The Replacements [OWWC]

“Hey, toss me that roll of packing tape, will you?” asked Jake.

“Sure thing. ‘Just a sec while I take this thing down,” replied his fellow presidential aide, hoisting a heavy, framed diploma from the wall.

“I just can’t believe it,” said Jake, “An incredibly successful 2008 campaign, four years in the White House, our guy wins a second term, and we’re still sent packing.”

“I know,” said TJ, “It just doesn’t seem right. But, the regime change was mandated, apparently from very high up.”

Both men ruminated in silence for a few minutes as they packed all the papers, books and mementos that represented the last four years' work into cardboard boxes.

“Well, look at the bright side,” said TJ, at last. We’ll finally get some sleep. The last few months on the campaign trail didn’t do any favors for that receding hairline of yours.”

“Yeah, I know.” Jake ran his fingers through the remains of his tousled locks. “First, we were way behind in the polls…” He lowered his voice. “I mean, the real polls, not the public ones.”

His companion shot him a knowing look.

“Then, when we lost Biden, I thought it was all over. You couldn’t have written a more dramatic campaign conclusion in a Hollywood script. I mean, one week before the debates, the guy just suddenly drops dead from heart failure.”

“Did it seem a little coincidental to you, too?”

Jake shrugged. “At any rate, pulling in Oprah as the President’s running mate was a brilliant stroke. I couldn’t believe the way our numbers shot up in the last month. I had no idea she was that wildly popular.”

“Yeah, well, what’s really important is the question of whom she’s popular with.”

Jake said nothing. His questions were the kind that you just didn't ask.

“Never mind,” said TJ with a dismissive wave. Then, changing the subject to dispel a suddenly awkward air within the room, he asked, “Have you seen any of her people—our replacements?”

“Yes, I have,” answered Jake. “They’re an odd bunch. It’s like an Amway convention on steroids.”

TJ laughed.

“And, they all have that weird stamp on their right hands with the OWN logo.”

“Her highest-ranking guys have it on their foreheads. It gives me the creeps. I tried to have a transition discussion with her deputy administrator the other day. He was a complete robot, with the personality of an ice cube tray. And, his answer to every question was, ‘We’ll have to consult with Ms. Winfrey.’ It’s like she’s some kind of queen bee, directing her drones’ every move.”

“Well,” said Jake, “They’re a good match, then. The President has his drones, and she has hers.”

Both men chuckled.

“Okay,” said TJ, taping the last of his boxes shut with a sigh, “That’s it for me. ‘You wanna’ shoot over to O’Malley’s for one last after-work brew?”

“Sure,” replied Jake, pocketing his cellphone, “‘Sounds like a plan.”

The two men donned their coats and scarves, and traversed the West Wing hallway for the last time. Midway through the corridor, they stood aside for a tall, dark man carrying two massive boxes.

“Which way to suite 95?” he asked, in a flat voice.

“’Just through there,” directed TJ, “and the second door on the left.”

The man continued down the hallway without offering any thanks or even an acknowledgment. TJ and Jake just stared at each other for a moment, and watched him head toward their old offices. From their position behind the man, they couldn’t see that his pupils had resumed their normal deep, blood-red hue and that his expression had transformed from one of blank stupor to utterly malevolent disdain.

As the man turned the corner, Jake raised an eyebrow and clapped his colleague on the shoulder. “Come on. It’s time we got outta’ here.”

The former aides stepped into the chilly DC night, and heard the door click shut behind them as a small monitor on the security guard’s desk broadcast a breaking news story. “This just in. Marine One, President Obama’s helicopter, has reportedly crashed near Thurmont, Maryland, while en route to Camp David. Details are unconfirmed, but the initial reports indicate there are no survivors…”

He was a complete robot, with the personality of an ice cube tray.

Nice work!

I could almost see this sequence of events happening in the real world.

reply to post by isyeye


Thank you, Isyeye. I think your fluffy Obama usurper may be even scarier than mine!

reply to post by graceunderpressure


Well done! Kinda came out of left field on that one.

Good job!

Originally posted by beezzer
reply to post by graceunderpressure

 

Well done! Kinda came out of left field on that one.

Thanks, Beezer.

I usually end up playing left field, no matter what position I start in.

reply to post by graceunderpressure


Whaaat? Oprah as Potus? That is insane, but clever. SnF.

Good reading.

Originally posted by Druid42
reply to post by graceunderpressure

 

Whaaat? Oprah as Potus? That is insane, but clever. SnF.

Good reading.

Thank you, Druid. I tried to imagine what could be more horrible than another four years of Obama. The list was short. I figured that if I wrote about Justin Bieber or Snookie as POTUS, then no one would read my stories anymore.

The Oprah role was just plain awsome. Very well done. A joy to read. Also this is a bit off topic but you have the coolest avatar on the entire site. I had a red squirrel jump in my treestand about two feet from my face yesterday and his eys did the same thing as the ones in your pic when he realized I was right there. Anyway good job S&F

reply to post by usmc0311


Thank you, USMC. You truly made my day!

So, you recently had a squirrel-in-the-headlights moment? I've had the same experience. They're so funny when they do that. Anyway, I'm very glad that I traded in my "cool," esoteric avatar for the simple bug-eyed tarsier. Someone once told me that their kids made them go to my posts over and over again just to see it.

Oh My God, an Executive Order stating we have a mandatory Oprah Book Club reading list.
All citizens must read 50 Shades of Gray

Originally posted by graceunderpressure
reply to post by usmc0311

 

Thank you, USMC. You truly made my day!

So, you recently had a squirrel-in-the-headlights moment?

I've had the same experience. They're so funny when they do that. Anyway, I'm very glad that I traded in my "cool," esoteric avatar for the simple bug-eyed tarsier. Someone once told me that their kids made them go to my posts over and over again just to see it.

Everytime I see your posts I sit and stare at it for a few moments before moving on. It is mesmorizing.

Originally posted by DAVID64
Oh My God, an Executive Order stating we have a mandatory Oprah Book Club reading list.
All citizens must read 50 Shades of Gray

Read Akeelah and the Bee or I'll send in the domestic drones.

Noooooooo!!!! Make it stop!

Originally posted by usmc0311
Everytime I see your posts I sit and stare at it for a few moments before moving on. It is mesmorizing.

Come to think of it, USMC, your own avatar is rather mesmerizing. I confess complete ignorance, here. It's a self portrait of whom?

Originally posted by graceunderpressure

Originally posted by usmc0311
Everytime I see your posts I sit and stare at it for a few moments before moving on. It is mesmorizing.

Come to think of it, USMC, your own avatar is rather mesmerizing. I confess complete ignorance, here. It's a self portrait of whom?

It's M.C Escher. I added the redness for my own personal touch. It reminds me to think and look upon myself when I see red. AKA when I am angry.

Originally posted by usmc0311
It's M.C Escher. I added the redness for my own personal touch. It reminds me to think and look upon myself when I see red. AKA when I am angry.

Escher! I adore Escher. 'Have a great reproduction of his staircase piece in my humble art collection. I like your touch of red and the reasoning behind it.

Back on topic before the mods come after us...am I the only one who thinks TPTB have the perfect loophole for ushering in a POTUS of their choice in the guise of a VP running mate and an early POTUS demise? I mean, no one really cares about the VP that much. When Sara Palin almost got in, it should have been a huge wake up call.