The "failed" generation...

If were going to talk about a "failed generation" lets talk about the previous generation...

All of this talk about the "lazy generation" the "entitled generation" and nothing being done to understand why they are that way or why we perceive them that way...no self work or personal responsibility by parents and our previous generations to acknowledge the world THEY created...just judgments, dismissals, ridicule, neglect, and rejection...

EDUCATION:

No attempt at taking a look at our age old education methods and scrutinizing THEM as the reason kids seem increasingly disinterested in it all...

The kids are failing and refusing to even show up because the adults are failing to adapt...we have this carbon copied educational lecture model mixed in with an indoctrination and behavior conditioning model that FAILS unless FORCE is applied...and of course that is all part of the conditioning model.

Get them used to being forced to do stuff they don't wan't to do when their younger that way when their older they will do more stuff they don't want to do for 30+ years with the only light at the end of the tunnel being a POSSIBLE retirement...that is if their alive and in good enough health to enjoy it...

I think kids today see the world the way we built it...and disagree with it...and not being in a position to do anything about it for the most part refuse to participate in it and perpetuate it...of course there is entitlement...but that is the nature of the beast when being an adolescent...its the nature of the beast when your parents do their job and take care of you...

PARENTAL HYPOCRISY:

How many here strive to provide for their children...so they don't have it as rough as you did? So they don't have to struggle like you did? How man hours as parents do we sacrifice at jobs we hate to earn extra $$ so our kids can do what we always wish we could when we were young, but couldn't?

I think most parents wish for their children to grow up in a better environment than they themselves did...have more opportunities etc...where the hypocritical part comes in, is when we call them "entitled little brats" for enjoying the benefits of our struggles....

THIS IS WHAT WE WANTED??? ISN'T IT? We wanted our kids to have the world at their fingertips and when they do we for some jealous selfish reason we renege when we see them enjoying that "world" we desired to create for them...we hold it over their heads and guilt trip them to "worship us" and "respect your elders" and "don't back talk" etc....did we really wan't our kids to have better lives? OR did we really just wan't worship for providing them with a "better life"...

Instead of parents and the previous generation we blame the kids...we dismiss our own short-sightedness or our own ignorance of the consequences of our choices that we blame our children for it all...their selfish, their entitled, their lazy, their this, their that...its all THEM its got nothing to do with me...it has nothing to do with the fact I gave them the world without work...

ignorant irresponsibility and excuses.... that's all it is.

Blaming the children for the way they are may make us as parents feel like less of a failure in our own eyes but it does absolutely NOTHING for our children and their future...As parents we need to stop being so lazy...stop expecting our children to be instant-adults... remember what childhood was like and approach things from their angle...that is part of being an ADULT and taking the higher road...as the adult you have the wisdom, self control, responsibility that a child has not yet acquired...so dealing with them from the expectation of having those qualities only sets them up for failure and you for disappointment

I wrote this rant because on ATS as of late and outside of ATS I have noticed a trend to dismiss and negatively label the youth of today...as if we ourselves are perfect masters of the universe....its disgusting in my eyes and does absolutely NOTHING for our children but make them feel rejected...

The next time you call some kids lazy...or disrespectful...or think a kick in the ass will straighten him out...take a little bit more time an energy to think about WHY...that child is that way...and before you say well yea they must have horrible parents...realize that those parents too...had parents...and they were themselves children...

this generations perceived failures is the culmination and SUM of all previous generations failures that went un-addressed...

I work with the most difficult disrespectful people you could ever imagine...I grew tired of judging them from the luxury of my position in life...the one thing all perceived "bad" people have in common is an absolutely horrible childhood and upbringing...I haven't met one yet who grew up in a balanced environment that was open and loving...

I blame the Baby Boomers and their children. They are the generations responsible for where we're at right now.

Well written OP, S&F

A very large part of the problem is the advice being given out to new parents.

Example, Dont comfort your baby when it cries, just leave it to fall asleep.
With advice like that the child feels abandonment and neglected right from day one...and yes that IS the advice that parents in the uk are given.

Well done OP, it needs to be said.

Personally, I think it's because we abandoned old-fashioned methods of discipline. Things started to loosen up in the 60's and with that slackening came the decline of Western society.

Now any and every depraved act is acceptable and encouraged. We have become Rome at its most corrupt and we wallow in our bread and circuses.

Originally posted by VoidHawk

Example, Dont comfort your baby when it cries, just leave it to fall asleep.
With advice like that the child feels abandonment and neglected right from day one...and yes that IS the advice that parents in the uk are given.

Well done OP, it needs to be said.

I agree

Each method has its "consequences" we as parents need to realize our role in the people we create...and we need to take responsibility and stop passing off on our children...

I have a 2 year old that is at the stage that she thinks the world revolves around her and gets very upset at any evidence that says the contrary....typically parents dismiss this as a byproduct of being a toddler and deal with it usually with punishment and behavioral reconditioning...many complain as if they don't understand WHY it is their child would possibly behave that way...

The child behaves that way because up until then the world did revolve around them...at least from their perspective...you fed, them you loved them, you comforted them, you waited on their every need...so when you reneged on this instilled perception and they act out as parents we should understand and take responsibility for our roles in creating that...

A way a child acts is usually a response or in accordance with a perception that we as parents gave them...to punish them for their behavior and their resistance to change in world view is to ignore and deny our own roles in why our children think and act the way they do...

Originally posted by PrplHrt
Personally, I think it's because we abandoned old-fashioned methods of discipline. Things started to loosen up in the 60's and with that slackening came the decline of Western society.

Now any and every depraved act is acceptable and encouraged. We have become Rome at its most corrupt and we wallow in our bread and circuses.

oh how I agree and disagree...discipline usually translates to punishing your child because you fail to take your responsibility as a parent and your own role in inciting or influencing that behavior you are disciplining...

Discipline is healthy and needed but at the right times and at the right understanding...as parents we set ourselves up for hard times and failure when we constantly change the "rules" as our child ages...and when they naturally resist the changing of rules we "beat" and force the new rules into them...then they learning this from us continue that methodology in their lives and on their children...

reply to post by Sly1one

The old methods of raising children produced some astoundingly gifted, intelligent, talented leaders and artists. Pick a famous person from our past, anyone, and consider their probable upbringing versus that of a child today.

This country used to turn out engineers and physicists and doctors. Now it turns out lawyers and massage therapists and rappers.

You pretty much summed up what the majority of my generation has to offer...even their parents do drugs.

I get an eyefull every time I walk into the classroom. I wish they would stop being such idiots.

Lets just say they won't be moving into friendly neighborhoods when they grow up.

I say screw the kids.

They are pampered and overindulged. They are disrespectful, lazy, destructive little trolls. I blame their parents.

Sure I got into tons of trouble when I was a kid, but I was respectful and polite to adults. I didn't destroy or vandalize other people's property.
I didn't expect everything to be handed to me either, and it wasn't. I've had a job every day since I was 14. I helped my parents pay the bills.

I don't have any kids, and I don't have any answers. But from my experience, a larger majority of kids these days are worthless, lazy little turds.

Originally posted by PrplHrt
reply to post by Sly1one

 

The old methods of raising children produced some astoundingly gifted, intelligent, talented leaders and artists. Pick a famous person from our past, anyone, and consider their probable upbringing versus that of a child today.

This country used to turn out engineers and physicists and doctors. Now it turns out lawyers and massage therapists and rappers.

OR the educational model for that time was much more appropriate and effective...and today we are still using that same tried old model...in a completely different environment and generation of children...There are mediums available today that were NEVER available in those days...there are distractions today that weren't there back then...

comparing the old and new is like comparing apples and oranges...two completely different sets of rules and environments...using the "old methods" is quite possibly the issue...the youth of today isn't accepting the lecture model of teaching...and instead of adjusting the model to match the times we try to continue to force feed them old model methods...

reply to post by Sly1one

The child behaves that way because up until then the world did revolve around them...at least from their perspective...you fed, them you loved them, you comforted them, you waited on their every need...so when you reneged on this instilled perception and they act out as parents we should understand and take responsibility for our roles in creating that...

So what is your definition of taking responsibility, and how are you planning to communicate that you are accepting responsibility to your two year old in a manner the child can understand? Once you communicate that you are taking responsibility for your actions as the adult, it doesn't mean the struggles end.

It doesn't stop... Children always push their boundaries, and you will have to continue to gradually transition the responsibility of taking care of the child to said child. Some children do not react in ways you can predict. Your own children may not respond to things the way you do. They may not appreciate that you have taken responsibility for your role in raising (and sometimes spoiling) them. They may not be the slightest bit interested in the nice things/activities/vacations you try to give them. They may, instead, be moody, or hyper, or jocks, or drama queens, or social climbers.

Just be prepared for anything, and don't imagine that you will never feel frustrated or resentful with your child when they do not respond like you would or appreciate how fair and understanding you are compared to the other parents out there who never took responsibility for their role in raising their children like you do...

Tongue in cheek, but believe me, you can try as hard as you can to be the best, fairest and most righteous parent you can, and they will still surprise you with their own perspective on things, no matter how much you feel you have done everything right.

reply to post by watchitburn


I'd agree with you...if I wasn't part of such a disrespectful generation.

Just know that some of us aren't total disappointments

Originally posted by PrplHrt
Personally, I think it's because we abandoned old-fashioned methods of discipline. Things started to loosen up in the 60's and with that slackening came the decline of Western society.

Now any and every depraved act is acceptable and encouraged. We have become Rome at its most corrupt and we wallow in our bread and circuses.

Discipline is introduced to children much too soon. The reason we dont beat dogs is because we know they dont understand what its for, its the same with children.
I have a grandson who is approaching his fourth birthday and just like OP mentioned about his 2 yearold, my grandson thought HE was the whole world.
He's NEVER been beaten and recieved very little discipline, quite simply because his life is a happy one and he does not feel the need to rebel.

I remember during my first year at school the walls outside had been repainted white. My friend and myself spent our lunchbreak drawing faces on them with mud. I'm approaching 60 now and to this day I can remember the shock I felt when I discovered I was in trouble, I was totally confused, I hadnt hurt anyone or stolen anything, I was just enjoying myself. I was beaten with a cane for that crime. It didnt teach me that what I did was bad, it tought me to fear the teahers.

Now any and every depraved act is acceptable and encouraged. We have become Rome at its most corrupt and we wallow in our bread and circuses.

Agreed.

reply to post by Philosorapter


Notice I said a larger majority.

I have encountered a few kids who are good to go. But it seems more and more are just oxygen thieves.

reply to post by Sly1one

The old methods worked. Could it be that the new methods are not?

It is my humble opinion that there are too many distractions and shortcuts in the modern classroom. Kids don't have to work for the knowledge anymore. It's all pictures and flash with the computer and no labor because they get handouts instead of taking notes.

It has been proven that when a person writes out notes at a lecture they remember the material much better than they do when they type it into a word processing program on a laptop.

There's something to be said for a pen, some paper and a simple textbook. No distractions.

We've turned the classroom into an entertainment center.

With all due respect -

Stuff & Nonsense!

Beginning with Adam & Eve (Speaking metaphorically) No Generation has ever created the World they live in.
They simply took what they got and ran with it spending their energy on trying to make their World a better place for the next Generation.

By no means am I saying that no mistakes were made. Unfortunately many errors in judgement have occured and will continue to occur as long as Man-Kind is willing and able to strive for perfection.

This quest is essential to our survival as a Species for as long as we continue to seek perfection We will have a goal.

This goal is of course unreachable insomuch as that Perfection is an idealistic fantasy.


As for the Educational System, 30some years ago a Gentleman then old enough to be my Great-Grand-Daddy said that when He was in school the School System was at best a bad joke.

Add the facts that physical Human interaction is enormously limited and due to high-tech entertainment the use of one's imagination has been rendered all but unnesessary, and all that is left is a Robotic Society void of empathy compassion & love save for that which is directed to one's self.

What I am saying is "Yeah. It is their own fault."

Ya want a better dinner? Quityerbitchin' & get in the kitchen.

Just MO.

Originally posted by PrplHrt
reply to post by Sly1one

 

The old methods worked. Could it be that the new methods are not?

It is my humble opinion that there are too many distractions and shortcuts in the modern classroom. Kids don't have to work for the knowledge anymore. It's all pictures and flash with the computer and no labor because they get handouts instead of taking notes.

It has been proven that when a person writes out notes at a lecture they remember the material much better than they do when they type it into a word processing program on a laptop.

There's something to be said for a pen, some paper and a simple textbook. No distractions.

We've turned the classroom into an entertainment center.

You are looking at it from the "old world" perspective...at some point even pen and paper was even a "new technological development"....there is no progression when you continue to utilize ONLY pen an paper in a digital world...you might as well scrap the digital world all together if that is the case...

I'm not a proponent of all technology and I think it is beneficial for everyone to know the roots of all things...such as reading and writing...its all important but to make it the only method or route throughout education in the world we live in is to A) ignore the entirety of the modern world B) set the stage for stagnation...

reply to post by Sly1one

I'm saying start the kids with the basics in their formative years then move them to tech.

I don't want to derail the thread too much.

Originally posted by PrplHrt
reply to post by Sly1one

 

I'm saying start the kids with the basics in their formative years then move them to tech.

I don't want to derail the thread too much.

I agree with you on this completely and thanks for being thread topic conscious!

Originally posted by watchitburn
I say screw the kids.[/quote[
and then to follow that up shortly with this:

I blame their parents.

so its the parents fault but screw the kids? I'm not following you on this...

Sure I got into tons of trouble when I was a kid, but I was respectful and polite to adults. I didn't destroy or vandalize other people's property.

and this isn't because you are inherently awesome and respectful now is it...its because the life you lead up till that point fostered respect and politeness...a very fortunate circumstance that isn't universal...so to expect all to be as you were is to expect all to have the same upbringing you had...and in the end all we would have is you...which is apparently quite okay with being judgmental and critical of children...whose lives you know nothing about...you are fortunate to of had an upbringing that fostered the traits you seem to value...

I didn't expect everything to be handed to me either, and it wasn't. I've had a job every day since I was 14. I helped my parents pay the bills.

again not because you are inherently awesome but because somehow your path lead you to be that person...and were not all on that same path...you are proud of who you are and there is no shame in that...expecting others to have the same values as you is not only impractical and unrealistic...its conveniently self serving and gratifying to think of yourself as "better" than those who don't possess your same valued traits...

I don't have any kids, and I don't have any answers. But from my experience, a larger majority of kids these days are worthless, lazy little turds.

Wait a sec...I thought you blamed the parents? Judgmental criticism from a perspective that is of absolute ignorance since you aren't a parent yourself...

I had a couple kids walk right out in front of my car the other day and I had to slam on the breaks...I rolled down the window and looked at them like...uhhh look both ways? They gave me a look of "screw you...ill do what I want"...I got pretty upset and judged them pretty hard but then considered that they were first children and probably had parental circumstances that led them to behave the way they do...so then I threw the judgement on the parents...who I then also realize...probably knew no better considering their childhood and how they were raised...