posted on Sep, 24 2012 @ 12:36 AM
I have recently come upon quite the dilemna and I don't know whether or not I'm even ready to deal with any of this. I have not only come to a
crossroads but a difficult decision as well.
Last year, I finally came to a hard truth about myself, that I was in fact bicurious. This was hard to accept at first though I completely supported
the LGBT community, I thought of myself as straight. Well, that is just background and has nothing to do with the situation of now.
I for a few months have had a guy in North Carolina interested in me, but I live in Pennsylvania. The distance is a major factor and I've never
really actually "met" him. At the same time, something new has begun happening. One of my female friends just got out of a bad relationship (she is
a lesbian) and I think recently there is a connection between the two of us and I think that she is going to try to ask me out soon. Here begins the
I feel guilty for thinking about going along with this because I feel slightly committed to the guy miles upon miles away but I mean... She is here,
she is tangible. I also know that I'd never EVER be able to tell ANYONE if I tried to make something work with her because if my family ever found
out they would hate me and my mother would kick me out and I'm completely dependent right now. I don't want my life to change, people to hate me all
of a sudden (my family members), and for my mother to kick me aside like I'm trash of some sort. Many of you will think that I am overreacting about
the being kicked out for that thing, but I'm not. She's openly said many times that if she ever found out I was into women, she'd beat it out of
What should I do, ATS? Should I risk it? Is it worth it? Because of how my family members would react, it also feels like I am being tricked into
thinking what I'm doing is wrong... Like I feel guilty and yucky even though I know I shouldn't. I just wish I could give it a chance with this girl
if she is truly into me. She is sweet and we've grown close recently. >.< I just don't know what to do and it is tearing me up.