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Islamic Jokes (I think this is worth the look.)

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posted on Sep, 19 2012 @ 11:59 AM

Originally posted by cavalryscout
reply to post by charles1952


Allah will make you pay for your "jokes"!

Why would god make anyone pay for jokes? God created jokes from my point of view to take the load of and see things from a higher perspective. From my point god has a wiked funny humorous side to it, but unfortunatly most are not aware of it. To bad. Who do you think has all the best jokes. God or a human?

posted on Sep, 19 2012 @ 12:04 PM

Q: What did the Afghan police say about the woman who had been shot 15 times?
A: The worst case of suicide they had ever seen.

Horrible joke...
But sadly true.

posted on Sep, 19 2012 @ 12:04 PM
Jesus and Mo - some are quite funny.

posted on Sep, 19 2012 @ 01:25 PM
reply to post by Stormdancer777

Dear Stormdancer777,

Thank you over and over again for those videos. It makes me think that there are some "normal" Muslims out there somewhere. Maybe there is a chance for communication and common ground. Perhaps the next film to that part of the world should be The Three Stooges. We might have to hold back on The Life of Brian for a while, though.

Now, how does the world get rid of those who can't laugh and replace them with those who can't?

Oooo, Oooo. I just had a thought! When Ahmadinijad speaks at the United Nations, have somebody glitter bomb him! Preferably, Ru Paul. What a photo!

With respect,

posted on Sep, 19 2012 @ 02:06 PM
Im not sure how relevant this is but I thought I would post it anyway
I work at a defence establishment that has trainees from all over the middle east. One of my collegues (who calls everyone "lofty"),always says when he greets one of our muslim cadets "Asulah Allah kum lofty" (muslim friends please forgive my poor spelling). This has spread among our muslim friends, and now they all reply with a huge grin on their faces "Asulah lofty". From this I have deduced that genuine followers of the Islamic faith have a well developed sense of humour.
edit on 19-9-2012 by hotel1 because: he removed

posted on Sep, 19 2012 @ 02:10 PM
reply to post by charles1952

Ba Dum Toosh

Will you be here all week>

posted on Sep, 19 2012 @ 02:53 PM
Hi Charles - I think that the subject you raised is very interesting and has produced some enlightening discussion.
I guess my reply could be categorized as 'Islamic support' - I'm not Muslim, I'm just a small town British woman that happened to marry a Muslim and moved back to his home country in middle east. I don't have any particular axe to grind ( despite my only posts so far being around this subject), it's just I am living among Muslims in an Islamic society and might just be able to give a little insight into this subject ( hopefully).

To be honest, I read the 'jokes' on the OP and also the Islamic rules regarding laughing and telling jokes and was surprised to see this. Surprised because I've been to many a gathering where laughter and joking are aflow and on a daily basis witness and interact with people who have a laugh and a joke ( and a sense of humor) absolutely no different to in the Western world. So to see these 'rules' seemed out of place to me!

I'm sat with my ( Muslim) husband so asked him if it is true that there really are these rules regarding too much laughter and what is his understanding of them? Well, nothing too extreme - the first point to note is that ( I quote him!) these are guidelines as opposed to hard and fast rules. The Quran, as I understand it, offers guidelines on everything from eating to sex to, well, laughter and it's more a case of how to behave appropriately than sinning on a huge scale.
As with most things, it's a case of extremes - extremes of anything tend to be negative and someone who can't take anything seriously and mess around to an extreme level DO tend to loose peoples respect. It's not saying don't laugh, it's offering guidance not to become a fool by taking things to extreme levels.

Unfortunately many people associate Muslims and Islam with the extreme for many reasons which I'm sure we are all aware of and I think we naturally jump to conclusions, therefore, that things we see relating to Islam must have extreme meaning. Well to some maybe, but by no means all. In my 2 years living here and 8 years of visiting, I ave not met what I would call an extremist. I know they are there but I have no reason to be where they are. I agree totally with one of the replies ( forgive me for not making a note of your name) who suggested a lot of the extremist attitude is related to social class and education.
Those who are lucky enough to be educated tend to be more more worldly, more politically aware more open minded.

I think I've said all I want to say except that after watching people here endlessly and analyzing all of my own previous misconceptions about the religion and culture, ( I can empathize with all the opinions voiced on here, but not agree with all!) I firmly believe that we are all the same, deep down. We all laugh, we all cry, we are all human at the end of the day.
Please don't just see the extreme people here, it's really just not like that.

posted on Sep, 19 2012 @ 03:16 PM
I wonder how long a thread based on Jew jokes would last?

Probably not very long.

Why on earth would anyone on ATS decide to author a thread that pokes fun at any religious group as innocent as they claim their intentions to be?

ATS says they are trying to distance themselves from this.

I understand your attempt at humor but in my opinion it was in poor taste, but that is just my opinion.
edit on 19-9-2012 by Corruption Exposed because: (no reason given)

posted on Sep, 19 2012 @ 03:21 PM
reply to post by Corruption Exposed
The thread was written to try and show what passes for humor in the Islamic world.

The OP wasn't in any way poking fun at Muslims, IMO.

posted on Sep, 19 2012 @ 03:38 PM
reply to post by butcherguy

Don't get me wrong...I love a good joke, and I'm known to say a few that are not ATS appropriate. It's just if anyone were to post a similar thread on ANY other religion, most of ATS would be crapping their diapers screaming bloody hell.

Now I feel like a freaking rent a mod

No one likes a rend a mod so I'm out of here... Peace

posted on Sep, 19 2012 @ 04:04 PM
I was kind of disappointed because I thought the jokes would be funny, but I get the point you're trying to make

posted on Sep, 19 2012 @ 04:32 PM
reply to post by Lovely1973

Dear Lovely1973,

Thank you so much for that post. Take a look at my response to stormdancer777 earlier on this page, I think it applies to you as well.

I'm starting to see evidence of two groups of Muslims, the laughers and the frowners. (Yes, I'm over simplifying.) I'm really glad of that. I hope we can somehow encourage the people to put the laughers in power, or even just lower the number and influence of frowners.

I wonder, this thought just hit me, if some people are so absorbed by a movement that they push everything out of their lives that doesn't further the movement? I think that applies to many movements. If that's the case, they have lost balance in their lives, they are "unbalanced." Maybe restoring balance should be our long-term goal.

With respect,

posted on Sep, 19 2012 @ 04:39 PM
It is the old story of groups who live in fear being hypersensitive to outsider`s humour.

The groups have often been subject to decimation in the past e.g. jews, arabs, blacks, cockneys, scousers, polish, irish.

This can be summarised as below

However within their own circles their humour is often very rich. This may be because the survivors of previous decimations are so happy.

posted on Sep, 19 2012 @ 04:48 PM
reply to post by Corruption Exposed

Dear Corruption Exposed,

Hello, again. I wish we could get together somewhere for a pizza and a few beers (or colas, if you prefer). I'd like to share life stories so we could see how we ended up so differently.

Why on earth would anyone on ATS decide to author a thread that pokes fun at any religious group as innocent as they claim their intentions to be?
I do believe that I addressed your questions in my posts on the first page. But if that's not sufficient, let me know and I'll try again.

As you read through my posts in this thread, I hope you'll see that my main motive wasn't to poke fun at Muslims. And I don't understand your words about what I claim my intentions to be. Do you have any reason to believe that they weren't my intentions? Do you think I'm lying to you and to ATS in general? I was even critical of a poster who posted what I thought to be a crudely insulting joke. (The "Towel Head" discussion on page 1.)

ATS says they are trying to distance themselves from this.
I'm not sure what you mean, but please, and I mean this honestly, "alert" this thread so a Moderator can correct my errors or remove the thread if necessary. I don't want to violate any of the ATS rules or principles.

I understand your attempt at humor but in my opinion it was in poor taste, but that is just my opinion.
The purpose of the OP wasn't for me to tell jokes, and I didn't think those three of my own creation were very funny. They weren't meant to be. But I am grateful that you feel free enough with me to offer your opinion, thanks.

So, do you want to set up the Pizza date, or shall I?

With respect,

posted on Sep, 20 2012 @ 07:47 AM
reply to post by Stormdancer777

1:39 first vid.........................

I can't do any more!!
I went through so many emotions I nearly had a brain hemorage, seriously! Too much recent exercise.

THAT WAS WIERD (or was it just me?)
what planet is this again?

Those people NEED intervention before they go stark raving mad! Perhaps it's even a little too late for some, but we will deffinately have to handle that bunch with bucket load fo compassion.
But tag team stiuation, so we don't burn out, you know.

like I said 1:39 was all I could do, sorry.

Man, now I feel just plain ignorant because I choose not to view such rubbish, shucks...........

posted on Sep, 20 2012 @ 08:51 AM

Originally posted by butcherguy
reply to post by Stormdancer777

Yep, be prepared for flames.

It is okay to call someone from Kentucky inbred, with absolutely zero evidence to back it up....and that's funny.

Call the Muslims inbred AND have data to back it up..... Well, you are just a horrible person.

oooooh i thought about it, then took a breath too
Haven't you heard?!...Tasmania is full of them!

They have what I affectionately like to call, slack jaw, wear flannys and ugg boots and have a few kids who look the same.
Rock on brothers and sisters

(please let me come back for visits, I'm so sorry (silent prayer to Tasmania), it truly is a spectacular place, really beautiful)

I don't believe insinuating they are inbred (is either entirely smart nor), equals some sort of deficiency though, nothing is insurmountable with the right care. And seriously, humanity hasn't been allowed to flow and mix either, think about that for a second.

Sooner or later people are going to have to put the past into prosepective and move on and forward, and some of them are going to have to forgive a whole lotta somethings. I'm not referring just to the middle east here either.

They probably just want recognition for being so manly, unfoirtunately i would want to hear it from a very massive group of their women who are as confident and strong as the men.
We'll see how they are fairing for ourselves.
Do we need that?
Hell yeah we do! well i do anyway................

(updated and freaky!) just read entire thread, and wanted to tell you lovely1973 YOU ROCK!!
Thank you so much for popping in here, we would love to hear more about where you live, it would be an honour to read about it truly.

We ( the rest of us) are starved of the what's, the why's, and wherefores, being such voyers and opinionated people.
I've seen a few docos on the middle east, some fantastic, some not so and most of us would know in our hearts the media feed offal mostly, but hearing actual accounts from what we know to be the majority, (who we also know are normal family friend loving people) helps to reinforce that beautifully.
Can't wait for your first thread sister

posted on Sep, 20 2012 @ 11:49 AM
reply to post by AussieAmandaC

Thanks for that! I'm more than happy to share my experiences if anyone wants to hear!

I think the crucial thing for me is, when reading threads such as this is that throughout my life ( before meeting my husband) I have myself experienced many of the more negative viewpoints that some folks on here express, as I said I can empathize! Marrying him, and living here have been a great learning curve for me.

I have great ( Muslim ) friends of many different nationalities, I send my kids to school here and I hope it goes someway to express how I feel to say that I would never move back to the UK, despite my family and me being born and bred there! For me, life here is easier, safer and much more secure for my kids than England! I of course love my home country, but a long holiday once a year is enough for me!

I think normal everyday life of Muslims in the Middle East just isn't newsworthy, as I think someone mentioned, we aren't shown the everyday or lighthearted side of life here very often. I can honestly say it isn't that much different to living anywhere, only in my opinion, often nicer!
I don't think we will ever understand the minds of the fanatics or extremists, they are a law unto themselves and it's a shame they give everyday people a bad reputation.
Sorry for the rant but hope it has some relevance!

L x

posted on Sep, 22 2012 @ 08:43 AM
reply to post by Lovely1973

Please do lovely, it would go a long way to showing some of those on ats about reality,
and not the minority or media run rubbish

posted on Sep, 22 2012 @ 06:17 PM

off-topic post removed to prevent thread-drift


posted on Sep, 22 2012 @ 06:33 PM
Islamic Joke:
What is the worst thing for a Muslim?


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