reply to post by blackmetalmist
Hi There. I just read all 8 pages of your thread. SnF.
Here's the facts I've derived from reading, with my own speculations mixed in:
You've been with this guy for 9 years. You are now thirty. That means you were 21 when you first started dating. You don't go out much, and like
to stay home. You are a homebody, of sorts, and your biological clock is ticking away. Uhhuh. I see a girl that has invested a lot of time with one
guy, and is wanting a family, and soon.
You aren't living together, because you said you had to go pick up some stuff of yours from his house. Interesting. You said earlier in the thread
that you were at work, and was on the verge of tearing up. So you have a job, and make a living. Uhhuh. I see someone who is independent and wants
the security of a solid relationship.
EvilSadamClone was the only one that asked what he did that was so disrespectful. You declined comment. I'll surmise he was flirting with other
girls. There is a whole list of things that a person can do to their partner that is disrespectful. I picked that one because given the long term
nature of your relationship, with no solid commitments from either party, is kinda rare nowadays. This is less about the disrespect and more about
you laying the law down. You're thirty, a full grown woman. It's time you get what you want out of life. Tell him that.
I'll be the only person in this thread to say to work things out and get back together with him. You've vested years of your life with him.
You've had a lot of good times together. You had a spark once, and you fell in love with him. Remember how nice it was to hold him, and snuggle up
against him, and watch movies together? Sure, that has faded, but those tears you want to cry? It's really because you love him, and he is being a
butthole. Men ARE like that at times.
Remember, for a moment, back to that first kiss, the electricity you felt, and how you knew in your heart that you wanted him to be your partner. As
a female, you remember.
Nine years is a long time to be with someone, and there once was some magic, the fire of passion there, otherwise you wouldn't have invested so much
time. By the mere fact you didn't publicly fillet him means you still have feelings for him, feelings you haven't addressed in a while, but need
to. If he was a complete butthole, you would have told the whole story about him, and yet, you haven't. To me, that means that you still love him.
You want to have babies with him, and in desperation to get it through his thick skull, you broke it off.
You won't find solace in being alone. You will only find it in his arms. When you search yourself deep inside, you'll find that you do love him,
and you need to have a rational and heartfelt conversation with him about what you really want out of life. Marriage and children are a natural
course of action, and I'll suppose that he is around your age, and as scared of that as you are. Not talking about the outcome of your relationship
is futile, so grow a pair, and talk to him about what you REALLY want out of life.
Set up a date with him to talk about the direction you want. Talk about the "old times" when you first started dating, and how you both got off
track from what a relationship should be. I'll bet that spark is still there, it just needs fanned back into a fire. Take charge, and tell him
exactly want you think.
You can work it out, you are wise and intelligent. You know what you want out of life. It's just time to act upon it. You'll cheer up once you
remember why you fell in love with him in the first place. Focus on that, and tell him. He's your man. Treat him as such.
Please tell me I am wrong, OK?