Father pickets school after son disciplined for standing up to bully

Originally posted by BIHOTZ

I used violence to end violence. All the other crap only made my blood and tears flow.

STAND UP FOR YOUR SELVES AND DEFEND ALL THAT YOU ARE! You are worth it.

HOLD IT DOWN!

Not all situations have the Hollywood ending yours did.

I do think kids - - especially those small in stature and a bit timid should be in self defense classes.

As I told my grandson. Try to avoid fighting - - but if you have to - - you don't hold anything back - - and you better win.

reply to post by Annee


true, but like the last guy said, don't make it easy. Don't make it free.

I didn't win all or even most of my fights after, but they knew that they would have to pay a price with me. That is the deterrent. When the easy target becomes the target you have to calculate your chances on.

Even when I lost, I felt great. I fought until I couldn't and they never chose me out of the bunch twice.

Even in HS, I got hazed the first day, and they never touched me again. I went ape isht, and made it clear it was not going to be fun. I would try and hurt you if you came to hurt me.

It is not so great when the nerdy smaller kid makes you bleed. Your bully friends tend to pick on you then.

EDIT:
Yeah, avoid it if you can. Thing is those of us that were bullied can tell when someone is the forgetting type, or a sadistic A hole that will return more motivated and maniacal the next time. They take a certain degree of pleasure you tend to have a heightened sense for. Those guys need a lasting first impression or its trouble later on down the road.

But you are right, a balanced form of dealing with things is good, just don't dismiss the only thing people tend to understand when it's what that type of person chooses to dish out.

you will lose sometimes, but live with dignity always. Good lesson either way.

This is nothing new. I was bullied at primary school when I was 10, for months by 2 brothers (they later ended up as complete losers, heroin addicts and in and out of prison). Everyone knew about it, and nobody did anything about it. One day, I had enough and fought back. I was permanently excluded. That was pretty much the start of my realisation of what a horrible, unfair world we live in.

reply to post by joyride0187


Bravo!

We moved a lot so, every new school my sons would get tested. The first time, he was suspended for defending himself and threatened with some 3 strike thing. It happened again so he got two strikes. I argued with the school and the school was parroting this zero-tolerance crap ...so I told my son, if this kid hits him, beat him to a pulp (my kid wasn't a baby, he just didn't want to cause us grief). So, the kid did, and my kid beat him to a pulp. I suspected legal action and was ready for it, guess what....the school didn't do anything with the 3 strike threat AND the bully stayed away from my kid. Oh and...we the parents are now listed as promoting/encouraging violence in the government e-data profile thing they have at schools. They do have a nazi-type profile on all families AND no, you can't access it all not even with a lawyer.

And what's real great is when the teachers are young and and tend to side with the bullies because they are the "cool kids". I've had that happen with a couple of teachers, and actually had a teacher who bullied me as well (fortunately he got fired that year).

I think the publicity is misplaced. A child being bullied, if given the power and courage to stand up to the bully, should be commended by his/her parents, as long as the whole incident is true. There are rules for all students and if you get caught punching another kid, you will get punished. I taught my son to stand up for himself and to look out for those who might not have the courage to stand for themselves. If he ever got in trouble for doing what I told him to do (and he has), I tell him to enjoy his vacation. I know he did right, and he knows he did right. If we look to get a free pass on the rules, then why even have rules?

As has been said by better men than I, "Don't start no [snip], won't be no [snip]."

My son was always a sensitive gentle giant type. But in the 6th grade, some boy had it in for him. He kept trying to do his fake judo on my son, sometimes making contact but my son walked away. My son complained (and cried) about it a few times and I told him to keep walking away. By the way, my son and I had practiced boxing on many occasions with boxing gloves so he knew what to do. Finally, I went to the school and complained about this bully. The school was unsympathetic and claimed no one saw the bully's behavior. I had a talk with my son and told him that the next time judo kid made contact, to hit the kid back as hard as he could wherever he could. It wasn't long before judo kid struck again. My son hit him so hard in the stomach, the kid went down and couldn't breath for a bit. My son got suspended for 3 days. So did the bully. I told my son I was proud of him and to remember to walk away when he could but if he had to hit, hit well and hit hard. Needless to say, our boxing lessons got a little more serious and a lot more accurate. Fortunately, my son was never involved in another altercation. It probably helped that he never switched schools and the students remembered how the bully went down. He is still a gentle giant, 6'6" and 300lbs.

- Palm to the sternum, if possible, bring your knee to make contact with his face if he proceeds to bend over in pain.

-Palm strike to the nose, break it.

-Downward kick to the side of the knee, break it.

-Hit him in the throat, if possible, when he plants his feet to bend over, kick the inside of knee and snap it.

-Kick him in the groin, knee him in the face.

-He tries to tackle you, gauge his eyes. Tear them out or push them into his brain (figuratively).

I am not trying to fight, i am trying to break you. Literally. If i wanted to kill you, id pull out my side arm and shoot you. However, sometimes breaking a knee or collapsing a lung is all that is needed.

Always go by the mentality that if a fight lasts longer than 3 seconds, youre doing it wrong. Never assume he will be the only one to attack you if he is in a group. Break him and prepare for the next individual. Always assume he will beat you to death. Always.

Best way to end a fight? End it before it starts.

Of course ... i guess he is a kid, but if any of you get picked on, you know what to do.

I wonder if this is more about creating a nanny tattle-tale state. What must you do, instead of standing up for yourself? Report this incident...

Reminds me of that recent News anchor so I want to know the whole story. Sometimes kids bully each other it is not always one sided because one decides he had enough. If he ever bullied anyone else or the kid who allegedly bullied him it paints a different picture doesn't it?

Schools have a zero policy, unfortunately true bullies know how to get around it, so when the kid finally had enough the Bully either got him caught or he was caught himself. One kid bullies gets away with it then frames the other kid...interesting, is this possibly encouraging psychopathic behavior?

reply to post by Night Star

That goes back to my first point. Kids are coddled too much. Yes they need love but they need to get the nip out of their mouths. Why baby them? It makes them an easy target to bullies. If they weren't so sheltered and a little tougher it wouldn't happen. Let me clear this up. It's boys I'm talking about. I raised boys and had a brother. The way girls bully is different where as boys are physical.

reply to post by joyride0187


S&F.

My father taught me to never start a fight, but always be willing to finish one.

AS long as we followed that advice we never got in trouble, but I grew up before zero tolerance BS.

Zero Tolerance rules are just excuses for administrators not to have to use their own judgment and decisions, its all about protecting liability and nothing to do with protecting the children.

Schools are always reactionary never pro active and its always to CYA.

Originally posted by Firefly_
That was pretty much the start of my realisation of what a horrible, unfair world we live in.

Exactly. If parents taught kids that from an early age, they wouldn't have to find out the hard way. My grandfather raised me. He taught me from since I can remember that the world was a cruel and hateful place and a lot of people were mean.

I hate that "zero tolerance" garbage. It translates as "zero thinking". School admins don't want to take responsibility for making any kind of judgement call.

In Junior high, the coach I had for PE was an ex-golden gloves boxer. If two kids had a problem, he'd hand them both gloves and ref the match! I had another coach who, if a kid was a problem, would literally jump him and wrestle him to the ground and pin him till the kid promised to be good and begged to be let up.
But this was back in the early 70's...

Unfortunately, the best way to stand up to a bully these days is to do it outside of school. Schools may not be able to discipline students for acts that occur outside of school. This is of course frightening because the retaliator may spend hours or days premeditating his attack, may catch the bully by surprise because the attack can happen anywhere at any time, and the retaliator may use weapons or other individuals.

There is a reason why people dealt with bullies in the good old days by letting them get beat up by the people they picked on...it was the easiest and cleanest solution to the problem. Bullying is always going to be a part of growing up and standing up to bullies should also be part of growing up. If we do not allow our children to stand up to bullies, we are not only subjecting them to abuse but we are also denying them the opportunities to learn how to confront problems in an appropriate way.

Kids need to stand up for themselves. Bullies' need to be popped in the nose.

I got in a fight with a kid (not really a bully) and we became best friends later. Another kid did bully me, I fought back, got beat, but the kid never messed with me again. Got in school suspension for one of them. As far as it effecting college, that's true from 9th or 10th grade on, but shouldn't be from 8th down.

If it is a problem, meet the kid off school grounds, take a couple of friends to "watch your back', and pound him. Most bullies have never been really hit (the push and shove, but never been popped right in the nose).

My son is not big. But he hates to see kids get picked on and has challeneged or called out bullies straight up. It's never led to a fight. Last kid said something like, "I'll kick your a$$ instead". My son simply said, "if your ready to be totally embarrased when I wipe the floor with you that's cool, I am game, let's go right here". Kid walked the other way. Of course........He also has a blue belt in Karate and last year was 2nd in the country in his division. I know at some point I am probably getting a call because some kids lying on the ground with a broken nose because he picked on some small sickly kid, and my son will probably let him have it.

This is in every school too. Even the little ones. Has been a long time. I don't know why it wasn't a big deal in the past, but a very ugly truth about human nature is coming to the surface.

reply to post by network dude


Totally agree with you.I think people are just taking this story at face value...as in they think because this kid was bullied that he shouldn't be punished for standing up for himself.Fact is,he should be.It was that way when I was in school many years ago.Hit someone,no matter the reason,you got suspended.As did they.

I was never really bullied but maybe twice in middle school.Both times I stood up for myself and both times I got in school suspenions for it and so did they.I even broke my knuckle on one kids face..and it's funny because we were forced to be in the same room together for a full day - we actually became good friends.

The funny thing i found is that a bully is usually pretty easy to take out! They are mostly all talk and have some size which makes them intimidating but they are soon sorted - i do not condone fighting and i don't fight but i stood up for myself once and that bully has ALWAYS remembered it! I went to his house one day - MANY years after school - to ask the whereabouts of a friend and he would hardly open the door...

I applaud someone who stands up to a bully and MORE so - stands up for HIMSEL|F and others who can't!!!

Originally posted by Firefly_
This is nothing new. I was bullied at primary school when I was 10, for months by 2 brothers (they later ended up as complete losers, heroin addicts and in and out of prison). Everyone knew about it, and nobody did anything about it. One day, I had enough and fought back. I was permanently excluded. That was pretty much the start of my realisation of what a horrible, unfair world we live in.

HAHAHA oh HOW this rings SO true for SO many bullies and @holes! I went to a school reunion 2 years back and it all became SO clear that after 25 years of having left school I was so to say successful and had a wonderful family etc and those i thought would make it or who were the "bullies" were nothing worth talking about!!

Karma is a b1tch

I applaud this father - and I wish I'd thought to do the same for my own child - my son was bullied all last year, ended up finally surrounded by kids egging him on to fight his bully - which led to him getting a broken nose which has left him not the same as far as the pretty nose he had, has a bit of a hump on it now. The same thing happened a month later, too. Both times - HE got suspended for fighting. Made me sick, and by the second time, I didn't even have a thing to say to him about it - what could I say? Just because they punish you for defending yourself, I guess they have a "no fault" policy, but the school never did nearly enough to stop these problems until they heard about it more than once, or actually from a parent rather than a child. (He was 13/14). The first broken nose was bad, but the insurance refused to pay for it to be fixed, didn't find out until we are at Children's Hospital about to go in for him to prep to have his nose set. He couldn't breathe through one side, but the specialist had put it down as "swelling" that would "go away" - it had been nearly a week and it was obvious he had a deviated septum - the original break really pushed his nose over. So heartbreaking, to think this kid got away with breaking my son's nose, and his parents had no responsibility in any of it toward us. The school refuses to give you any information to identify or contact them, and we didn't know them personally. I took my son home, gave him some meds my other son had for pain after dental work and never used (the correct dosage) and when he got woozy, I had to set his nose myself. I watched Youtube videos of people doing it themselves, and I'm very good with medical issues and experienced and intelligent - so, I felt it pop back into place on the second try, and that was it. It looked pretty good, until the second hit, which just messed it up but not enough to really tell what to do about it. Pretty sad story, but oh well, my son was unable to breathe until I reset it for him. He may need it fixed better when he's older, but the hospital expected him to just let it heal crooked, wait till he was 18, and pay to have it rebroken and reset - RIDICULOUS. So finally, we moved this summer to find a better school and neighborhood for him, and a nasty girl shoves him in the lunch line where he fell into the railing, and so he shoved her back (she admitted it). Her friends lied about him that he slapped her (he says) and then she pushed him again a bit later, he shoved back. He got suspended again. That's another thing that I'm so sick of, is some of these little "girls" in Jr High and High School think they can just shove, kick, or hit my sons because they are "untouchable" as females, and know how to turn on the tears or say they didn't like something that was said, etc. My older son has a form of autism and a girl used to brutally abuse him, hurting him, and he didn't want to do anything about it because he was so shy and afraid of standing out or looking weird. Of course, didn't find out about her till later. I'd get pissed if my own daughter was shoving a boy around, seriously, sexism and bullying are an even worse mix.