Captain Hero versus The Space Zombies
Mild mannered Nick Steeljaw, blogger for the online paper Always Taking (it) Seriously, was hard at work on another Pulitzer Prize winning essay
when his perky assistant Brenda Dover (Bren, to her friends) came running into his office.
“Nick!” She panted, stretching her blouse out to pinup proportions, “The planet is under attack!”
Nick paused in his writing. Lifting a single eyebrow and pouring himself another three fingers of scotch, Nick said, “You dames are all alike! A
run in your stockings, a burnt pot roast, a broken fingernail, and you think it’s the end of the world.” He knocked back the booze and lit a
Lucky Strike, staring at Bren’s shapely gams.
“Nick, you big lug, this is for honest to joe, real! Space zombies have invaded the planet. The world needs Captain Hero!”
“Alright, toots, time to save the world! “ Nick walked quickly to a bookshelf and pulled out the book Broads, Booze and Bombs
bookshelf shifted, exposing a hidden room filled with weapons and gear Nick always needed to save the world under the guise of Captain Hero! Not to
be outdone, while Nick was changing into his crime fighting costume, plucky Bren Dover changed as well. She took off her four inch heels and replaced
them with shoes with three and a half inch heels, figuring she’d be doing some running today.
Nick stepped out as Captain Hero! A mask covered the top part of his face (leaving two holes for his eyes, you don’t make that same mistake twice!)
a blue tunic, blue pants and a trench coat covered Nick’s chiseled body. Topping it off was Captain Hero’s (!) signature garb, a grey felt
fedora. Checking to see if all his weapons were loaded, he turned to Bren and said, “Let’s save the day!”
A band of space zombies was indeed marching down 5th Avenue, walking slowly away from their space ship parked right in front of Tiffany’s. Some
shambled and tried to chase the running humans, others took to throwing things through windows. One had even dropped his space trousers and attempted
to go to the bathroom on a nearby police car! Fortunately, the tailfin from the ’56 Buick caught it right in the bull’s-eye and it shambled away
before it could do anything.
Captain Hero (!) arrived on the scene with Bren on his arm as he blasted the evil space zombies back to the dark corners of the universe from which
they came. In short order he rounded up the remaining space zombies and herded them to a special paddy wagon courtesy of Uncle Sam. “Don’t spare
the dissection knives, General!” The military saluted Captain Hero (!) and one soldier gave a shy wink at Bren (who blushed) before they drove
Police Chief O’Malley then came up to Captain Hero (!) and Bren and asked, “Golly Cap, how do you do it?”
Captain Hero (!) pulled out a hip flask and tossed back a couple fingers of scotch, lit another Lucky Strike and said, “Clean living.”
Or is it?
edit on 12-10-2012 by beezzer because: (no reason given)