Daystar and TBN to broadcast Jesus return 'live' from Mount of Olives

reply to post by FlyersFan


They may be waiting for Jesus but what if the Anti Christ comes for them instead?

Originally posted by Em2013
*stands up*

No, I'm Jesus!

no...i am sparticus...i mean jesus......no actually im pharaoh...ahhhhhhhhhh

# 99 and a half of you...got to have all, all of your love....phew..ozone and turbo got me back on track...

i am....legend

peace

Jesus will come off the Mount of Olives and start bitching at everyone for being so screwed up. He will be arrested and imprisoned and sent to a hospital for some shock treatments. A few doses of Thorazine and he will be in Lala land texting as he drives. That's the way it goes in the modern world. I don't think he would return. He'll just cleanse the earth and maybe then play with the Dolphins.

If I weren't so incredulous, I would laugh.

Maybe Jesus will bring Walter Cronkite and Peter Jennings back with him so they can broadcast the event to heaven.

I can't wait to hear reports from Geraldo Rivera and Jerry Springer.

I don't mean to sound sacrilegious----but human beings can't even see what's right in front of them, and would rather choose to spend their time picture something that might not be.

There's plenty to see right in front of you folks....plenty to see.

I wonder if Jesus will make an appearance on Coast 2 Coast with George Noorey after Daystar and TBN.

George.....East of the Rockies you're on C2C, do you have a question for Jesus?

Caller....Jesus, how do we know you're the son of God?

George....Jesus, can you show us some documentation? How about a drivers license?

George....wild card line you're on C2C...

Caller....My Lord....I'm a sinner....

cue bumper music by Cusco

cue audio ad for store-able food for the apocalypse and windup radios...

Originally posted by Tardacus
I`m surprised that they aren`t going to try and make it a pay per view event

edit on 2-10-2012 by Tardacus because: (no reason given)

They will, but it will be called "pray per view" har har

Originally posted by reject
reply to post by FlyersFan

 

I really think this was what Jesus taught originally:

20 Asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, He replied to them by saying, The kingdom of God does not come with signs to be observed or with visible display,

21 Nor will people say, Look! Here [it is]! or, See, [it is] there! For behold, the kingdom of God is within you [in your hearts] and among you [surrounding you].

until people with less than innocent motives went and added more lines particularly this:

24 For like the lightning, that flashes and lights up the sky from one end to the other, so will the Son of Man be in His [own] day.

convoluting the original precept and making Jesus appear to contradict himself in the same breath

edit on 2-10-2012 by reject because: luke 17

The physical kingdom of heaven was at hand when he was last here, but he had to post pone his reign to save the rest of our sorry asses.

Originally posted by FlyersFan
LA Times - Daystar, TBN ready for Messiah in Jerusalem

Texas-based Daystar Television Network already beams a 24-hour-a-day live webcam from its terrace. Not to be

I so want to sneak up to that 24 hour live webcam dressed in a robe and sandals just to freak them all out!

edit on 2-10-2012 by bhornbuckle75 because: WWJD? He'd edit this post.....so that' what I did.

der hur hur, jesus comes before the total destruction part.

When he came last time how did it happen? The expectations are a bit high I think...people need to stop watching movies.

And theoretically...if he starts teaching on the internet it would be like lightning across the whole globe. And recorded for all to see via video upload...IMHO. Man...poor guy will need freaking lasers shooting out of his eyeballs and levitating mountains at the rate these guys are going...

Perhaps a sign in heaven(the sky) will accompany his return...

So now we've got 1,000,000 people who will be at the Mayan ruins this December, and another million sitting around the mount of olives waiting for Jesus to appear before them. Then there's that little mysterious island out in the pacific ocean they found with the Mayan monument on it, so we know some will be there. Oh, let's not forget all of those folks who will be going underground in their little bunkers this holiday season too.

Seriously,what is wrong with this world. So easy to manipulate.
But whatever, bring in the new world already.

reply to post by GD21D

It suggests that these human beings are incomplete, thus somewhat flawed.

He's not suggesting that the human beings themselves are incomplete or flawed, rather their faith.

Christianity came out of Judaism. Thus if Christianity is true, and Jesus is the Messiah, the Jews aren't completely following their faith as they ought.

reply to post by FlyersFan

From what I've read in the bible I really don't think that when Jesus returns there is supposed to even be electricity running let alone people sitting in their homes watching TV or checking webcams on the internet. The world is supposed to be in ruins and chaos.

If one subscribes to a pre-, mid- or posttribulational eschatology this is the case (and of course, the view is correct). If one is post- or amillennial then the world could be significantly better than it is today when Christ returns.

No one knows when the return of Christ is.Jesus does say He will return on Mount of Olives.I seriously doubt they could broadcast something like that happening.

reply to post by Panic2k11

G,day mate. have carried this little jem around in my bible for 40 plus years here goes word for word.
the daies of Tiberius Ceasar, Publius Lentulus being at that time president in Judea, wrote an epistle to the Senate and people of Rome, the words whereof were these: There appeared in these daies a man of grate virtue named Jesus Christ who is yet living amongst us and ofthe gentiles is accepted for a prophet of truth: but his own disciples call him the Son of God: He raiseth the dead and cureth all manner of diseases. '' A man of stature somewhat tall and comely with a very reverent countenance such as the beholders may both love and fear. his hair the colour of a filbert full ripe and plaine allmost downe to his eares, but from the eares downward somewhat curled and more orient of colour waving about his shoulders. THE discription goes on at length, the piece that struck me is. quote - In reproving he is terrible, in admonishing courteous and faier spoken, pleasant in speach mixed with gravity. It cannot be remember that any have seen him laugh, but many have seen him weepe. In speaking very temperate modest and wise, a man for his singular beauty surpassing the children of men. So that is the part observation of Christ from a Roman point of view. does this count toward proof of life . ( ques. how do you do paragraphs on these friggin computers.)

Originally posted by lonewolf19792000

Originally posted by reject
reply to post by FlyersFan

 

I really think this was what Jesus taught originally:

20 Asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, He replied to them by saying, The kingdom of God does not come with signs to be observed or with visible display,

21 Nor will people say, Look! Here [it is]! or, See, [it is] there! For behold, the kingdom of God is within you [in your hearts] and among you [surrounding you].

until people with less than innocent motives went and added more lines particularly this:

24 For like the lightning, that flashes and lights up the sky from one end to the other, so will the Son of Man be in His [own] day.

convoluting the original precept and making Jesus appear to contradict himself in the same breath

edit on 2-10-2012 by reject because: luke 17

The physical kingdom of heaven was at hand when he was last here, but he had to post pone his reign to save the rest of our sorry asses.

postpone my posterior...

yeah, right

like I said: convoluted

The simplest explanation is usually the right one:
Matthew 5:8 (MSG)

“You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world

Why do I even bother?

I'm done here

reply to post by pronto


Do you know what the 'enter' key is?

I'm going to tiptoe around that, because at this moment, my tongue is clasped firmly between my teeth. As to the rest of it: a physical description does not prove or even indicate divinity, especially when the populace has a very selfish take on divinity. End of story.

I forgot, why is he returning again??.....is this the guy whos gonna get up all the zombie people to take them somewere in zombieland???

reply to post by rocha123


He's coming to judge, to open the proverbial can. Check out Isaiah 63:1-4.

reply to post by pronto


Can you source the quote to the real historic document ?