I Was the Real-Life “Girl Interrupted”

reply to post by otherpotato


I feel terribly for you after having read your story. I wish I could go back in time when you were that teenager and give you a hug. I'm so sorry you had to endure that. I thank God everyday my Mother raised me with the values I have and that I have God to turn to in my dark hours. Prayer has saved me from a lot. I pray this day that God shines his protective light on every step you take into your future.

For what it's worth You don't sound a bit bi-polar to me because I dated a girl that was, and everything had to focus around her. She never thought of helping others. Which is how I take your posts. As though you are ultimately trying to help someone. Anyone. May God bless you for that.

PmnOrlando

I studied psych at college. I got the feeling it was an insurance racket. I now work retail

I have to say this is a thread that should be read by all ATSer's and showed to family and friends.

Thank you to all of you who have shared your stories.

I am in tears reading this thread, as well as angry.

If ever a thread was worthy of ATS it is this one !

To those of you who work within the psychiatric institution and do your best to expose the corruption..GOD BLESS YOU !!!!

To those of you who have suffered , my heart goes out to you, and I pray that somehow your life will find the healing it needs.

Originally posted by WhisperingWinds
I have to say this is a thread that should be read by all ATSer's and showed to family and friends.

Thank you to all of you who have shared your stories.

I am in tears reading this thread, as well as angry.

If ever a thread was worthy of ATS it is this one !

To those of you who work within the psychiatric institution and do your best to expose the corruption..GOD BLESS YOU !!!!

To those of you who have suffered , my heart goes out to you, and I pray that somehow your life will find the healing it needs.

It definitely is angering knowing that money rules a lot of people, and that psychiatric facilities often work for the bill payer.

reply to post by bangoli


That's the problem, with the system...these behaviors are defunct coping mechanisms that; can be worked out. But, with drug reps walking through medical centers, like lobbyists in the back halls of Washington...real therapy rarely if ever happens.

I had a really pompous psychiatrist once, that would always talk down, be condescending and dismissive to me.

One day, I said: Do you like your position? He said: Are you trying to threatening me? I said: Are you paranoid? He removed his hands from being interlaced behind his head, dropped his leg from being crossed over the other, and leaned forward in his chair...looked over his glasses and said: What are you doing? I said: Asking simple questions, does that bother you? He chuckled and said: You had me going there for a minute...

I said: I wasn't joking; do you like your job? He said: What is this all about? I said: To be honest; you are a pompous ass that doesn't care about anyone that walks through this door, pride goes before a fall...are you in this to help people...or sit back and collect money for 5 minutes of work when the ticket says 45 minutes, with the amount you get paid for these 45 minutes?

He said: Oh, I don't set the times. I said: Oh, so at the end of the day...you have a tally of the time your actual appointments take and turn that in then? He said: Why are you doing this? I said: I thought maybe it wasn't too late; for you to start taking your job seriously for what it is...and since it was doubtful you'd decide that on your own, I figured exposing you defrauding the government, and all the insurance companies of your patients; was serious enough for you to pay attention to and get down off whatever high horse it is you're riding.

He said: There's a warning in your file that you're smart; you know I could have you committed. I said: For what? Asking you if you liked your job? I am clearly not a danger to myself or others; which is the criterion for commitment. So think about what I have said; this is the last you will pilfer using my name, good day. I stood up walked out and have no idea how that bastards life has been since.

As far as lacing drugs...it's a black market system; there are no controls with prohibition, certainly sounds safer for kids to me...

Wow, I respect you for your courage to share your story. I had a rough childhood but it was social services not a hospital. So for me it's an abandonment issue and something I still am working to come to terms with.

It's interesting when you think about how some people can come from such a loving and nurturing environment, while others are cornered and forced to fight for their very existence. I suppose that's the point. It's what makes us so diverse and sometimes it's the challenges we face that gives us the strength to do things others dare not. It only takes one person to change the world.

I hope that your life tapestry ends in bright colors and you find a way to overcome the drug induced and mental behavior modification that was placed on you.

reply to post by bangoli


Your post made me cry (thank god I have an office where no one can see me!). This is the very dark side of treatment for the mentally ill, and part of what made me so terrified to be a part of the system. I am thankful every day I never had to experience that side. I may have been a lab rat, I may have been held against my will, but I was never degraded, abused or molested. I cannot fathom living the way these poor souls were forced to live.

Unspeakable acts like what you describe are what make me doubt the good of humanity and make me so angry I can barely see straight...but then people like you exist and I hold out hope. Thank you for your compassion and goodness. Whatever blessings I can send across the miles to you I am sending...

Originally posted by gentledissident
I studied psych at college. I got the feeling it was an insurance racket. I now work retail

This made me laugh out loud! Thank you, I needed a good laugh. Heavy stuff going on in this thread.

reply to post by Ghostx


Please don't mistake my reasons for posting this thread as being in any way intended to deny responsibility for my own problems or behavior. Yes, I had issues back then (and have since, and probably always will) that led me to the hospital door. But my extended stay was absolutely NOT motivated by a need to be hospitalized - an outpatient treatment plan would have been far more appropriate.

My intention was more to shine a light on the profit motive side of mental health, and how it can corrupt an otherwise good and noble institution. It's no different than any industry that loses sight of its humanity in the lust for more money. As a general principle I think much of what is wrong in the world is the god of profit over people.

I'm glad you've been able to pull your life together. It's not easy work. I hope you feel the sense of accomplishment you deserve.

reply to post by BigBrotherDarkness

That's the problem, with the system...these behaviors are defunct coping mechanisms that can be worked out. But, with drug reps walking through medical centers, like lobbyists in the back halls of Washington...real therapy rarely if ever happens.

You hit the nail on the head with that one. It's far easier to get a prescription than an appointment. In my more paranoid moments I wonder if there is some agenda to get everyone on a drug - I am seeing more and more advertisements for the most bizarre life style drugs, all of them with a slew of side effects that read suspiciously similar to those of psychiatric drugs...OK end paranoia. I need to be able to sleep tonight.

As for your story:

Im sorry this happened to you. And I wouldnt have too much faith in the psych system even today because its still about keeping people on drugs instead of solving the actual problem that makes a person feel the way he/she does.

Our feelings are key to our souls. If something feels bad, it means you are guided to change the circumstance that makes it feel bad. This could mean to change your job, divorce your partner or whatever. But instead, people just "cope" and pick up the happy pills.

There is so much wrong with how people are treated today. We are not machines but are being treated as we were. And even worse, most people dont seem to believe they are supposed to be happy.

If they realized they reincarnated here for a reason, they would start to wonder why they are not happy and they would do something. Because then it has a purpose.

reply to post by otherpotato




Parents should stay in there periodiclly to see the goings on and maybe some parents need help for kids
But those places are still barbaric and you need to fit their cookie cutter vision of how to be. F&$@ that. I'd break out. If I had problems I don't think it's helpful being around people with problems all day but be around positive influences.

Don have kids I you don't want to deal with sh/7 cause most problems develop in the home from the parents. Nothing a lil conversation and support can't fix. I think people and famalies can be capable of getting to the bottom of anything. The strength within famalies can also be a weakness and power abused too.

Originally posted by otherpotato
reply to post by ValentineWiggin

 

Thank you for sharing - I don't consider it thread jacking at all. I truly did not expect to hear so many stories from others and I am SO glad that is what's happening. Really grateful.

The eating disorder part of my experience was a whole separate experience. I can remember going to meetings with the girls downstairs (first floor was for the eating disorder girls - I couldn't go there because I was too young, you had to be 18+). The meetings always became a competition: who threw up the most, who binged the most, who lost the most weight, who took the most laxatives, who punished themselves with the most bizarre exercise rituals, who exercised the longest...instead of helping me overcome the illness it just reinforced it more. Group therapy for eating disorders is the worst idea ever in my opinion.

Then there was the "dietitian" who stands out as the biggest piece of crap provider I had while I was there. The woman had the nerve to tell ME she was going independent and that our bill would be separate from the hospital. She tells me, not my mother. I had no idea what that meant. It took my mother years to pay off those bills...from a woman who offered me no help whatsoever.

I am actually not a big fan of Girl Interrupted, mainly because I'm super picky about movies, or maybe because I felt the story was overly sensationalized once Hollywood got its hands on it. Life was far more boring inside then they portrayed, the people were far less glamorous. I tend to prefer "One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest" even though it's not technically my story (and fiction to boot) because it feels more poignant and captures an essence about the situation that "Girl" failed to deliver.

And then there were the relationships forged there, like you said. I shared some of the most intense moments of my life with people I never saw again. They saw me at my ugliest, my rawest. They heard me scream and scream like an animal for over half an hour in the quiet room. I wonder sometimes what happened to them.

Oh the stories...I could just go on and on. That book is sounding more and more like a good idea.

I'm currently writing one that includes a lot of this, but it's based more around suicide and my contribution involves anorexia and other eating disorders being recognized for what the really are, the "Death by a Thousand Cuts" of suicide.

I think about the people I met there almost every day. I can never forget, it was so long ago but I remember it like yesterday.

My skype is ValentineDemosthenes if you ever want to talk

Originally posted by WhisperingWinds
I have to say this is a thread that should be read by all ATSer's and showed to family and friends.

Thank you to all of you who have shared your stories.

I am in tears reading this thread, as well as angry.

If ever a thread was worthy of ATS it is this one !

To those of you who work within the psychiatric institution and do your best to expose the corruption..GOD BLESS YOU !!!!

To those of you who have suffered , my heart goes out to you, and I pray that somehow your life will find the healing it needs.

I'm glad it happened. I learned how to think my way out of a situation. It saved my life a few years later.

reply to post by otherpotato


Really extraordinary! I had no idea about this, but reading it, I'm not surprised. This makes me wonder whether it was simply a "for profit" trap, or was it "for profit" AND for more nefarious purposes (MK Ultra, etc.)

Also, I just want to thank you for writing so well. I cannot stand to read most if what is written on the internet these days because translating it into English is typically such a chore that I lose interest in the message before I can extract meaning out of the nonsense people write. Seriously, this OP was one of the top 10 most well-written posts on the internet of the decade.

Thanks for sharing OP.

It truly terrifies me that people stand to profit over such things.

It also terrifies me it actually goes on and you experienced it, how do these people get so much power and decide someone else's life?

Perhaps worst of all, some of them probably think they are 'helping' people.



I'm glad you got out and are now able to sort you life out

WOW! I don't know what else to say but WOW. Back when I was in college I had a good friend who was studying mental health and did his internship at a mental hospital. He told me such places are less interested in actually helping people and more interested in simply warehousing patients and keeping them doped up and under control. His experiences makes your experiences all the more nightmarish.

Can you get a lawyer and go after that mad scientist's lab you were imprisoned in? Incorrectly diagnosing you as bi-polar and then pumping you with drugs that screwed you up mentally for life is medical malpractice. I don't know if there is a statute of limitations on that, though.

reply to post by bangoli



As per your reference to "Bob Schauerhamer" above:

Bob has been a volunteer at the Community Emergency Assistance Program for the past eight years.

^Out of the 'kindness' of his lil heart?

How could that be?

Robert Schauerhamer, Minnesota psychologist, convicted of criminal sexual conduct involving a 24-year-old mentally impaired man, was sentenced to 110 days jail August 16, 2001.

The Robert Schauerhamer reference at bottom of the page of this link.

A revolving door?
Who is managing this situation?
No background checks for this fella?

There needs to be a restrainer order for this perv. preventing folks like him from partaking in the 'care business' and a periodical work audit performed for these child predators to ensure they are not up their ole tricks!
They shouldn't be anywhere near the care of children/adults once convicted of a sexual crime.

It appears this problem went all the way to the top as seen here.

Here is a positive 'move'. Hope it's enough.
And, 'no', never was a victim, personally, though heard some incredible stores over the years!

reply to post by otherpotato


Thanks for sharing.

You are very brave telling your story here, which demonstrates your mental resilience .

S&F

reply to post by ValentineWiggin

I'm glad it happened. I learned how to think my way out of a situation. It saved my life a few years later.

You may be glad it happened, but many others are scarred for life, with the drugs , as well as the trauma.

Some most likely committed suicide after getting out.

Nope..I'm not glad it happened to any of them.