I know my first post
wasn't a great hit with all you ATSers...probably because my
flowery language makes it sound unbelievable. But hopefully this will be a meaningful post that can be related and I will tone down the frills...ah
the perils of an English Lit minor.
I know this topic has been addressed before,
among others, but I have a feeling that I
should share my story like the many others in the Grey Area, and people can give me advice.
Please bear with me that I am not quite sorted out just yet, but as I continue researching about Wanderers, the many gaps that have been prevalent in
my life are beginning to be filled by repressed memories I've never had.
Of my earliest recollections, I go back to a night in 1992. I had just turned two years old and was suddenly woken up by a noise. I opened my eyes and
saw floating orb of orange above me. There was something calming about the orb and I laid still or was made not to move by it. Suddenly, a mouth
appeared on the front of the orb and gave a quick "Shh!" s if telling me to be quiet. In the following years, I start having really vivid dreams,
along with a strong fascination of UFOs and extra-terrestrials. I would lap up anything about space, aliens, gods and legends, and carry a strong
longing of leaving either my home (in my town) or my bigger home (Earth).
When I was 9, another event happened. I was at a local festival that had some walking trails in a small stand of trees. It was late at night and I was
waiting for my grandparents when I decided to go for a walk. It wasn't until I got a little ways in that I started to feel strange, like everything
slowed down. There was a chill in the air and I decided to turn around and go back before it got too dark. But night fell quickly even though I was
still in a state of slowness, and I found that I had tripped over a rock or tree root on the ground. After I regained my footing, I looked up and a
bright light appeared before me, then dulled some. When my eyes adjusted, I was greeted with this image:
For those who do not know, that is Shiva, one of the main Hindu "gods". I did not know his name at the time, but I remembered him from the story of
Ganesh I read in a mythology book. Unfortunately, I only remember small bits of this encounter, though I do recall a feeling of peace and that his
expression was calm.
Shortly after that, the longing and vivid dreams became more frequent. I also became more susceptible to energies, both good and bad, along with my
current hypersensitive hearing. I felt disconnected with the world around me, and may be a contributing factor to my previous mental state.
The most remarkable thing though, is everytime I close my eyes, there are always a pair of eyes staring back at me. They are cat-like and bright blue