Eight Posting Faux Pas That Make Me Twitch And Stuff...

Originally posted by NightFlight
Double post!!!!! My first one!!! I'm not a virgin any more!!!!

edit on 8-10-2012 by NightFlight because: Double post!!!!

Umm, it doesn't count if you do it to yourself.

My fave: "This is clearly a false flag about to happen" Current fave of my fave: The Enterprise is going to be sunk so the government gets by cheap...

reply to post by Hefficide


So, you read my reply history and condensed it...

2nd (Brigade Commander)

Oh, and another, since my other thread has reminded me of this:

The OVER parser/definer

A poster who parses your 9,000 world OP down to single sentences and then requests ridiculous clarifications for each:

What exactly do you mean here by the world "the"???

Also known as "derailing" and " victory through empty attrition".

But one day, some kid, out there somewhere... maybe even right now... will revolutionize the Internet by combining stun gun technology with the computer keyboard. Then we can have a feature - something like flagging - where if enough people click it? 50,000 volts to the one voted against, the very next time they try to type.

~Heff

reply to post by PatrickGarrow17


Funny thing is I started writing that before i saw you post!

Originally posted by Hefficide
Rant time for Heff again ATS... so read and forgive me if I'm harsh... I'm overdue for my meds this morning! A list of posting "techniques" and "tendencies" that always make my brain ache a bit....

The Boomerang Insult

When someone uses insults before they think.

"I know you're a fat, virgin, hopeless loser who lives in your parents basement because you spend your time on the Internet"...said over the Internet!

Might wanna reconsider that tactic sparky. Seems a bit shortsighted....

The Double Negative Fallacy Fallacy

When someone uses a logical fallacy to accuse others of doing so.

Nice straw man, jerk. I am not even going to bother clicking your link because I am positive you're a paid poster.....

Twitch... that's all I really got on this one.

The Anxious Poster

When the reply is obviously predicated on the thread title alone.

I saw the word Islam in your title and I just want you to know that you are a racist!

I've applied this to my own life. I just watched the opening credits to "CSI Miami" and now claim the title of forensic expert based upon that experience and education. Now I can check out dead bodies and sing songs by The Who with full confidence!

The 2nd Line Brigade

I agree.
2nd line

If ever elected Emperor of the world my first act will be to make this a death penalty offense!

The Entrenched poster

It doesn't matter if you have provided me 47 links proving my position wrong. I happen to know it's right!

This one has caused me a great deal of thought and my answer? Remotely activated electroconvulsive capable kepboards and mice. Flag thread.... Star Thread... Report Thread... Shock Poster for 15 seconds.. Ahhh karma made manifest!

The cryptic post meant to imply deep wisdom

When someone posts something so brain numbingly off topic and patronizing that you actually end up reading it fifteen times just to make sure you weren't actaually overreacting to it the first fourteen times.

You have chipped a shard away from the great stone of truth- now just analyze that chip and find the secret wisdom only a few of us have the capacity to comprehend!

Translation: Rehab is in my future - but I'm putting it off.for now.

The Secret Agent Man Scenario

When someone posts something totally unfounded and then tried to give it "meat" by saying:

I only know this because of the decades I speng working in covert operations - in THIS particular subject and posses reams of information about it that I cannot legally even begin to discuss or elude to

Ummm... eluding to the undiscosable information you subtly hinted towards you, in point of fact, have already vioated your ( supposed ) non-disclosure agreement. So why stop?

And my all time favorite...

The Nanny Nanny Boo Boo

When a poster says something along the lines of:

Of course I know far more about this subject than you ever will! But I will not waste my time explaining it to such an unworthy human being!

Of course there are others.... But feel quite happy getting just these seven off of my chest!

Anyone have any others they'd like to vent about? If so, the podium is yours!

Thanks for reading!

~Heff

edit on 10/8/12 by Hefficide because: Edit reason - apparently a 18 hour ATS session and no meds = psychotypochosis

Quoting a gigantic post to add only a single line response.

reply to post by Urantia1111


CLASSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One that I totally forgot to think about but which drives us all nuts.

The other option? Giant quotes of giant quotes of giant quotes.... until you can no longer read any of the quotes in it at all.

reply to post by Hefficide


# ?? : people who use the spelling / grammar nazi cop-out

you know the type -

" i am not even going to bother replying to a post with spelling mistakes "

which translates to :

i have no coherent response - but wont admit it

well crap, now im going to have to try these statements out to see if it really ticks people off, but of course you wouldnt understand so im not going to try and explain it..... ^^
cheers

reply to post by Hefficide


I think my favorite is probably a slight variation of the Nanny Nanny Boo Boo category. I have 'called out' 2 ATS members who have claimed to be enlightened. They both used the term "enlightened". One left a comment (in a rather scary paranormal thread) about how he\she does not fear anything since they "became enlightened three years ago". The other enlightened person left an insulting and condescending reply to someone who sounded sincere and earnest.

I asked them both 3-4 times to give me an idea of what they meant when they said they were enlightened.
I said I'm not even asking for any specifics. Just give me anything! Did you meditate? Did you have a teacher or guru?
Becoming enlightened is a pretty big deal in my book. Neither of them would reply.

If I become enlightened, I'll be happy to give a few pointers.

reply to post by ColeYounger


Yup, the...

I'd explain it, but it is like riding a bike. You just have to do it

escape!



FTR: I got enlightened once. Took a liter of Bacardi 151, left me bed ridden for 2 solid days, and I can't remember a single second of any of it. But I am told, by witnesses, that it was very transcendental.



~Heff

reply to post by Hefficide

Funny
Mine is this:

For some reason there is a disturbing trend that I have notice of late [color=LightPurple]that people are adding [color=PastelGreen]colour to their posts
[color=DeepSkyBlue]This actually irks me [color=Cyan]and hurts my eyes
[color=Sienna2]I really want people to stop it

Especially the yellow
The yellow [color=LawnGreen]drives me nuts

[color=cyan]Can y'all just stop it and stick to white please

[color=LightSkyBlue]Thank you

Originally posted by Katharos62191
reply to post by flashtrum

 

The "Too busy to actually read, but not to busy to comment on what I haven't read" : "Hmm. Looks interesting. I'll take a look at this later over a beer and post my thoughts on this". Are you kidding me? Thank you, oh great one, for telling the world that the post "looks" interesting, but now we are at the mercy of your beer-drinking schedule to get your TRUE take on the subject matter at hand.

This is no doubt one of my biggest pet peeves on here! I always wonder why even bother? I actually see it quite a bit!!

It's kind of fun to laugh about, but I've written to the moderators at least twice on my peeves, because I believe if they violate the letter of the law of the T&C's, and if not they certainly violate the spirit of the "law". I can't begin to site the number of posts where the OP was really interesting, and it did take 2, 3, sometimes 4 pages to get to an actual, coherent comment. The kicker? These goofs get stared. My posts far outweigh my stars and I could care less. I just wonder how someone comes across a comment like "great post" or "will read later" and actually think that little nugget is worth any sort of praise.

reply to post by Netties Hermit


The yellow I am fine with. It's the RED that makes me afraid I might seize at any moment.

In chat it's worse because there you can mix bad fonts WITH bad colors... and people DO SO!



~Heff

Yea I don't like the whole "S&F" thing either. Just flag it and move on....

I don't like all the mean spelling and grammar people, it's just rude...OKAY you're smarter...we get it .

The commenting just to be a dick to people. If you don't like something why read it and/or post comments?

HEY HEY!!! I was like "WHAT?" I can delete those stupid 'edit' things at the bottom of my over corrected post??? HOW??? got it!!

OKAY, now, I have made simple comments on long threads that I was too busy to read, BUT, for a reason. I need help with this, I recently asked the same question, and got no response.

How do YOU mark a thread you want to come back to and follow?? I use the MYATS page a lot, and so I'll make a quick post so it's easy to find later. For example: I really like this one thread about Documentaries. For the longest time I would have to use the search function to find it until i made a comment. I know I could bookmark it with my browser, but I'm thinking I'm missing something...some simple fix....what do I do???

Your Accidental Fan, Midnightsunshine!!

# whatever: The quintessential "Am I a Bad Person?'.., AKA "fishing for compliments and reassurance" posters.

# dunno: "WTF is That?" and "OMG...this is Incredible!" thread titles...only to be led to another blurry and shaky video of a Godforsaken "orb" UFO.

# uno dos tres catorce: Thread wars...petty arguing about who broke the story first...the digitized version of "]Stop copying me! and That's not fair, I said it first!"

Originally posted by Hefficide
reply to post by Netties Hermit

 

The yellow I am fine with. It's the RED that makes me afraid I might seize at any moment.

In chat it's worse because there you can mix bad fonts WITH bad colors... and people DO SO!

~Heff

Yeah, well your smiley faces are making me crosseyed.

Oh and this

reply to post by Urantia1111


That's hilarious!

Another one is when people reply with nothing but a "good job" or "I agree" and add nothing else

OH yeah, I can't read the colored text either, and I don't try too. I don't like when people's avatar info underneath is in a text color that I can't read without highlighting it.

AND

I forgot my biggest peeve...already mentioned... Quotes. Yes, they are good in small doses but if the OP starts with a long quote, most of the time I move on. I want to read what you have to say and your take on things. If I wanted to read articles, i'd go read articles.

And I like the sillyfaces They make reading fun!!!!

Here's one of my favorite posting formats.

Sentence from previous post

Wrong

Next sentence from previous post

Also wrong

Next sentence from previous post

Also wrong

Next sentence from previous post

Also wrong

Next sentence from previous post

Also wrong