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The Incredible GLOB [BMHWC]

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posted on Oct, 15 2012 @ 08:22 PM
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Rico found himself once again out of a job and down to his last few smokes as he walked along the long isolated wooded dirt road from Poncho's happy bottom riding club bar and grill with his mangy flea bitten half breed mutt named Champ.

When suddenly there was a flash in the sky and an odd buzzing sound. "Buzzzzzz" He and Champ looked up in horror and amazement and saw a large glowing object fly overhead and slam into the nearby brush covered knoll with a puff of smoke and dirt. "POOF"

They quickly scrambled across the clearing Rico tripping on a log, he picked himself up and staggered a few more steps tripping again this time over a large rock. "THUD" Champ licked his face. Standing up while dusting himself off he realized the thing was no longer glowing and buzzing but now appeared metallic and hissing. "HISSS"

They cautiously walked closer and came within only a few feet of the hissing metallic object. Rico couldn't feel any heat from the object but the hair on his arms and the back of his neck was standing up. Champ scratched himself.

Just then...

The object cracked open and he saw this green substance oozing out of the crack "OOOZ" and onto the ground "SPLAT" where it sat there pulsating. Rico thought about running away and getting the Sheriff or the Professor from the local college or even notifying the National Guard but instead he lit a smoke and grabbed a stick and started poking the ooz. " Poke Poke Poke " Champ watched while wagging his tail.

Suddenly...


The Glob grabbed Rico's arm and started to dissolve and consume his flesh. He screamed out in horror and turned to run but tripped over Champ who had fallen asleep while Rico was poking the object and giggling. The Glob quickly started covering the rest of his body. Champ whimpered then took off to fetch help and within a few minutes, minus a couple of quick stops to scratch made it to Poncho's happy bottom riding club bar and grill where he saw an old friend and great source for day old hot dogs. Buck Henderson. {Owner, Proprietor and Bar tender} behind the bar serving jojos.

Buck saw Champ and immediately knew something was wrong. He knew Rico and Champ were like pees and carrots and would never be apart.

"What's the matter Champ" Buck asked.

"Woof Woof Woof" Champ replied.

"Rico's in trouble?" Buck asked.

"Woof Woof Woof" Champ replied.

"Rico fell down a well and broke a leg?" Buck asked wide eyed in amazement.

"Ruff Woof Woof Ruff" Champ replied then farted and scratched.

"Rico is being eaten by an Alien Space Glob two miles from here?" Buck asked wider eyed still in amazement again..

"Woof Woof Woof" Champ replied then wagged his tail.

Buck and a few of the men at Poncho's happy bottom riding club bar and grill quickly armed themselves with RPG's, chainsaws, Rare Italian automatic 10 gauge assault shotguns and medieval oil torches as they ran out and jumped into their pickup trucks and drove about a hundred yards then stopped jumped out coughing put out the torches which had burned the inside of the cab and smoked them out.

All piled back in hooting and hallowing

Then, without warning!!!

Somebody put in an 8 Track tape...



Meanwhile...

At the nearby Catholic retired Nunnery retreat of "Our Lady of the Divine Chastity" gore and bloodshed ensued as the retired Nuns attempted to hold the line and fight off the Glob which had interrupted their normal evening prayer and mud bath Tuesday. The Nuns of "Our Lady of the Divine Chastity" had created an almost impregnable barrier using nylons, bedpans, walkers and mothballs.

Sister Willamina who was a former Champion female Sumo wrestler jumped buck naked covered only in mud over the barrier with her red hot curling iron in hand. Stabbing wildly at the glob with all her might and was quickly swatted aside and out the window like a rag doll.

Just then, Sister Mary Noneck was able to call the Sheriff, Her secret lover. She whispered "Oh the passion" as she hit the speed dial for his cellphone. The Sheriff who just so happened had been at Ponchos eating jojos when Champ had broken the News.

He took her call got the details called her his pookie then redirected the torch carrying mob towards the Nunnery. They quickly surrounded the building, stopped to relight their torches and immediately opened fire. Launching RPGs though all the windows. One rescuer started cutting down a birch tree on the other side of the parking lot away from the action with the chainsaw. Champ frustrated ran to him and bit his ankle.

It was a Horrific scene, Nuns were pouring out of windows and doors all shot to hell falling like flies as the mob continued their all out assault on the building. The chainsaw wielding rescuer after realizing his mistake started cutting through the main door. The other men and Champ stacked up behind him ready for the final assault. They breached the main door and open fired down the main hallway. Taking out planters, priceless vases and a few of the Nuns as they shot the Glob at point blank range which had by now tripled in size.

Realizing the situation was hopeless Champ ran back to the trucks and Grabbed the back pack filled with 60 lbs of top of line Military grade C-4. The Glob was now enraged and devouring the men like buttered pop corn. Champ knew that he was humanities only hope for survival.

He pulled the rip cord and bit the strap and ran as fast as he could towards the Glob. Stopping to scratch only twice. He jumped snout first into the belly of the beast. Chuck Henderson who had lost an arm and most of his left leg ran from the building waving to the other men to escape.

When with a terrific thump the C-4 detonated blowing the Glob to smithereens. Buck walked back to his truck and opened a pack of Kools and lit a smoke. Just then he heard a "WooF" He turned around and to his amazement saw Champ.

"Champ you're ok boy, bu but how?" Chuck asked.

"woof snarl woof" Champ replied.

"You dropped the C-4 and made it out the other side and hid behind Sister Willamina's 450lbs corpse? Good thinking boy, Good thinking"

edit on 15-10-2012 by SLAYER69 because: (no reason given)




posted on Oct, 15 2012 @ 08:35 PM
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Classically cheesy...


I could foresee a series of "Champ saves the World" stories coming soon...

...everyone needs a dog like Champ...

Excellent tale!

S&F



posted on Oct, 15 2012 @ 08:58 PM
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reply to post by isyeye
 


"Classic Cheese"

We aim to please



posted on Oct, 15 2012 @ 09:07 PM
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Woof Ruff Woof Ruff Woof Woof!!!!

Woof=star
Ruff= Flag!



It aint easy bein cheezy



posted on Oct, 15 2012 @ 09:08 PM
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reply to post by SLAYER69
 


If it wasn't so late in the evening,I would like a glass of
white wine to go with this cheese.
Loved it Slayer,star and flag for you and these
edit on 15-10-2012 by mamabeth because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 15 2012 @ 09:33 PM
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reply to post by neo96
 


I was bored so I decided to write a campy version of a classic theme.



posted on Oct, 15 2012 @ 09:37 PM
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reply to post by mamabeth
 


I promise next time to make it even cheesier.



posted on Oct, 15 2012 @ 10:24 PM
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Is there any ham with all that cheese? Great story!



posted on Oct, 15 2012 @ 10:45 PM
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That had "Cheese", or should I say "Glob", written all over it !!



posted on Oct, 15 2012 @ 11:03 PM
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Originally posted by Jakes51
Is there any ham with all that cheese? Great story!


I had ham and cheese on rye for lunch with brown mustered



posted on Oct, 15 2012 @ 11:42 PM
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Scotch, and Cigar on me...............





posted on Oct, 15 2012 @ 11:43 PM
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reply to post by sonnny1
 


NO MORE scotch for you apparently



posted on Oct, 15 2012 @ 11:50 PM
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reply to post by SLAYER69
 


After work, I need it !

Well, before work, apparently.







posted on Oct, 16 2012 @ 12:33 AM
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reply to post by sonnny1
 


I celebrate things like Sunset, sunrise, Noon, Evening etc etc etc



posted on Oct, 16 2012 @ 01:23 AM
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That was brilliant, SLAYER. Absolutely brilliant!

Booze, broads, and bombs.
*sniff*
(I promised myself I wouldn't cry)



posted on Oct, 16 2012 @ 12:24 PM
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reply to post by SLAYER69
 


You're the best Slayer and I know that you can make it the cheesiest



posted on Oct, 16 2012 @ 01:47 PM
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wow wow wow .



posted on Oct, 16 2012 @ 01:48 PM
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reply to post by mamabeth
 


Thank you.

Your Christmas cheese ball with almonds is secured.



posted on Oct, 16 2012 @ 01:52 PM
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Originally posted by pac221211
wow wow wow .


I take it you're not a fan of

"The B-Movie Halloween Writing Contest [BMHWC]"

Or simply not a fan of my submission?

It's ok, if you don't.
Just remember that the B-Movies OWNED the drive-in theaters back in the day



posted on Oct, 16 2012 @ 04:03 PM
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reply to post by SLAYER69
 


Not a fan of my submission...
Please explain this submission thing,I don't submit very well,
just ask my husband.


I am still getting my cheeseball,right?





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