How long does it take to shake off "The Lonliness"?

reply to post by Julio


The more experiences you put between you and the day of your breakup, the sooner you'll feel yourself again. Force yourself to try new things. Even if you hate what you're doing you'll start focusing on that and less on your ex.

Time and experiences. That's the only healthy cure.

You say you're not that type of guy, well guess what you should be that guy. No joke I was like you too bummened out when me and my last ex ex broke up. I know you miss your ex and doing the romantic stuff. It's nice. But I bet you're missing the lust more than all that other sappy stuff. Find yourself a friend with benefits. It will ease the pain. There's absolutely no reason why someone else shouldn't be draining your pipes. Sex with a girl that is not your girlfriends builds a certain type of confidence. Your confidence will be there and you won't even notice. It will start to come natural. I'm telling you it works and keep your head up dude.

Meanwhile, at OPS house.

*Mooohoo Im hurrrttttinggg..*

at mine

*hic, you say wot now?*



aaaaannnd then we count pay checks...

I would suggest making a list of all the things you gained, learned, from being in a relationship with her. Be as detailed as you can be, and as honest. Relationships are chemistry, but they are also workshops, where we trade and or learn qualities the other possesses, we wish we had. The other, has a different way of seeing the world and your world is always richer for having been able to experience that.

What are the things you miss most about the relationship that maybe you did not value at the time?

These lists are for you, study them, then mail them to her. I think you will find that to be healing. The is no shame in grieving, it is appropriate when a loss occurs, no matter it was the right thing. Best wishes to you.

i had the same problem a year ago i went through hell and back and it made me stonger i was so dependent on her i was lost when we finely ended it and my mother gave me the best advice , to be happy again you need to find your self, dont dwell on the past and take every days opertunitly, if some one asks you to go for a drink or a kick about say yes never say no, soon you will make lots more friends to fill that small gap she left behind, and friends are for life partners are there untill something ells comes along

and i think right now this song is perfect for what im saying


by the way his album is so good well worth a listen

Thanks for all the replies guys! Ton of good advice here
I read over everyones comments and it's nice to hear you're not alone in a situation (there's 7 billion humans on the planet, clearly Im not alone and people have experienced things a trillion times worse, but it does help to hear peoples stories).

On the bright side I suppose I should be happy that it was a quick relationship...Cant imagine what some of you went through after many years with the love of your life


"But I bet you're missing the lust more than all that other sappy stuff."
Not really at all. This will sound corny but I just miss...(ughh this sounds lame) cuddling and movies and having someone to take care of, y'know?

I really like the idea of doing something business related...I think that's smart, and more like how I used to be.

Today I watched the Sixth Sense, what a terribly sad movie. Probably wasnt the greatest choice of movie to see on a gloomy sunday

reply to post by Julio


thats all you can do mate get back how you used to be and if you go looking for happynes you will never find it because its all ready there just do what you want to do for a change do something you love i find happynes when its just me the road and my motorbike with music in my ears cant beat it

There have been some great responces on here. Good advice.

My fav. To thine own self be true. one has to learn that in life.

Sadly i have the hard way, 2x with marrage.
First wife ran off with my best friend, in my caddi.
My second wife came home after 14 years and decided she was gay, packed her stuff, took my son and moved.

Time is the only thing you have to help, and even at that in some cases time will never heal the wounds.
But you learn to move on, and start a new.

There was also some great advice given, "Be her friend". Right now, that may seem painful to you and awkward, but in time that will go away and you will still have a great relationship with her.

I know these sayings are such cliche, ?sp? But they are true, as i have learned time and time again.

Find a hobby, buy a bike (motorcycle or pedal) and get out there.. Enjoy Life No one is Guaranteed Tomorrow. I say this from experience because i am on a short time limit.

She is gone so, you have no reason to be sad or happy. That is my take on "love"

Heart broken? More like given more time to look for another girl. Maybe a better one.
Lonely? No such thing. Hang out with friends or enjoy being a long wolf and the perks that comes with both options.

Not saying be "positive" here, just saying that you are looking at the closed door while 10 doors are open. Do what you want.

"How people treat you is their own karma, how you react to it is your own"

Shaking bad feelings off is a matter of undoing the way you react to a situation by replacing it with positive feelings.

If you have learned something from a situation, then why punish yourself by clinging to those feelings. Sometimes we forget pain and loneliness are not a comfort blankets to hold.

Feeling wanted and not lonely starts from within, no one can change it but you.

Good luck,

RT