Father pickets school after son disciplined for standing up to bully

page: 4
20
<< 1  2  3    5 >>

log in

join

posted on Oct, 11 2012 @ 01:46 PM
link   
This article, this story, breaks my heart. I know what it is like to be ignored by school officials, since I had some pretty serious incidents with bullies and thugs when I was a teenager. Like this kid, I was under constant threat of harrasment, and on a regular basis, extreme physical injury. Our school had an awful lot of knife incidents also. At no point could I get a teacher, or a head of year, or any other damned official to actually act against the agressors, and every time I reacted, I got sent to the head teachers office. However, because our school liked to keep things under wraps, no one ever got expelled or suspended, unless they had actually caused grevious bodily harm to another student.

My father was useless. Like other adults, he would just tell me to ignore them, as if you can ignore a six inch combat style knife being waved around by a psychotic, dull eyed, cracked up teenager! It was my mother who would come down and support me, my mother who always told me to strike back and take a stand, and thank God she did. She was the only one rooting for me at the time.

It took me three years to begin to realise why I ought to fight back when I was at High School. When I finally did, I nearly killed a kid by choking him half to death with his own tie. Funnily enough, after that folks left me well enough alone for a while, but the school never did anything more than send me for a stern word with the head master.

This child has been supported by his father, and that is the only positive to draw from this story. He is so lucky that ONE of his parents understood the situation enough to insist on making a big deal of things. However, I think he should go round to some other parents houses, and get them involved. Perhaps they should organise a boycott of the school until the school explains itself, and or fixes its clearly broken attitude to justice, and student safety. I think it is important to remember that the right to defend ones self is not limited to adults, nor is it removed by the simple act of crossing a school property boundary. These are rights that human beings take with them, where ever they go, and no matter who is running the roost where they happen to be.

I think it is also worth remembering, that if a person is under threat for three years, and no one does anything about it, no one helps them, or prevents that bullying by either expelling the problem student, or physically preventing that student from coming into contact with his vitcims, then a school board, and its representatives, MUST accept the consequence of thier failiure. To be honest, if this little kid had upped and killed the jerk bully, I would have cheered for him, because he still would have done the right thing. These little Hitler types need thier kneecaps blowing inside out if you ask me, and anything they get that is less extreme than that, they should count themselves lucky for.




posted on Oct, 11 2012 @ 01:49 PM
link   

Originally posted by inverslyproportional

the bus driver that threatenned to kick my kids off the bus for not waiting outside in the 7 dgree winter for the bus

I can't speak definitively for your school district, of course, but I handle bussing for ours -- we too tell our students to be waiting outside for the bus, regardless of weather. The reason for this is that while each parent thinks it will take "just a minute" for their child to see the bus and run outside, the fact is, those "minutes" add up. The average bus route has 10 stops -- if each child takes even two minutes to get outside, shut the door, gather together their books, kiss Mom goodbye, etc., it means the bus is 20 minutes late to school. Then, these same parents who are complaining about Junior having to stand around waiting outside tend to be the same exact ones who call to complain that bus is running late.

Anyways, regarding the story at hand -- I'm really glad to have a parent standing up for their child in this way! It seems to me like overall in today's world, we end up punishing the victims and letting the people in the wrong get away with things, which of course just perpetuates the whole cycle.



posted on Oct, 11 2012 @ 01:57 PM
link   

Originally posted by sweetooth

Originally posted by nixie_nox
reply to post by sweetooth
 


But if a kid is being beat up by an older brother, or who deals with a drunk father coming home, emotionally and physically abusing them, and they don't know how to react or even socialize, they are indeed, a victim.


stop being a sad hippie nixie-nox. if indeed he is being treated badly at home then he still has no right to take it out on someone else. it is people like you who try to make people powerless against their attackers and make their lives worse. i really hope your kids get bullied one day.
edit on 11-10-2012 by sweetooth because: i think i am dyselxic


*laughs* So your answer is to not understand why bullying occurs to stop it, then you call me a name, then you advocate that someone bully my son.

Your only knee jerk reaction is to perpetuate bullying, with more bullying.
Your answer to ignorance is more ignorance.

It is not making people helpless. You address the problem at the source. And hold the parents liable for their child's behavior.
Not only that, you further perpetuate the problem by assuming a child, who has had no guidance, no education on emotional intelligence, no parenting, to suddenly have adult logic and should just "know better".
It doesn't work that way.

Children reflect the upbringing they receive.

I witnessed my child being bullied, an innocent and sweet 5 yo, by a 9 year old. How? His mother was a friend who got mad at me, brought her 9yo into the situation, and encouraged him to say nasty things to my son. So the 9yo was not only encouraged, but coached to attack a 5yo. By your standards, the mother wasn't responsible.

As a result of his alcoholic, crazy, promiscuous, and aggressive single mother, an otherwise normal kid will end up in jeuvy by the time he is 16.

But instead we will just play your way, just hit the kid, hope mine gets bullied, and this will magically solve everything, as opposed to addressing the root of the issue: completely dysfunctional parents and homelife.



posted on Oct, 11 2012 @ 02:12 PM
link   
reply to post by nixie_nox
 


Nixie-Nox, I appreciate that you believe that people should understand the position a bully may be in, and I understand where you are coming from. However, in these sick times we are living in, it just so happens that all that popular psychology guff means nothing. It is by NO means true that people who see the need to bully have difficult or unusual home lives, any more than anyone else does. And at the age ranges we are talking about, if the little punk hasnt learned to respect his fellow human being yet, then he damned well should have, and should suffer the consequences of his willful ignorance.

The idea that the lifestyle issues suffered by a bully are in any way relavent, is precisely as flawed as the idea that a person can get away with murder because they are suffering from a psychological complaint. There is a new psychological mysfunction for every day of the bloody week these days, but no amount of concern is going to prevent these proto Bundies, these miniature Geins from wreaking havoc on the innocent. The only way to prevent them from being a danger to other students, is to manage them properly, and by that I mean by kicking thier sorry, maladjusted butts until either they die of it, or they learn some god damned respect for other people. I confess, after the amount of crap I went through at the hands of fatherless jerks like the one who got slapped by this innocent student, I can confirm, that the pain of the bully, is meaningless, of no consequence, if paying attention to it means a single innocent is harmed, emotionally or physically.

Remember also, if it is true what you say, and a kids home life and upbringing are really what drives thier behavior, then maybe its too late for them once the reach school. All the more reason to terminate the vicious, toxic little vermin before they reach adult hood and do even bigger damage, to even more people.



posted on Oct, 11 2012 @ 02:53 PM
link   
reply to post by milkyway12
 


I couldent agree with you more if someone has started something do not hold back i have thought many times of doing what you described, and when ive told this to my friends they tell me im sick or evil for wanting to hurt someone that badly but these people would have it coming, some people still bully me in school and im in grade 12 but my nature is to be a pacifist. But if someone does hurt me bad enough i will snap and someone else will have to stop me or i will kill them and happily serve my jail time, the only fight i was ever in though was in grade 7 this guy was bulling me for talking to a girl he liked so one day he pushed me and i punched him in the face and since there was a hill at the school i kicked him in the side and sent him rolling down the hill i luckily dident get in trouble and once he had healed up he never messed with me again and since than we have became good friends. That ends in high school it is a lot worse and the reason i dont fight back is cause deep inside as ive mentioned i wouldent stop until one of us were dead and that is not what i would want



posted on Oct, 11 2012 @ 03:12 PM
link   

Originally posted by TrueBrit

reply to post by nixie_nox
 


Nixie-Nox, I appreciate that you believe that people should understand the position a bully may be in, and I understand where you are coming from. However, in these sick times we are living in, it just so happens that all that popular psychology guff means nothing.

Actually, yes it does. I find it ironic that people who want to pin weakness on namby pamby parents, want to blame the child when it is on the other side of the coin, instead of blaming the parents.
We are not living in a sick world these days, that is what the media is telling you. By bringing attention to society's problems, and the understanding of it, is what solves problems. Crime is at a 60 year low. Teen pregnancy is at the lowest since 1946.
By eliminating advertising (think Joe the Camel) of cigarettes to minors, smoking is at an all time low. And is now dropping for adults.

It is by NO means true that people who see the need to bully have difficult or unusual home lives, any more than anyone else does.


"When you really take a close look at bullying, it's happening with kids who feel the need to be aggressive after being treated in an aggressive manner themselves," says Paul Quinlan, D.O., director of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry Inpatient Services at the U-M Health System. "They're the kids who may be suffering from abuse or from just not having their needs met at school or at home

U of Michigan

•Bully-victims reported the most child maltreatment (44%), which included experiences with physical and psychological abuse and neglect.
•Bully-victims also reported the highest rates of sexual victimization (32%), which included experiences with sexual harassment as well as sexual abuse, and included familial and non-familial perpetrators.
•Bully-victims and bullies witnessed higher levels of victimization within their homes (e.g., domestic violence) and communities (e.g., witnessing attacks) than other youth (59% for bully-victims, 61% for bullies).
.

education.com

And at the age ranges we are talking about, if the little punk hasnt learned to respect his fellow human being yet, then he damned well should have, and should suffer the consequences of his willful ignorance.

Darn those kids for not being born knowing everything you think they should know. Because I am sure that when they come home to an empty house, then have a father come home to scream at them and ignore them, they psychically should pick up any information that their parents failed to tell them. How dare they not know better. People cannot make decisions on what they do not know.

The idea that the lifestyle issues suffered by a bully are in any way relavent, is precisely as flawed as the idea that a person can get away with murder because they are suffering from a psychological complain

Do you know that they have found the genetic markers for psychopaths? So why does one person become a murderer and the same person with teh same genetic markers doesn't? Because of homelife. Which is why all psychopaths have troubled childhoods. Borderline personality disorder is caused by childhood trauma mixed with genetics.
That is like saying someone with autism should be able to socialize because they know the "difference" between being social or anti-social. Or that people with turrets should know how to control themselves.


There is a new psychological mysfunction for every day of the bloody week these days, The only way to prevent them from being a danger to other students, is to manage them properly, and by that I mean by kicking thier sorry, maladjusted butts until either they die of it, or they learn some god damned respect for other people. I confess, after the amount of crap I went through at the hands of fatherless jerks like the one who got slapped by this innocent student, I can confirm, that the pain of the bully, is meaningless, of no consequence, if paying attention to it means a single innocent is harmed, emotionally or physically.

Right, because kids who have been shown violence, and only know violence, will just learn from more violence.


Remember also, if it is true what you say, and a kids home life and upbringing are really what drives thier behavior, then maybe its too late for them once the reach school. All the more reason to terminate the vicious, toxic little vermin before they reach adult hood and do even bigger damage, to even more people.

Your answer to bullies, is to kill them. You are worse then they are.
It has been shown that you stabilzie the home life, you stabilize the kid.



posted on Oct, 11 2012 @ 03:23 PM
link   

Originally posted by Xterrain
Kids who pick fights should be taken out of schools indefinitely and schooled elsewhere. They're parents should be investigated and our standards for parenthood should be MUCH higher. If you're unfit and don't fit those standards, you should have your children removed, yours sex organs 'fixed', and restraining order placed.


That's worked so well for the prison system. Put all the "bad" ones together.

That's a sure fire way to mess the "bullies" up.



posted on Oct, 11 2012 @ 03:26 PM
link   
reply to post by joyride0187
 



What they need to do is get them on this show....Bully Beat Down!




posted on Oct, 11 2012 @ 03:39 PM
link   
It's good that he stood up to the bully. At the same time, he did know the rules, if you fight, regardless of the reasons, there are consequences. I don't agree with the alternative school if it was his first fight. The suspension, yes, but not alternative school.

For a kid who has never been in a fight at school before and they stand up to a bully, then the suspension is basically a "vacation". They knew the rules, they fought, they get suspended for a day or two. The alternative school thing is just ridiculous.

I can't really support the father picketing the school because it's not really the school's fault. The discipline code is written out and approved by the district office, he should be picketing the district office if he's going to picket somewhere. The school (principal) is following the code, which he's supposed to do. He may not agree with the rule either, but when it gets to the point of physical contact, he's got no choice but follow the rules that are written. If he hadn't followed the discipline code, a different parent would be picketing and the story would be plastered everywhere that there was favortism or that the rules only applied to "some people". The school can't win either way and somebody is going to be mad regardless of the outcome. The only defense the school has is to follow whatever proceedure is lined out for them. The rule book said to suspend the students and refer them to alternative school so that's what they did. This doesn't mean the rule book makes sense to us or that it's right, but those are the rules. If the father wants to address it with the district and get the rule reveresed, great, but he can't expect the school to do that for him and picketing outside the school isn't going to solve anything or make a difference at all. If he wants the rule changed, he needs to go to the people in charge of making the rules, the superintendent and school board, and have them change it. If that's done, the school will most likely be more than happy to abide by whatever decision is made.

So, yes, I think the kid should have been suspended even though he stood up to a bully and I support him in that completely. If they don't suspend him, then every kid that gets in a fight is going to say "well I was just defending myself from a bully". Take the suspension, enjoy the mini-vacation and be proud that you stood up. ... now, the alternative school thing... Instead of picketing, the father needs to get a lawyer and go after the district office. That's extreme and uncalled for and if this was his son's first fight at school, it's all out ridiculous. Of course we don't really know if it was his first fight or not and if not, then alternative school may have been warranted. Remember, we're only hearing one side of the story here and they only share the parts they want us to know.



posted on Oct, 11 2012 @ 03:50 PM
link   

Originally posted by JiggyPotamus
More evidence of our "nanny state." Too many crybaby parents complaining is what got us here. Kids are going to be kids, and there are certain things kids should be left to learn on their own. In this case, obviously the school did not do anything to remedy the situation, and the kid did what he was pushed into doing. Sometimes there are no other options, and people may say that the kid should have just kept taking the abuse, which is just plain wrong.

Schools have a tendency of punishing anyone who was in a fight, no matter if they were just defending themselves or not. It is human instinct to defend oneself if one does not immediately calculate that they can run, which usually is not a conscious decision, but a split second reaction. They should not be punished for this either.


They pretty much have to these days, unfortunately

Otherwise, the parents of the bully, who are most likely bullies themselves, hire a lawyer and end up spending a lot of time and resources in court and it reinforces the bully child's idea that it's ok to be a bully, mom and dad will just get a lawyer and you not only get to be a bully, but you get paid for doing it.

That said, I have been in schools that handle it differently and I really liked those. They took the description of everyone who witnessed the altercation and did a LOT of discussing until they came to the root cause. If the student who did the swinging had no record of fighting and the other student did, they got to the bottom of it pretty quickly and punished the appropriate parties. It takes a lot of time and a lot of effort, but it can be done.... IF that's what's in the discipline policy. If not, then the administrators have to follow what IS in the policy. They don't like doing it either. No principal likes suspending a "good kid" for standing up to a bully, but their hands are pretty much tied



posted on Oct, 11 2012 @ 08:53 PM
link   
reply to post by 03Smoker
 

In the end it will be the think tank psycology that rules. The reason there is no aggressive crackdown on bullies and why the ones who stand up to them are punished is simple.
If the system started pointing out bullies and cracking down on them then it would not be long until the populous started gaining the gonads to stand up against the TSA or Cops in New York and elsewhere who abuse their power. The system does not want to create an atmosphere where strength and courage is encouraged.standup .



posted on Oct, 12 2012 @ 07:10 AM
link   

Originally posted by nixie_nox

Originally posted by sweetooth

Originally posted by nixie_nox
reply to post by sweetooth
 


But if a kid is being beat up by an older brother, or who deals with a drunk father coming home, emotionally and physically abusing them, and they don't know how to react or even socialize, they are indeed, a victim.


stop being a sad hippie nixie-nox. if indeed he is being treated badly at home then he still has no right to take it out on someone else. it is people like you who try to make people powerless against their attackers and make their lives worse. i really hope your kids get bullied one day.
edit on 11-10-2012 by sweetooth because: i think i am dyselxic


*laughs* So your answer is to not understand why bullying occurs to stop it, then you call me a name, then you advocate that someone bully my son.

Your only knee jerk reaction is to perpetuate bullying, with more bullying.
Your answer to ignorance is more ignorance.

It is not making people helpless. You address the problem at the source. And hold the parents liable for their child's behavior.
Not only that, you further perpetuate the problem by assuming a child, who has had no guidance, no education on emotional intelligence, no parenting, to suddenly have adult logic and should just "know better".
It doesn't work that way.

Children reflect the upbringing they receive.

I witnessed my child being bullied, an innocent and sweet 5 yo, by a 9 year old. How? His mother was a friend who got mad at me, brought her 9yo into the situation, and encouraged him to say nasty things to my son. So the 9yo was not only encouraged, but coached to attack a 5yo. By your standards, the mother wasn't responsible.

As a result of his alcoholic, crazy, promiscuous, and aggressive single mother, an otherwise normal kid will end up in jeuvy by the time he is 16.

But instead we will just play your way, just hit the kid, hope mine gets bullied, and this will magically solve everything, as opposed to addressing the root of the issue: completely dysfunctional parents and homelife.




hi nixie-nox. you say you were once friends with his 'alcoholic, crazy, promiscuous, and aggressive single mother'. wise choice of friend. trying to 'help' her were you?! lmao. why am i never suprised by the reasoning of hippies..?
edit on 12-10-2012 by sweetooth because: i think i am dyselxic



posted on Oct, 12 2012 @ 07:26 AM
link   

Originally posted by sweetooth


hi nixie-nox. you say you were once friends with his 'alcoholic, crazy, promiscuous, and aggressive single mother'. wise choice of friend. trying to 'help' her were you?! lmao. why am i never suprised by the reasoning of hippies..?
edit on 12-10-2012 by sweetooth because: i think i am dyselxic


Whatever you do to the least of these, you do to me....

Great "Christian attitude" ya have there....



posted on Oct, 12 2012 @ 07:29 AM
link   

Originally posted by PurpleChiten

Originally posted by sweetooth


hi nixie-nox. you say you were once friends with his 'alcoholic, crazy, promiscuous, and aggressive single mother'. wise choice of friend. trying to 'help' her were you?! lmao. why am i never suprised by the reasoning of hippies..?
edit on 12-10-2012 by sweetooth because: i think i am dyselxic


Whatever you do to the least of these, you do to me....

Great "Christian attitude" ya have there....


i'm not christian so why would i have a christian attitude? i just fail to understand the rationale of hippies. besides im not the one calling someone an 'alcoholic crazy promiscuous and aggressive single mother' am i? that just about sums up the ideology of hippies. everything is ok and permitted unless it happens to them.
edit on 12-10-2012 by sweetooth because: i think i am dyselxic



posted on Oct, 12 2012 @ 07:49 AM
link   

Originally posted by sweetooth

Originally posted by PurpleChiten

Originally posted by sweetooth


hi nixie-nox. you say you were once friends with his 'alcoholic, crazy, promiscuous, and aggressive single mother'. wise choice of friend. trying to 'help' her were you?! lmao. why am i never suprised by the reasoning of hippies..?
edit on 12-10-2012 by sweetooth because: i think i am dyselxic


Whatever you do to the least of these, you do to me....

Great "Christian attitude" ya have there....


i'm not christian so why would i have a christian attitude? i just fail to understand the rationale of hippies. besides im not the one calling someone an 'alcoholic crazy promiscuous and aggressive single mother' am i? that just about sums up the ideology of hippies. everything is ok and permitted unless it happens to them.
edit on 12-10-2012 by sweetooth because: i think i am dyselxic


Sounds more like the "human condition" than a "hippie condition".

BTW, "hippie" is out. Most of the "hippies" from the 60's are now members of the teaparty and they take great offense to that. Funny they didn't fill you in on that at the last meeting you attended



posted on Oct, 12 2012 @ 08:00 AM
link   

Originally posted by PurpleChiten

Originally posted by sweetooth

Originally posted by PurpleChiten

Originally posted by sweetooth


hi nixie-nox. you say you were once friends with his 'alcoholic, crazy, promiscuous, and aggressive single mother'. wise choice of friend. trying to 'help' her were you?! lmao. why am i never suprised by the reasoning of hippies..?
edit on 12-10-2012 by sweetooth because: i think i am dyselxic


Whatever you do to the least of these, you do to me....

Great "Christian attitude" ya have there....


i'm not christian so why would i have a christian attitude? i just fail to understand the rationale of hippies. besides im not the one calling someone an 'alcoholic crazy promiscuous and aggressive single mother' am i? that just about sums up the ideology of hippies. everything is ok and permitted unless it happens to them.
edit on 12-10-2012 by sweetooth because: i think i am dyselxic


Sounds more like the "human condition" than a "hippie condition".

BTW, "hippie" is out. Most of the "hippies" from the 60's are now members of the teaparty and they take great offense to that. Funny they didn't fill you in on that at the last meeting you attended


what on earth does that even mean purplechiten?
this is exactly the reason why we are ruled over by a nanny state. i'm suprised you lot aren't stuffing yourselves full of lentils and growing your pubes for the age of aquarius. here's a petition. go fill it in.



posted on Oct, 13 2012 @ 02:22 PM
link   
reply to post by TwiztidRoman
 


Both of my sons were bullied, in spite of them both getting or almost getting black belts in karate. The older one somehow stood up to them and learned to get them off his back without being violent. I have seen him shock skeptical kids who dared him by putting them quickly in a compromising position without blows. The younger kid, however, is more shy and afraid to fight back because the school warned everyone that violence was unacceptable. So, eventually, we got the principal involved, and, with my permission, they interviewed both my son and the bully and determined that my son was telling the truth. I also told the principal that I told my son to fight back, if need be, and the bullying would stop, and that I would support him in that case, even if he got in trouble with the school. After the interviews, all teachers were alerted to look out for my son and the bully and intervene or report it. While my son and I were concerned that the bully would only get worse in retribution after the interviews, it seems to have caused the bullying to stop for the time being.

But what I was mainly going to say in response to your statement is: Let the bully follow, then fight back when the authorities aren't looking. I eventually fought back myself in school, and, even though I lost the actual fight because I was relatively small and weak, the bullying stopped, and the worst bully eventually even asked to be my friend.



posted on Oct, 13 2012 @ 05:27 PM
link   

Originally posted by sweetooth


what on earth does that even mean purplechiten?
this is exactly the reason why we are ruled over by a nanny state. i'm suprised you lot aren't stuffing yourselves full of lentils and growing your pubes for the age of aquarius. here's a petition. go fill it in.


that make absolutely no sense at all...

Oh well, consider the source...



posted on Oct, 13 2012 @ 11:57 PM
link   
Wow, he was folding a paper airplane for a special needs student..and the bully steps on it?

Did the bully not get any reprimand for this stuff!?



posted on Oct, 14 2012 @ 12:08 AM
link   
reply to post by joyride0187
 


I agree, the only way to to deal with a bully is to stand up to them. Bullies will always go for the weakest person they can bully. Once you stand up to a bully, they will move on to the next weak link in the chain.

Sadly, when you do stand up to these bullies, you are then punished. Its part of this system that allows bullies so much power. Fear based.. Not only fear of the bully, but fear of the punishment for standing up.

I came from a family who invested more fear into me than the ladder. I could either get picked on and beat up and not fight back. Or come home, and get bullied some more by my family. I was told I would either stick up for myself and learn this life lesson, or pay for it at home.

Guess we all have to take our knocks and beatings, and then punishments. But I will bet that bully won't pick on that kid anymore. That is a win in my book, and grants that kid strength in life. They made it and passed that test.

And a side note. After the bully who picked on me, was beaten up by me. That bully was then the kid who got a taste of his own medication. And the same kids who teamed up with him, now teased him and picked on him. His own pack turned on him, and that same pack never once bothered me the rest of my days in school.
I ended up becoming friends with a few of those pack members, and told I earned their respect.

I don't fully understand it all.. I just know the system who claims they want to protect kids from bullies, is the very system who protects the bullies. You have to defy the system, and stand up. Even in the face of getting in trouble with that system. That system will not protect you. Its up to you, and makes you a stronger person, and brings you to a place in life, that you move onto the next step.





top topics
 
20
<< 1  2  3    5 >>

log in

join