Lesbian Custody Battle!!

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posted on Oct, 4 2012 @ 05:38 PM
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Originally posted by thehoneycomb
reply to post by PurpleChiten
 


No, you said you don't understand my argument, which is fine. You dont need to understand, but if you tried maybe you would. Personal attacks are not very helpful.

That was my personal experience with this issue, I am so sorry that I put it on this forum and it is not good enough for you.

Anyways, a non-custodial parent who was married recently to another woman, because it just came legal in the state of NY, so then they get divorced and for whatever reason the other woman takes her to court and goes and gets custody of a child that is not biologically related to her. From what we know, neither party was abusive in any way to the child nor was it proved that the child was neglected or in any type of danger or threat. The judge awards the non custodial parent.

Gay marriage still not an issue?

tenth and I didnt agree at first and still probably dont agree on alot of it, but we worked through it.

How about discussing this without the personal attacks?

It is one thing to have an innocent child stripped away from you, it is another to be ridiculed by complete strangers for sharing my experience.


The only way to support what you have just said would be if you were one of the gay women, specifically the biological mother, who were in court? Is that the case? If not, then what you have just said holds no water.

The ruling of a judge on a case between two women over the custody of their child, custody they both had for whatever reasons, has no bearing on your own battle with your girl friend and the custody of the biological child you share. If you wanted to address your own situation, you would have presented a story that at least had some similarity to yours. You switched to your own experience after you saw that your attempt at getting people to throw hatred toward a lesbian couple in a custody situation due to their orientation didn't pan out.

Either this is about the lesbian couple or you need to make another thread concerning your experience because they have nothing in common.

The lesbians were legally married and shared custody. When they legally divorced, custody was decided by the judge. You were not legally married and gave a short quip about your girl friend getting custody of the child that you were both biological parents of that have nothing to do with the OP or the topic.

Now, let's return to the topic. How does the relationship status of these two women affect you? How does the judge's decision affect the child involved? Was it for the good of the child or was it to satisfy one party over another? Chances are, he/she weighed all the evidence and made a judgement. It's his/her job to do this. He/she has a great deal of experience in these issues (child custody) or he/she would not be in that position. You have shown no authority in the area, yet you wish to attack his/her authority. He/she was educated, worked in the field, passed the bar, is authorized to be a judge and is the authority in this case.

What exactly is it you are trying to show other than display your hatred for people who are homosexual and trying to discredit gay marriage due to your own opposition to it and nothing more?

So NO, gay marriage isn't an issue. No more than two people having a child out of wedlock is if we want to relate it to your situation.
So far you have:
Attacked gay marriage on the basis of the children, yet you had a child out of wedlock that it's mother has primary custody of and you get visitation for.
Attacked gay marriage on the basis that it demeans marriage, yet you had a child out of wedlock with your girlfriend.
Attacked gay marriage as not being good for the child because they get divorced and one gets primary custody, yet you had a child out of wedlock and don't live together, didn't marry and have separate custody rights.
Attacked me personally when you didn't like statements that were on topic and started slinging hatred and insults at me, then, when I stood up for myself, you escalated and then tried to make it seem I was the one attacking instead of the one defending myself and trying to get you back on topic.

Your score isn't very good here. Are you going to return to the topic and discuss it or continue to try to derail it?



edit on 4-10-2012 by PurpleChiten because: (no reason given)




posted on Oct, 4 2012 @ 05:47 PM
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reply to post by PurpleChiten
 


First of all, I do not hate gay people. Does that mean by default I support gay marriage? No, I do not. Sorry. Am I a homophobe? Kinda. Ive been approached by gay people and sexually harassed by some. But do I hate gay people for being gay, no. Ive had gay friends beforeThere are respective lines however that should not be crossed. I respect their right to do whatever they do as long as it is not pushed on me or exploited then I have no issues with it.

As for the court case, did anyone prove that the biological parent was a bad fit, by proving she was hostile, neglecting or abusive? No

Therefore the child should remain in custody of her biological parent. No questions asked.

But there is an agenda here, one you plainly support.



posted on Oct, 4 2012 @ 05:57 PM
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Originally posted by thehoneycomb
reply to post by PurpleChiten
 


First of all, I do not hate gay people. Does that mean by default I support gay marriage? No, I do not. Sorry. Am I a homophobe? Kinda. Ive been approached by gay people and sexually harassed by some. But do I hate gay people for being gay, no. Ive had gay friends beforeThere are respective lines however that should not be crossed. I respect their right to do whatever they do as long as it is not pushed on me or exploited then I have no issues with it.

As for the court case, did anyone prove that the biological parent was a bad fit, by proving she was hostile, neglecting or abusive? No

Therefore the child should remain in custody of her biological parent. No questions asked.

But there is an agenda here, one you plainly support.


It may have been proven but we will never know that. Those records are not open to the public. So, how could you possibly know if nothing was proven? There are laws that prevent you from knowing if anything was proven or not proven so you are making assumptions based on your hatred of homosexuality and then grasping for straws to try to support the hatred that you showed.

If the judge ruled that the other parent got custody, there was a reason for it. People don't just walk in off the street and get to be a judge. They are educated and experienced in the field and the judge had his/her reasons for giving custody to the parent that he gave it to. The biological mother is always favored in court cases, we all know that. So, there must have been something pretty major to give it to the other parent. YOU don't know because you are not privy to those records. You are making assumptions and attacking a particular case to try to attack gay marriage and you have failed.

You have shown one and only one thing, you are bigoted against homosexuals for whatever reason.

I don't believe your statements concerning being approached by homosexuals. You can claim it all you want, but I highly doubt it. That's a common line used by people who hate homosexuals for whatever reason, they lie about it. They try to paint a picture that justifies their hatred and 99% of the time, it's lies. I feel that is the case here.

You have not supported your position in the OP in any way, shape or form. Do you even know what the position in your OP is or was it something you grasped at in order to try to throw your hatred out to the masses?

Bigots and hatefilled people don't like it much when people stand up and ask them questions like this. It angers them, it infuriates them because their hatred and bigotry isn't being freely accepted and agreed with. It may be a good idea to get used to it because for the first time in our history, the MAJORITY of people support same sex marriage and support gays having the same rights and protections as the rest of us. Those of us who aren't homophobic and who support our gay/lesbian brothers and sisters are standing up now just like our ancestors stood up to the people who hated blacks and wanted to keep them in chains.
The battle of hatred has been lost. You will no longer be allowed to treat the homosexual citizens with hatred and violence just because they're gay. Just as caucasians stood up with their black brothers and sisters, the heterosexuals are standing up with their gay brothers and sisters and we will no longer allow the hate filled bigots to treat them with any less respect than all people deserve. You don't have to like it, but there isn't anything you can do to stop it.



posted on Oct, 4 2012 @ 06:08 PM
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And just for the record, if I had a minor child, was the only parent and was diagnosed with a fatal illness and found out that ToTheTenth would get custody of that child upon my death, I would feel blessed knowing my child would have a wonderful parent to love and cherish them and help them become a responsible adult.
I would not feel the same if the child would be going to the OP due to the posts made here. I would rather my child be raised by a gay man or woman who would love and provide for my child than be raised by someone full of hatred or ignorance who may not provide a good home for the child.



posted on Oct, 4 2012 @ 06:10 PM
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reply to post by PurpleChiten
 


Did you watch the video? I will research it more as I find it very historical and interesting, but for now, it said in the video why the judge awarded custody. No where was it proved that the child was in any danger or threat. Being a male I would have to prove that in the court without a shred of doubt to win my own case.

However this person is not being held to the same standard. She may have psychological issues after all she is going after custody of a child that belongs to her lesbian ex who is biologically related to her. She may be doing it out of spite or revenge or just cold heartedness. More red flags go up for me to her than the biological parent, however I understand that maybe the biological parent wasn't in the best place either.

Doesn't give the state to auction the piece of like a piece of real estate. Its a child. A child that is probably too young to even understand why this is happening.

It makes me sick to my stomach and you have no compassion for children, as you already made some sort of veiled threat to mine. Its absolutely disgusting.

I do not support gay marriage, call me whatever you want. Im a hate filled bigot, whatever you say, but Im not going to apologize to you or feel sorry for you.



posted on Oct, 4 2012 @ 06:11 PM
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reply to post by PurpleChiten
 


Well Im glad you don't have any children.

Tonight Im going to pray that you never have any.

But if you ever do, maybe then and only then will you understand.



posted on Oct, 4 2012 @ 06:14 PM
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I didn't watch the video as Im on mobile device & cannot w/ m.ATS, but I have to play devil's advocate here.

I too think on the surface it is never a good idea to remove a child from their bilogical parent, but what if that parent is unfit? A drug abuser or heavy drinker? In that case the other lesbian who is neither of those things, would be a better fit.

The most important thing to remember when considering custody is that the child's well being trumps all. While it may seem suitable to leave the kid with their blood mom, Im sure the judge saw fit to award the other lady custody because something was either endangering the child, or the child was in danger of being neglected if the mom was at work 80 hrs a week. Something told the judge to protect the kid.

Right?


 
Posted Via ATS Mobile: m.abovetopsecret.com
 



posted on Oct, 4 2012 @ 06:15 PM
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reply to post by spinalremain
 


Hi none of those issues came up as far as I know.

The judge just decided she was a better fit.

ETA: also please look into the "merit selection" as my discussion with tenth. We have a bunch of corrupt judges in domestic courts.
edit on 4-10-2012 by thehoneycomb because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 4 2012 @ 06:19 PM
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Originally posted by thehoneycomb
reply to post by PurpleChiten
 


Did you watch the video? I will research it more as I find it very historical and interesting, but for now, it said in the video why the judge awarded custody. No where was it proved that the child was in any danger or threat. Being a male I would have to prove that in the court without a shred of doubt to win my own case.

However this person is not being held to the same standard. She may have psychological issues after all she is going after custody of a child that belongs to her lesbian ex who is biologically related to her. She may be doing it out of spite or revenge or just cold heartedness. More red flags go up for me to her than the biological parent, however I understand that maybe the biological parent wasn't in the best place either.

Doesn't give the state to auction the piece of like a piece of real estate. Its a child. A child that is probably too young to even understand why this is happening.

It makes me sick to my stomach and you have no compassion for children, as you already made some sort of veiled threat to mine. Its absolutely disgusting.

I do not support gay marriage, call me whatever you want. Im a hate filled bigot, whatever you say, but Im not going to apologize to you or feel sorry for you.


Yes, I did watch the video, however I seriously question if you did or not.
1. The video has no more right to those court records than you do so they were giving their opinion just as you are.
2. The video stated that the parent who got custody was the adoptive parent. That means she had all the same legal rights as the other mother.
3. The state DOES have the right to decide who has custody whether you like it or not.
4. What was proven or not proven in court will never be shared with you or anyone else, those are closed records. You cannot and will not find out what went on in court, nor did the producers of the video. That is for the judge and the two parents involved and nobody else.
5. These two women were held to the exact same standard as any other parents in a divorce/custody hearing. They shared their side with the judge and the judge made the decision. Adoptive parents have the same rights as biological parents. They were both the mother of the child and the better mother got custody.
6. I've made no threats of any kind, shape or size, you however made a veiled threat of wanting to shoot me.
7. YOUR pity is the LAST thing in the world I would want. That would be somewhat akin to someone who works 40 hours a week wanting pity from a homeless man on the street outside their office building in my opinion, not something that would ever happen.
8. If I had no compassion for children, I wouldn't have dedicated my life to them.
9. Having compassion for children isn't determined by having a one night (or one month or one year) stand with some woman then whining about it afterwards.
10. Yes, I do feel you are a hatefilled bigot.

I guess you earned a 10% with 1 out of 10 assertions being correct.



posted on Oct, 4 2012 @ 06:21 PM
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Originally posted by thehoneycomb
reply to post by PurpleChiten
 


Well Im glad you don't have any children.

Tonight Im going to pray that you never have any.

But if you ever do, maybe then and only then will you understand.


Why do you think I have no children???? I stated if I had a MINOR child, was the only parent...blah, blah, blah.
Not having a minor child does not equate not having children. Again, you are reading, or misreading, into something because you are incapable or unwilling to do otherwise.



posted on Oct, 4 2012 @ 06:23 PM
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Originally posted by thehoneycomb
reply to post by spinalremain
 


Hi none of those issues came up as far as I know.

The judge just decided she was a better fit.

ETA: also please look into the "merit selection" as my discussion with tenth. We have a bunch of corrupt judges in domestic courts.
edit on 4-10-2012 by thehoneycomb because: (no reason given)


Were you sitting in the court room???


Those records are not open to you and they are not open to the people who made the video so you have no right or reason to say they never came up. You have no idea and you will never have an idea because you are not privy to those records.
If the judge made the decision, there was a reason for it.



posted on Oct, 4 2012 @ 06:27 PM
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reply to post by PurpleChiten
 


I will pray for your children too, if you do have any.

Peace



posted on Oct, 4 2012 @ 06:31 PM
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Originally posted by spinalremain
I didn't watch the video as Im on mobile device & cannot w/ m.ATS, but I have to play devil's advocate here.

I too think on the surface it is never a good idea to remove a child from their bilogical parent, but what if that parent is unfit? A drug abuser or heavy drinker? In that case the other lesbian who is neither of those things, would be a better fit.

The most important thing to remember when considering custody is that the child's well being trumps all. While it may seem suitable to leave the kid with their blood mom, Im sure the judge saw fit to award the other lady custody because something was either endangering the child, or the child was in danger of being neglected if the mom was at work 80 hrs a week. Something told the judge to protect the kid.

Right?


 
Posted Via ATS Mobile: m.abovetopsecret.com
 



I agree, the well being of the child should always be the primary concern


That certainly seems to be the case in this story.

....also, the video didn't oppose the decision in any way, shape or form, they just told what the story was, period. They didn't favor or oppose the judge's decision, they just reported the story.



posted on Oct, 4 2012 @ 06:32 PM
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Originally posted by thehoneycomb
reply to post by PurpleChiten
 


I will pray for your children too, if you do have any.

Peace


Please do, I do so every night. So far, all those prayers have been answered and they are very happy, healthy, well adjusted adults.
I will most definitely pray for yours and hope he/she finds happiness in their life.







edit on 4-10-2012 by PurpleChiten because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 4 2012 @ 07:43 PM
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Take out the word custody in the title and I'm more interested



posted on Oct, 4 2012 @ 07:43 PM
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- dp -
edit on 4-10-2012 by Rexamus because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 4 2012 @ 08:08 PM
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Originally posted by tothetenthpower
reply to post by thehoneycomb
 


SO you think that divorce among same sex couples is somehow different than with straight couples?


Hell Yes I do. The child should have Never been in that situation in the first place. The child has much less of a chance to be traumatized with proper parents, a man and a woman in this same situation because thats the natural way. You let gay freaks bring up children which is unnatural then subject them to the "parents" going nuts it's a double whammy. These people aren't right in the head to begin with and you let them raise children?

Damn your politically correct intolerant BS propaganda. This isn't normal. These people are freaks. There are genetic mutations inside of them causing them to think unnaturally.

There is a cure for the gay mutation too www.gentlewisdom.org...

tell me.. if it can be cured - then - how is it not abnormal?

It can be turned and off in fruit flies too www.livescience.com...
edit on 4-10-2012 by JohnPhoenix because: sp



posted on Oct, 4 2012 @ 08:28 PM
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Originally posted by JohnPhoenix

Originally posted by tothetenthpower
reply to post by thehoneycomb
 


SO you think that divorce among same sex couples is somehow different than with straight couples?


Hell Yes I do. The child should have Never been in that situation in the first place. The child has much less of a chance to be traumatized with proper parents, a man and a woman in this same situation because thats the natural way. You let gay freaks bring up children which is unnatural then subject them to the "parents" going nuts it's a double whammy. These people aren't right in the head to begin with and you let them raise children?

Damn your politically correct intolerant BS propaganda. This isn't normal. These people are freaks. There are genetic mutations inside of them causing them to think unnaturally.

There is a cure for the gay mutation too www.gentlewisdom.org...

tell me.. if it can be cured - then - how is it not abnormal?

It can be turned and off in fruit flies too www.livescience.com...
edit on 4-10-2012 by JohnPhoenix because: sp


1. There is no cure because it's not a disease.
2. You can't change someone's sexuality.
3. Having gay parents doesn't traumatize a child, they are traumatized by the homophobic hatred displayed by other people and the bullying done by the hate filled bigots, not by the loving parents.

The parents don't traumatize them in any way, shape or form. Any trauma they suffer comes from the hate filled bigots that attack them and their parents on a daily basis. All the hatred from the ignorant masses continues to torment them each and every day. The bullying needs to stop and it needs to stop NOW.
There should be laws inacted that makes the hate filled bigots pay for and be responsible for the damange they do.



posted on Oct, 4 2012 @ 09:49 PM
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I don't see how gay divorce is any difference than straight divorce. Both have negative effects on the children. This is just your imbicile small minded conservative way of twisting facts to suit your opinion which you made up long ago.

However, I am interested in seeing homosexual divorce rates compared to hetrosexual divorce rates. This is purely specualtive, but I think that a smaller porportion of gay marriages end in divorce.

I don't see how gay rights being granted effect you at all. They aren't forcing you into a homosexual marriage after all. Moreover, we all know that saying gay marriage is a threat to families is a joke. C'mon, come up with a constructive response to support your homophobic agenda at least.

Moreover, your use of libertarian rhetoric to try and slur homosexual unions seems a bit ironic. I can see a few oxymorons in your post. Don't tread on me being one. Maybe if you stopped pushing your nose into other peoples business you could actually be a real libertarian instead of a phony.

Small feeble minds are concerned with other peoples business because the fact that they don't wish to have the same lifestyle as the mainstream is something their minds can't comprehend. It's similiar to how the KKK and other hate groups oposed inter-racial marraige.



posted on Oct, 4 2012 @ 10:30 PM
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Originally posted by thehoneycomb
reply to post by Hushabye
 


Well this child has now lost both of its biological parents.

Totally different ball game now!


Which leads to abandonment issues later in life, which in turn leads to other psychological disorders and a general lack of trust in their own future relationships as they will carry that baggage with them the rest of their lives.





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