posted on Oct, 9 2012 @ 02:34 AM
As I write these words, it's just a hair after three in the morning. I've had a busy night making a few dollars by pulling a mountain of malware
from a neighbors PC - and the deep scanners used to find and eliminate that malware take hours to run - so sleep is not in my immediate future.
The downside to this is that watching malware scanners sort through every single file, in a modern PC - where there are hundreds of thousands of
And ATS seems to have quieted down for the night. I do have two current threads, but they appear to be comfortably tucked into bed for the remainder
of the evening - or until the Aussies start posting from their bizarro world where day is night and summer is winter!
That all left me here pretty much bored stiff.
As it happens, I really do post here in exactly the same manner as I 'd converse with friends in public. What you see regarding "Heff" is honestly
"Heff. Heck, anyone who's followed my posts for any length of time already knows, I am called "Heff" in real life too ( My family calls me John,
but they can get away with it because they are blood and I'd surely be suspect if they mysteriously disappeared.
( JOKE )
Anyway those who are familiar with my posts likely see me as a fairly high strung guy. If not? Then I'll just spill the beans. I am a pretty high
strung guy. I've got a rapid metabolism and that tends to give me a lot of energy. Energy that needs to be utilized or exerted.
Thus boredom is a very uncomfortable state... it's like overcharging a battery. If I sit her long enough I might just start leaking acid or possibly
my head could explode ( Joke again )
Usually, when I find myself in this state, I come to BTS, pick a pet peeve, and rant. It's a great release and others usually seem to relate, find
humor in it, or both. So it's usually a good thing. Only tonight, I opened this window and realized... I'm currently out of things to rant
Now I don't want to cause any undo hyperbole or stress... but I am fairly certain that at least 8 Old Testament passages, 2 Mayan prophecies, and at
least one ancient Egyptian papyrus discuss this in great detail and warn of just where me being bored ends up leading. This now has me wondering if I
am not the root cause of 2012 predictions the world over ( JOKE AGAIN ).
The odd part is that, in some bizarre and twisted, self-inflicted ritual of boredom.... I am actually actively trying to figure out things TO BE mad
about! You know... so that I can write a scathing and somewhat universal diatribe upon an "everyday Joe" subject that touches upon many of our lives
and might generate some awesome member participation. So think, think, think..
And I come up with nothing.
And coming up with nothing starts to really frustrate me. That frustration leads to anger. And BAM! I've got my rant!
I AM ANGRY BECAUSE I HAD NO GOOD REASON AT ALL TO BE ANGRY AND I WANTED TO WRITE ABOUT BEING ANGRY DAMNIT!
The only conundrum? Once I managed to get myself angry enough to have something to rant about? It made me feel relieved and happy - thus negating my
righteous rantless rant!
And now that I realize that my anger was undone by my relief over the reality that I'd found something to actually be angry about. Guess what?
ANGRY ABOUT THAT NOW!
We all know that I take special happy pills to offset the invisible scars that cover the inside of my brain. That's a fun way of saying "Heff has
issues!". So I must consider that in looking at all this from a rational standpoint.
But is this a unique experience to me? I think not. I've been married twice and lived with five or six other women during my lifetime and I've
watched them engage in very similar behavior. Especially when I was right!
Baby you need to get up off your butt and put the trash out. You know that they come on Monday mornings...
Honey, I did that four hours ago! It's all gravy!
OH DON''T YOU BE SMUG WITH ME MISTER!!!
What is it about us that makes us this way? This enjoyment of being irked or angry? Why is it so much damned fun to be righteously P.O'd???
I mean I could watch a movie... or read a book... or participate in threads... or see if a 46 year old man doing cartwheels in the dark is a good idea
or not. ( Hello, 911... you're not going to believe this. But my neighbor is laying in his front yard, in a weird position, and I"m pretty sure his
leg is wrapped around his torso..."
And yet, I find peace just sitting here ranting about having nothing at all to rant about.
Has anyone else here ever experienced this surreal sort of emotional boredom before? Can you relate? I'm mad that I've got nothing to be mad
Maybe this is like the whole vacation thing. You work for x number of months to get to your vacation. And for a day or two it's all awesome.
But after that? Ya basically sit around watching the clock, thinking "Man I can't wait to get back to work!"
Then, two days into being back at work you're in the breakroom telling Ted and Susan that you're so sick of the place and cannot wait for your next
Some would say that what I am saying is that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. But that's not really it at all.
I think what I am saying is that I might be one of those folks who wants to straddle the fence and have one foot on each side of it. I think I loathe
having to choose.
Besides, if I straddle the fence, then I can complain about the grass on both sides of it!
Great... now I've made myself happy again. D'oh!