From the Troll Hunter: You’ve been found [BMHWC]

“It’s good to be a troll,” said ATS member Imean2annoyU to himself. It had been another wonderful night of making fun of people on the internet. Just tonight alone, he had brought 2 people to tears, got one person so upset that they got themselves banned from ATS for using excessively foul language repeatedly (even though they were provoked), and made himself at least a half a dozen new foes. Not too bad of a haul considering he had only posted about twenty times tonight.

Sitting in the basement of his Mom’s house, eating Twinkies, and trying to ignore the smell that emanated from his body, Imean2annoyU logged off of his computer and stretched his fat arms, knocking over his Mountain Dew can in the process. Returning his chubby fingers to the keyboard, he went to GLP to start a new Hoax thread about the imaginary alien he encountered last night. Those people were so gullible.

Before he was able to post his thread, his computer monitor went black, and then in a moment returned to life hosting a new thread on ATS…it was titled “From the Troll Hunter: You’ve been found.” Curiosity got the better of him, so he scrolled down the screen, quickly reading the OP’s words as he went. In summary, it stated that a troll hunter had been dispatched to ATS from places beyond a troll’s comprehension, and soon the effects would take place.

“Now THAT is a troll thread if I’ve ever seen one,” he laughed out loud as he began to type his reply. Word after word his little chubby fingers pressed the keys, filling the screen with insults and remarks written only to annoy anyone that read them. It was only when he began noticing how many typos he was making that he looked down at his fingers, only to realize that his hands were now covered in hair and his fingernails had grown so long that he could no longer type correctly.

Raising from his chair so fast that it rolled across the room, crashing into the bunk beds he had since he was a little boy, Imean2annoyU ran toward the bathroom, tripping over the hair that was beginning to emerge from beneath his sweatpants. Reaching the bathroom, he looked into the mirror that hung over the sink, and screamed as his true form became realized in his eyes for the first time.

“Who’s that girl that’s screaming? You're not suppose to have girls in your room!” his Mom yelled as she started down the steps into the lair of the internet troll, Imean2annoyU.




*Writer's note* There is no ATS member Imean2annoyU...although there are plenty of trolls on ATS...

reply to post by isyeye


BRILLIANT! *applesauce*

A fun read. Well done.

reply to post by isyeye


Aplause from me too, however!!!
The ending was lacking, for a troll it wasn't nasty enough. I want blood and guts splattered all over the thread please.

reply to post by beezzer


My collection of "applesauce" sits upon my mantle as my most prestigious awards.

*bows to His Fluffiness*

Good one OP!



As said in Monty Python the Holy Grail....to the troll...I Fart in your Genaral Direction!

reply to post by VoidHawk


Request for more Troll blood and guts splattered around the thread accepted...

...perhaps a part II is in order to satisfy the need for gore.