posted on Oct, 4 2012 @ 05:46 AM
i hate cases such as this. none of us really knows who is at fault for what. given the age of the girls and time spent with her, chances are they have
been brainwashed, or at least could have been as we can't really know. at that point the children"s opinions may have been formed on a base of lies
and therefore i would have to go with the original court's ruling as at least they have had a shot at the truth. if such abuse was indeed taking
place why did she not try to fight it? not KIDNAP the children to another country in the hope that she could stay hidden.
this is the sad part of divorce. adults wanting to hurt each other or gain some sort of revenge, and use any children as pawns in a game of hurt the
other person. they will even try to take a pet they hate just because the other loves it and so it is a weapon to be used against the other. i have
heard far to many horror stories of friends and people i know getting the big screw when it comes to divorce
heck one person i know, their ex used a stack of beer bottles the other had been collecting for a couple years (like many people who build a huge
stash to cash in when actually worth something or need the cash), as a sign of a drinking problem leading to abuse. the reality was my friend had been
laid off and so wasn't able to give her what she wanted. the ex is now divorcing the second mate as they are no longer able to work, yup looks like
abuse was the issue there. but sadly this seems to be common. an expression i often hear from those in the middle of divorce is "take them for
everything they have". and if they have to make up stories to get what they want, they seem more than willing to do so.
in another case of friends one parent convinced the court the other was mentally unstable (gee guess how they achieved that, abuse of course). so the
mother had no parental rights for years. then as she got some rites back the horror story unfolded. the other had remarried to someone with three kids
of their own, so add the three kids from the first marriage makes 6 kids right around the same age area. the sad thing was the new spouses kids got
everything, while the other three were virtually paupers in the family, getting nothing but hand me downs. all the toys were the other 3 kid's etc.
if that wasn't bad enough as the kids got older one of them decided they might be gay. so the "good, not mentally unstable" parent who had
demonized their spouse started to abuse that child to "fix" them. including taking her to a "deprogrammer type". the other parent felt she
couldn't even go to the authorities as they might figure she was just out for revenge and maybe loose her rights again as they could possibly say she
was "unstable" again. so instead of a happy childhood those kids were basically in hell. all because of the way divorces seem to work as it
i'm at the point of saying that instead of all the BS involved in pointing blame to get money. just divide everything in 2 equal parts, and go their
separate ways. no alimony or child support. instead children should spend an equal time with both parents, (with time also set aside for grandparents
typically the biggest looser in a divorce or breakup). in case where abuse is PROVEN outside of wild accusations that seem to go along with divorce.
then the child should spend the time normally allotted to the GUILTY parent transferred to the grandparents or other relatives in their place. if a
parent wants to move a fair distance away then they would need to set up arrangements to transport children back and forth, i would think at the
expense of the parent wanting to move. in the case of a person wanting to go to another country then they can either leave the child in the care of
the other parent or set up some sort of arrangement with the embassy to insure that the children are not kept from the other parent. in a case like
this something like alternating years sounds like a decent idea for extreme distances. i would also think that regular interviews with the children
from an outside agency of some sort to insure no turning children against the other parent occurs would be a good idea. this is about the fairest
thing i can think of for the entire families involved. especially the children. i will agree that it is still somewhat unfair to the children but
better than things stand now.