Evil thoughts, why?

Originally posted by Indigo_Child
OCD really sounds tempting. I have no faith in psychology, and in fact many people I know, have no faith in psychology. Personally I think it is a whole load of rubbish. I have had a few counselling sessions before, I even tried to study it( I left it, because of it's fakeness) on the same disturbing thoughts and other emotional issues. They could not help me, so I was referred to a psychotherapist and a psychiatrist. He could not help me either, after a year, he told me, he could do nothing else. I was also referred to some support groups, most of the people I met there, had been there for 10, 20, 30, 40 years, and had gone nowhere. They were all addicted to the anti-depressants or anti-psychotics, all they did were suppress the problem, and then the problem would manifest itself again into an acute episode. Further, as recent studies have shown, these drugs actually create psychological dependence, tolerance(Once you adapt to the drug, you need more) and all sorts of side-effects, which can in fact make the episodes worse.

I was also put on anti-depressants. It did nothing for me. After a month, the psychiatrist discontinued them, telling me my problem was not psychiatric. In other words - I went through the entire medical psychology system, and they all gave up on me, putting a label on me: emotional instability disorder.

I have a mild case of OCD, but it has always been channeled into my work and has never really caused me any problems. I never had to take meds for it, nor seek professional help. Actually, it makes me better at some of the jobs that I have done, like I used to work on commercial aircraft, who better then someone that checks and rechecks everything is correct prior to the plane departing?

Anyway I was not suggesting that you get medicated, or even that you go to a psychiatrist, unless you feel that it is extremely sever, I was simply saying that knowing what is causing it might be a help and give you some comfort. I have had some strange things pop in my head out of the clear blue and bug me for days, but because I now know what causes it, I do not even give it a second thought anymore.

On a side note, I have noticed that Virgos seem more prone to this then others, while I do not believe in astrology; everyone I know that is born in September is a compulsive perfectionist. Is there anyone out there that knows why this is?

I tried this, and it's worked for me: Satan, you cannot affect me, no matter how much you try, I will not do anything you say. Even intrinsically, I will cease to even listen to you. I will ignore any of the thoughts you implant, because I know they are not mine. You can try all you want, you will not affect me, because I have god's light protecting me. I am protected by golden white light, and you cannot fight light, because you are darkness, and darkness dissolves with light. You are terrified of god's brilliant light. You are terrified of me. I am light, I am truth. It is inevitable that this light will shine on you too, because light is what creates, and ultimately, even your existence is created by light. Everything you send me, I will deflect back to you, with light, filled with love. You can resist all you want, but ultimately you will become light.

I don't think Satan is going to mess with me now

Yes, I experience this a lot. The thoughts just seem to come 'out of the blue' and I did start to think that I truly must have an evil spirit, or at least be open to manipulation from 'darker forces'. I spoke a little to my psychiatrist and psychologist about this, and both agreed that as long as I didn't act on the thoughts, they were perfectly harmless. The psychologist said that it is actually quite a common 'complaint', amongst 'healthy' people as well as those with mental illness.

She also discussed the possibilty that some of these intrusive thoughts were probably part of my OCD, which makes sense to me. Also, it can be a reaction to previous traumatic event/s etc. I also tend to get a lot of looped thoughts; um..just random rubbish really, but repeating over and over in my head...very tormenting.

I have sort of learned to try and deal with it, but there are still times when I believe that I am inherently evil, or possesed or whatever Like you said though, the more you try too avoid the thought/s, the worse it becomes..I guess it'a like asking someone to think of a pink, spotted hippo, and expercting them not to create a mental image. I guess, I just worry that there will come a time when these thoughts become 'urges'...but then, I am the one in control here, and deep-down, I think I know that I'm a pretty decent person.

eye34

Wow, I didn't know that thoughts like this were that common. I thought I was only one of a few psycopaths that had thoughts like this.

Personally for me not thinking about it is the best way to deal with it. When that doesn't work I try my best to replace the thought with something else, you know, something else to keep thinking about that isn't as bad. It's still hard to stop it though no matter what I do.

I don't know if I should be saying this but I have had thoughts of molesting children, acting out violently and other stuff that I can't even mention it's so bad. Thinking about this stuff disgusts me but I can't stop it. I also feel like I'm a bad person if I don't think about it and am not disgusting myself wtih it.

Anyway, that's all I'm gonna say about that. Alls I'm trying to do is go to heaven when I die

Don't believe in forced entry
Don't believe in rape
But every time she passes by
Wild thoughts escape



its normal to have thoughts, what counts is you know its wrong to act on them......