I wanted to share a very deep, very intense realization that I might never have found without the help of the AboveTopSecret community. It started
with a discussion of reincarnation, which led me, as my interests are wont to do (which is why I'm interested in them
) to WHY. WHY these
There's lots of secrets in life, lots of undertones and overtones and sidetones and whatever tones you can come up with. Plots and twists within
plots and twists. But what is the meaning of it all? Is it a giant helix, a spiral winding around itself endlessly, a constant seamless stream of
experiences carving us into one being, like the Egg Story? Or is it a carnival ride, filled with images and sensations and twists meant to confuse us
enough that we'll understand the importance of what we're about to see next, before finally comign to a stop so we can decide whether to join the
next ride or go home to wherever we came from?
No one knows. No one can say for certain, "This is the truth. This is why we're here. This is what we have to do." Because it's all individually
based, right? We're divisive as a species, but we can feel something coming where we cannot survive without uniting. Thing is, we lack the knowledge
and understanding to complete that transformation just yet. We're still children, teens, trying to rebel against authorities while proving we still
You all know what I'm saying, so before I get too off track, here's my point. Understanding. That's what we're here for. Understanding of what?
That depends. But that's also beside the point. In the end, we want to understand everything. And then, maybe, we'll start all over again. That's a
story for another universe, I suppose. So the question here is: how do we understand? Maybe that's not your question, but that's mine. I would liken
it to the cat and the bell. Easy theory, sure, but how's the practical approach going to work out? I don't have that answer. But pondering it,
during that discussion of reincarnation, lead me to an insight that I find incredible.
Rambling aside: Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, our understanding is not complete. Maybe we're not ready for it. Maybe we're not looking in
the right places for it. Maybe we don't WANT to know. But the day will come, I hope. Because I, for one, am not afraid of knowing. If I was afraid of
knowing, there's no point to living in reality. I might as well create my own world in my head and live apart from all of society, become a god in my
But that just isn't fulfilling for me, and that leaves only one choice: find the truth, or come as close as I can to a complete understanding of the
theory of all. Apart, I only have one piece, or a handful of pieces. Hopefully, here, I can find a whole truckload of pieces that no one knows what to
do with, or has people a little confused because they're missing what I have. And eventually, I can follow the crumb trail to the gingerbread house
and confront whatever ultimate truth I find inside. But there can be no finish without a start. Maybe the start IS the finish, but I don't know that
Hence, the reason I'm on ATS. And I'm thankful for it every day. You all provide a tiny piece of the puzzle. My dream is to die knowing if I helped
the ultimate purpose, and whether or not there IS a purpose. Some say it doesn't matter; I say to them, "It matters to me. Even if I don't find
what I'm looking for necessarily, I'll find something as a consolation prize. And I can die knowing my life was worth an answer." And here on ATS,
there's scores of people saying the same thing.
Maybe that's what this thread means to me. Should I find an answer I really wanted in this life, I can take it with me to the next life so I find the
next piece. Like a train. And when the train is finished, I'll ride it wherever it goes next. Is that the meaning of life?
Maybe. But that's what I'm here to find out. So today, I got that one piece. Only one piece. But maybe, that piece is all I need for now. I'll find
out when I reincarnate, eh?