had the PurpleChiten on facebook for about 4 years now and he has an extreme accent as well as a lisp (since chickens have no lips). He tells people he uses "Dat dere voicen transmalater thang" and it gets all confused on him and types things out the way he says them

Things like...

Whew, it shore iz hard bein a chiten an havin ta hunt fer dem wermz all day an make shore I gitz plenty ob em ta last me da whole wintamer long so I not go hungwiez an stuffz. I shore iz a hard werkin chiten I tell ya!

...he's also only a "baby chiten" so of course his grammar skills aren't quite what they should be

I think I have more friends as the chiten as I do on my regular facebook and I have NO IDEA who most of those people are! But, they LOVE the chiten!

Another great little story, good job


SS

reply to post by Agarta



BWHAHAHAHA!!!
OMG.. now THAT was great! Where do you pull this stuff from? I only WISH it was that epic! You NEED to write.. big time.. your imagination is twistedly brilliant!

I really appreciate all the kind words and support, Thank you to all.