Rico found himself once again out of a job and down to his last few smokes as he walked along the long isolated wooded dirt road from Poncho's happy
bottom riding club bar and grill with his mangy flea bitten half breed mutt named Champ.
When suddenly there was a flash in the sky and an odd buzzing sound. "Buzzzzzz" He and Champ looked up in horror and amazement and saw a large
glowing object fly overhead and slam into the nearby brush covered knoll with a puff of smoke and dirt. "POOF"
They quickly scrambled across the clearing Rico tripping on a log, he picked himself up and staggered a few more steps tripping again this time over a
large rock. "THUD" Champ licked his face. Standing up while dusting himself off he realized the thing was no longer glowing and buzzing but now
appeared metallic and hissing. "HISSS"
They cautiously walked closer and came within only a few feet of the hissing metallic object. Rico couldn't feel any heat from the object but the hair
on his arms and the back of his neck was standing up. Champ scratched himself.
The object cracked open and he saw this green substance oozing out of the crack "OOOZ" and onto the ground "SPLAT" where it sat there
pulsating. Rico thought about running away and getting the Sheriff or the Professor from the local college or even notifying the National Guard but
instead he lit a smoke and grabbed a stick and started poking the ooz. " Poke Poke Poke " Champ watched while wagging his tail.
The Glob grabbed Rico's arm and started to dissolve and consume his flesh. He screamed out in horror and turned to run but tripped over Champ who had
fallen asleep while Rico was poking the object and giggling. The Glob quickly started covering the rest of his body. Champ whimpered then took off to
fetch help and within a few minutes, minus a couple of quick stops to scratch made it to Poncho's happy bottom riding club bar and grill where he saw
an old friend and great source for day old hot dogs. Buck Henderson. [Owner, Proprietor and Bar tender] behind the bar serving jojos.
Buck saw Champ and immediately knew something was wrong. He knew Rico and Champ were like pees and carrots and would never be apart.
"What's the matter Champ" Buck asked.
"Woof Woof Woof" Champ replied.
"Rico's in trouble?" Buck asked.
"Woof Woof Woof" Champ replied.
"Rico fell down a well and broke a leg?" Buck asked wide eyed in amazement.
"Ruff Woof Woof Ruff" Champ replied then farted and scratched.
"Rico is being eaten by an Alien Space Glob two miles from here?" Buck asked wider eyed still in amazement again..
"Woof Woof Woof" Champ replied then wagged his tail.
Buck and a few of the men at Poncho's happy bottom riding club bar and grill quickly armed themselves with RPG's, chainsaws, Rare Italian automatic 10
gauge assault shotguns and medieval oil torches as they ran out and jumped into their pickup trucks and drove about a hundred yards then stopped
jumped out coughing put out the torches which had burned the inside of the cab and smoked them out.
All piled back in hooting and hallowing
Then, without warning!!!
Somebody put in an 8 Track tape...
At the nearby Catholic retired Nunnery retreat of "Our Lady of the Divine Chastity" gore and bloodshed ensued as the retired Nuns attempted to hold
the line and fight off the Glob which had interrupted their normal evening prayer and mud bath Tuesday. The Nuns of "Our Lady of the Divine Chastity"
had created an almost impregnable barrier using nylons, bedpans, walkers and mothballs.
Sister Willamina who was a former Champion female Sumo wrestler jumped buck naked covered only in mud over the barrier with her red hot curling iron
in hand. Stabbing wildly at the glob with all her might and was quickly swatted aside and out the window like a rag doll.
Just then, Sister Mary Noneck was able to call the Sheriff, Her secret lover. She whispered "Oh the passion" as she hit the speed dial for his
cellphone. The Sheriff who just so happened had been at Ponchos eating jojos when Champ had broken the News.
He took her call got the details called her his pookie then redirected the torch carrying mob towards the Nunnery. They quickly surrounded the
building, stopped to relight their torches and immediately opened fire. Launching RPGs though all the windows. One rescuer started cutting down a
birch tree on the other side of the parking lot away from the action with the chainsaw. Champ frustrated ran to him and bit his ankle.
It was a Horrific scene, Nuns were pouring out of windows and doors all shot to hell falling like flies as the mob continued their all out assault on
the building. The chainsaw wielding rescuer after realizing his mistake started cutting through the main door. The other men and Champ stacked up
behind him ready for the final assault. They breached the main door and open fired down the main hallway. Taking out planters, priceless vases and a
few of the Nuns as they shot the Glob at point blank range which had by now tripled in size.
Realizing the situation was hopeless Champ ran back to the trucks and Grabbed the back pack filled with 60 lbs of top of line Military grade C-4. The
Glob was now enraged and devouring the men like buttered pop corn. Champ knew that he was humanities only hope for survival.
He pulled the rip cord and bit the strap and ran as fast as he could towards the Glob. Stopping to scratch only twice. He jumped snout first into the
belly of the beast. Chuck Henderson who had lost an arm and most of his left leg ran from the building waving to the other men to escape.
When with a terrific thump the C-4 detonated blowing the Glob to smithereens. Buck walked back to his truck and opened a pack of Kools and lit a
smoke. Just then he heard a "WooF" He turned around and to his amazement saw Champ.
"Champ you're ok boy, bu but how?" Chuck asked.
"woof snarl woof" Champ replied.
"You dropped the C-4 and made it out the other side and hid behind Sister Willamina's 450lbs corpse? Good thinking boy, Good thinking"
edit on 15-10-2012 by SLAYER69 because: (no reason given)
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