I am soooooo over it

reply to post by boncho


I definitely did let my emotions rule. I wear my emotions on my sleeve which is something I really need to work on. My supervisor is trying to save her own butt, I learned that today. Apparently she is trying to prove herself for a managerial position so she used me as an example of her supervisory excellence.

I was wrong. You are all right, I should not have said I would go higher if I had to. If I were to do that I should've just done it had it been necessary.

Lesson learned. THanks!

reply to post by FissionSurplus


Thank you. I took the online test and it said I had "above average emotional intelligence."

Ha!

After day 1 of class, emotional intelligence is not so much about controlling your emotions but guaging the other person's emotions so you can see what is driving their words. Learning not to take it personally.

reply to post by Ex_CT2


Thank you. Great advice and I will definitely heed that advice. My supervisor is NOT my friend. I learned the hard way to not share ANYTHING personal with her EVER again.

I am a very trusting person. I gave her trust without her earning it. Another lesson learned.

I seem to be learning a lot these days.

reply to post by ~widowmaker~


First of all, I accepted a temporary internship to learn a role in another department. I am not crap. I work very hard and get paid very well.

Second of all, you might want to join me in the emotional intelligence course.

I am a Manager, I love my Job.
For a company to hold you back is ridiculous also bringing up one on one "confidential" conversations usually violates every employers "Open Door" Policy.

I love seeing my people succeed and getting promotions even though I miss them I never get in their way of moving up the chain, that would just be selfish and inconsiderate.

reply to post by k21968


Just remember, when you work for someone, everything you do is wrong. They are smarter than you, and you're an idiot. It is perfectly logical for them to explode over trivial matters, but if you show even a mild annoyance, you are, in fact, being hysterical.

Ya can't win. Even if this Emotional Intelligence Quiz proves that you're A-okay, like me!

Take this test

Originally posted by FissionSurplus
There are several types of intelligence:

Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups. Various models and definitions have been proposed of which the ability and trait EI models are the most widely accepted in the scientific literature. Ability EI is usually measured using maximum performance tests and has stronger relationships with traditional intelligence, whereas trait EI is usually measured using self-report questionnaires and has stronger relationships with personality. Criticisms have centered on whether the construct is a real intelligence and whether it has incremental validity over IQ and the Big Five personality dimensions.[1]

en.wikipedia.org...

It is not, in my opinion, a true intelligence, but rather an indicator of maturity.

Having said that, your boss is a giant FAIL when it comes to emotional intelligence. A mature, emotionally "intelligent" person would not betray your confidence to screw you over in front of her boss.

She should be required to take the class along with you.

You can actually go to a local bookstore and buy a do-it-yourself book on how to test your own Emotional IQ, or go online to: www.ihhp.com...

I have to let you know.. youre a God in Aspieland. My oldest kid is an aspie.. and I think I may refer her to your posts.



OP I agree.. and the whole emotional IQ thing was used against you because she felt threatened and knows she is inferior to you and your drive. To betray a confidence would get her a squirt of liquid ass ( the practical joke stuff.. not literal liquid from ass.. erm... whatever) in her car from me. Id have seen what you did and said as admirable and the kind of person Id want on my team. Maybe you should go after HER job.

Sounds like typical corporate b.s. along with all the "out of the box", "kudos" crappy corporate made up words and phrases...."emotional immature" or whatever sh1t they came up with. If it doesn't make sense it's because they already made there mind up on who THEY WANT to have the position, and rarely does it have anything to do with who's the best choice. I HATE corporate enviorments!

You are very possibly working for a narcissist. If so, BIG MISTAKE.

You may want to look up NPD, Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Check out the traits and main characteristics.

Narcissism is more common and dangerous than many people realize. It's a serious disorder that's often ignored or downplayed. Some people think narcissists are just very self-absorbed people. But, it goes way beyond self absorbed. Unlike other mental illnesses their disorder does NOT affect them -- it affects everyone in their life.

They project their stuff onto others because they have an inferiority complex, even though they act superior. They are the most (except for sociopaths) toxic, abusive, destructive people you can have in your life. They destroy good, decent people emotionally and financially.

Aside from lacking empathy for others, one of the main characteristics is low emotional intelligence or EQ.

They accuse others of having low EQ as a form of distraction, and also to create drama, as they feed off of the negative emotions that they inspire/evoke ... the anger, fear or pain of others.

Working for a narcissist or living with one is very dangerous. Many people who work for one or who live with one or have one close in their life wind up abusing drugs and/or alcohol as a way to escape the pain and emotional torment. They try to make you think you are crazy -- that's what they do. Having a narcissist is your life is playing with fire.

As I said, from an emotional and psychological standpoint they are dangerous people to be around, especially because their disorder does not affect them -- but, it will affect and impact you ... and not in a positive way.

Never, ever confront them about their disorder or ugly behaviors and never confide in them. Anything you say can and will be used against you ... after they twist and spin it to suit their needs. It's best to safely get them out of your life (let them think they dumped/rejected you) and move on without them.

Google NPD. I hope this helps. Good luck.

I don't think emotions are the issue here. Both you and your boss seem to be lacking certain social skills. Your boss especially. If your place of employment has contacts to "emotional intelligence" classes, then I don't think they know what they're doing from a human resources standpoint. Unless that class teaches you how to keep work at work and home at home. I look at a place of work as just another type of social construct. Like a bar, or a church, or a restaurant....they're all different from a social standpoint in that you're expected to behave in a certain way in certain places.

An old boss of mine gave our entire shift a piece of advice a long time ago ; "When you go into the place where you work, check your personality at the door". He did that because the office politics and personal backbiting was starting to effect production. Unless you work for the circus, your job pays you to produce, not socialize. I'm not saying be a robot, just keep the socializing to a bare minimum. Whether it's sales, construction, or writing, you get paid to produce things. Learn the company policies like the back of your hand and keep your professionalism tight and close to the vest when you apply them. You might come across as a bi*** while you do it, but at least you're a bi***with focus. ( And yes, those kinds of women can be dangerous) Office politics might slow you down a bit, but policies are there for a reason. And the main reason is to override the politics that every job on this planet has.

Try that, sweetie, and you might find more peace of mind then you think. But in the meantime, have a drink on me.

reply to post by k21968


It sounds like your bosses have "control-syndrome." They want to keep you down, but still keep you working. You have to have a somewhat high confidence to work, but not such high confidence that you actually think for yourself, and that makes you want to climb the ladder of success higher. They don't want that at all.

They want to be the only ones on top.

I say tear em down. Fight the machine!

reply to post by k21968


i dont think you are literally crap lol, in the intern world, you are a coffee getter ^^ but im glad thats all you got out of it.