posted on Oct, 16 2012 @ 11:36 AM
I am very sorry to hear that this has happened. I may be wrong, but I imagine that you are a very dependable and responsible man. You probably like
to help others and are a leader. You probably also expect a lot from yourself and thus are comfortable with order and controlling things in your
life, and this event has brought you face to face in a very real and deep manner that no matter what you do, there are times you can't help, you
can't fix it, and yes, you are not ultimately in control of your life.
It might not be a bad thing to get some help from a trained crisis counselor. When I worked with the police we had several on call for emergencies.
Often times, communications officers would need to talk with one of them after a particularly awful call which they were basically there to help, but
in fact they were helpless in many respects.
If you are spiritual, I would suggest that you ground and center yourself, appreciate all thing things you have that are tangible and intangible in
your life. I personally trust God with everything, and while I may get stressed, I ultimately hand it off because I can't force my will or make
everything right. I can only do my best, and it sounds like you do your best. You may be dealing with a trust crisis in a deep level. I really am
sorry you experienced this. You were not expecting it as one might in combat. This was out of the blue, and if it were me, I would be thankful
nothing worse did happen, and pray for that man and his family.
I wish you well.